A league from Epidamnum had we sail'd, Before the always-wind-obeying deep Gave any tragic instance of our harm : But longer did we not retain much hope; For what obscured light the heavens did grant Did but convey unto our fearful minds
A doubtful warrant of immediate death; Which, though myself would gladly have em- brac'd,
Yet the incessant weepings of my wife, Weeping before for what she saw must come, And piteous plainings of the pretty babes, That mourn'd for fashion, ignorant what to fear, Forc'd me to seek delays for them and me. And this it was, for other means was none : The sailors sought for safety by our boat, And left the ship, then sinking-ripe, to us: My wife, more careful for the latter-born, Had fasten'd him unto a small spare mast, Such as seafaring men provide for storms; To him one of the other twins was bound, Whilst I had been like heedful of the other. The children thus dispos'd, my wife and I, Fixing our eyes on whom our care was fix'd, Fasten'd ourselves at either end the mast; And floating straight, obedient to the stream, Were carried towards Corinth, as we thought. At length the sun, gazing upon the earth, Dispers'd those vapours that offended us, And by the benefit of his wished light The seas wax'd calm, and we discovered Two ships from far making amain to us; Of Corinth that, of Epidaurus this: But ere they came, -O! let me say no more; Gather the sequel by that went before.
Duke. Nay, forward, old man; do not break off so;
After his brother; and importun'd me That his attendant-so his case was like, Reft of his brother, but retain'd his name- Might bear him company in the quest of him; Whom whilst I labour'd of a love to see, I hazarded the loss of whom I lov'd. Five summers have I spent in furthest Greece, Roaming clean through the bounds of Asia, And, coasting homeward, came to Ephesus, Hopeless to find, yet loath to leave unsought Or that or any place that harbours men. But there must end the story of my life; And happy were I in my timely death, Could all my travels warrant me they live. Duke. Hapless Ægeon, whom the fates have mark'd
To bear the extremity of dire mishap! Now, trust me, were it not against our laws, Against my crown, my oath, my dignity Which princes, would they, may not disannul, My soul should sue as advocate for thee. But though thou art adjudged to the death, And passed sentence may not be recall'd But to our honour's great disparagement, Yet will I favour thee in what I can: Therefore, merchant, I'll limit thee this day 150 To seek thy life by beneficial help : Try all the friends thou hast in Ephesus; Beg thou, or borrow, to make up the sum, And live; if no, then thou art doom'd to die. Gaoler, take him to thy custody.
Ege. Hopeless and helpless doth Ægeon wend, But to procrastinate his lifeless end. Exeunt.
SCENE II.-The Mart.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse, DROMIO of Syracuse, and a Merchant.
For we may pity, though not pardon thee. Age. O! had the gods done so, I had not Worthily term'd them merciless to us, For, ere the ships could meet by twice five Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate.
Mer. Therefore, give out you are of Epidamnum,
This very day, a Syracusian merchant
We were encounter'd by a mighty rock; Which being violently borne upon, Our helpful ship was splitted in the midst ;
Is apprehended for arrival here;
So that in this unjust divorce of us Fortune had left to both of us alike
And not being able to buy out his life, According to the statute of the town Dies ere the weary sun set in the west. There is your money that I had to keep.
Ant. S. Go bear it to the Centaur, where we host,
What to delight in, what to sorrow for. Her part, poor soul! seeming as burdened With lesser weight, but not with lesser woe, Was carried with more speed before the wind, And in our sight they three were taken up By fishermen of Corinth, as we thought. At length another ship had seized on us; And, knowing whom it was their hap to save, Gave healthful welcome to their shipwreck'd
And would have reft the fishers of their prey, Had not their bark been very slow of sail;
And therefore homeward did they bend their
Thus have you heard me sever'd from my bliss, That by misfortunes was my life prolong'd, To tell sad stories of my own mishaps.
Duke. And, for the sake of them thou sorrow- est for,
Do me the favour to dilate at full What hath befall'n of them and thee till now.
Ant. S. A trusty villain, sir, that very oft, When I am dull with care and melancholy, Lightens my humour with his merry jests. What, will you walk with me about the town, And then go to my inn and dine with me? Mer. I am invited, sir, to certain merchants, Of whom I hope to make much benefit; I crave your pardon. Soon at five o'clock, Please you, I'll meet with you upon the mart,
Bge. My youngest boy, and yet my eldest care, And afterwards consort you till bed-time: At eighteen years became inquisitive My present business calls me from you now.
Commends me to the thing I cannot get. I to the world am like a drop of water That in the ocean seeks another drop; Who, falling there to find his fellow forth, Unseen, inquisitive, confounds himself: So I, to find a mother and a brother, In quest of them, unhappy, lose myself. Enter DROMIO of Ephesus.
Here comes the almanac of my true date. What now? How chance thou art return'd so soon?
Being forbid? There, take you that, sir knave. Strikes him.
Dro. E. What mean you, sir? for God's sake, hold your hands.
4) Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take my heels. Exit. Ant. S. Upon my life, by some device or other The villain is o'erraught of all my money. They say this town is full of cozenage; As, nimble jugglers that deceive the eye, Dark-working sorcerers that change the mind, Soul-killing witches that deform the body, Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks, And many such like liberties of sin:
Dro. E. Return'd so soon! rather approach'd too late.
The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit, The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell; My mistress made it one upon my cheek: She is so hot because the meat is cold;
The meat is cold because you come not home; You come not home because you have no stomach; You have no stomach having broke your fast; 50 But we that know what 'tis to fast and pray Are penitent for your default to-day.
Ant. S. Stop in your wind, sir. Tell me this, I pray:
Where have you left the money that I gave you? Dro. E. Ol-sixpence, that I had o' Wednes- day last
To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper; The saddler had it, sir; I kept it not.
Ant. S. I am not in a sportive humour now, Tell me, and dally not, where is the money? We being strangers here, how dar'st thou trust So great a charge from thine own custody?
Dro. E. I pray you, jest, sir, as you sit at dinner. I from my mistress come to you in post; If I return, I shall be post indeed, For she will score your fault upon my pate. Methinks, your maw, like mine, should be your clock
And strike you home without a messenger.
Ant. S. Come, Dromio, come; these jests are out of season:
Reserve them till a merrier hour than this. Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee?
Dro. E. To me, sir? why, you gave no goldtome. Ant. S. Come on, sir knave, have done your foolishness,
And tell me how thou hast dispos'd thy charge. Dro. E. My charge was but to fetch you from the mart
Home to your house, the Phœnix, sir, to dinner. My mistress and her sister stay for you.
Ant. S. Now, as I am a Christian, answer me, In what safe place you have bestow'd my money; Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours That stands on tricks when I am undispos'd. 80 Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me?
Dro. E. I have some marks of yours upon my pate,
Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders, But not a thousand marks between you both. If I should pay your worship those again, Perchance you will not bear them patiently.
If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner. I'll to the Centaur, to go seek this slave: I greatly fear my money is not safe.
SCENE I. The House of ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus. Enter ADRIANA and LUCIANA,
Adr. Neither my husband nor the slave return'd, That in such haste I sent to seek his master! Sure, Luciana, it is two o'clock.
Luc. Perhaps some merchant hath invited him, And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner. Good sister, let us dine and never fret: A man is master of his liberty: Time is their master, and, when they see time, They 'll go or come: if so, be patient, sister. Adr. Why should their liberty than ours Le more?
We bid be quiet when we hear it cry;
But were we burden'd with like weight of pain, As much or more we should ourselves complain; So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee, With urging helpless patience would'st relieve
But if thou live to see like right bereft, This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left. Luc. Well, I will marry one day, but to try. Here comes your man: now is your husband nigh. Enter DROMIO of Ephesus.
Adr. Say, is your tardy master now at hand? Dro. E. Nay, he is at two hands with me, and that my two ears can witness.
Adr. Say, didst thou speak with him? Know'st thou his mind?
Dro. E. Ay,ay; he told his mind upon mine ear. Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it. Luc. Spake he so doubtfully, thou could'st not feel his meaning?
Dro. E. Nay, he struck so plainly, I could too well feel his blows; and withal so doubtfully, that I could scarce understand them.
Adr. But say, I prithee, is he coming home? It seems he hath great care to please his wife. Dro. E. Why, mistress, sure my master is horn-mad.
Adr. Horn-mad, thou villain!
Dro. E. I mean not cuckold-mad; but, sure, he is stark mad.
When I desir'd him to come home to dinner, 60 He ask'd me for a thousand marks in gold : ''Tis dinner-time,' quoth I; 'mygold!' quoth he: 'Your meat doth burn,' quoth I; 'my gold!'
'Will you come home?' quoth I; 'my gold!' quoth he:
'Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain?'
Adr. His company must do his minions grace, Whilst I at home starve for a merry look. Hath homely age the alluring beauty took From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it : Are my discourses dull? barren my wit? If voluble and sharp discourse be marr'd, Unkindness blunts it more than marble hard : Do their gay vestments his affections bait ? That's not my fault; he's master of my state: What ruins are in me that can be found By him not ruin'd? then is he the ground Of my defeatures. My decayed fair A sunny look of his would soon repair; But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale And feeds from home: poor I am but his stale. Luc. Self-harming jealousy! fie! beat it hence. Adr. Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dispense.
I know his eye doth homage otherwhere, Or else what lets it but he would be here? Sister, you know, he promis'd me a chain : Would that alone, alone he would detain, So he would keep fair quarter with his bed! I see, the jewel best enamelled
Will lose his beauty : and though gold bides still, That others touch, yet often touching will Wear gold; and no man that hath a name, But falsehood and corruption doth it shame. Since that my beauty cannot please his eye, I'll weep what's left away, and weeping die. Luc. How many fond fools serve mad jealousy! Exeunt.
SCENE II.-A public Place. Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse.
Ant. S. The gold I gave to Dromio is laid up Safe at the Centaur; and the heedful slave Is wander'd forth, in care to seek me out. By computation, and mine host's report, I could not speak with Dromio since at first I sent him from the mart. See, here he comes.
Enter DROMIO of Syracuse.
'The pig,' quoth I, 'is burn'd;' 'my gold!' quoth he:
'My mistress, sir,' quoth I; 'hang up thy mis
I know not thy mistress: out on thy mistress!' Luc. Quoth who?
How now, sir! is your merry humour alter'd? As you love strokes, so jest with me again. You know no Centaur? You receiv'd no gold? Your mistress sent to have me home to dinner?
'I know,' quoth he, 'no house, no wife, no mis. My house was at the Phoenix? Wast thou mad,
That thus so madly thou didst answer me?
Dro. S. What answer, sir? when spake I such a word?
For, in conclusion, he did beat me there.
Adr. Go back again, thou slave, and fetch him home.
Ant. S. Even now, even here, not half an hour since.
Dro. E. Go back again, and be new beaten home?
Dro. S. I did not see you since you sent me hence,
For God's sake, send some other messenger. Adr. Back, slave, or I will break thy pate
Dro. E. Am I so round with you as you with me, That like a football you do spurn me thus? You spurn me hence, and he will spurn me hither: If I last in this service, you must case me in The, how impatience lowereth in your fee on when you
Dro. S. Hold, sir, for God's sake! now your jest is earnest:
Ant. S. Because that I familiarly sometimes
Ant. S. Thank me, sir! for what? Dro. S. Marry, sir, for this something, that you gave me for nothing.
Ant. S. I'll make you amends next, to give you nothing for something. But say, sir, is it dinner-time?
Dro. S. No, sir: I think the meat wants that I have.
Ant. S. In good time, sir; what's that? Dro. S. Basting.
Ant. S. Well, sir, then 'twill be dry.
Dro. S. If it be, sir, I pray you eat none of it. Ant. S. Your reason?
Dro. S. Lest it make you choleric, and purchase me another dry basting.
An'. S. Well, sir, learn to jest in good time: there's a time for all things.
Dro. S. I durst have denied that, before you were so choleric.
Ant. S. By what rule, sir?
Dro. S. Marry, sir, by a rule as plain as the plain bald pate of Father Time himself.
Dro. S. There's no time for a man to recover
his hair that grows bald by nature.
Ant. S. May he not do it by fine and recovery? Dro. S. Yes, to pay a fine for a periwig and recover the lost hair of another man.
Ant. S. Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being, as it is, so plentiful an excrement?
Dro. S. Because it is a blessing that he bestows on beasts: and what he hath scanted men in hair he hath given them in wit.
Ant. S. Why, but there's many a man hath more hair than wit.
Dro. S. Not a man of those but he hath the wit to lose his hair.
Ant. S. Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain dealers without wit.
Dro. S. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost: yet he loseth it in a kind of jollity.
Ant. S. For what reason?
Dro. S. For two; and sound ones too.
The time was once when thou unurg'd would'st
That never words were music to thine ear, That never object pleasing in thine eye, That never touch well welcome to thy hand, That never meat sweet-savour'd in thy taste, 120 Unless I spake, or look'd, or touch'd, or carv'd to thee.
How comes it now, my husband, O! how comes it, That thou art thus estranged from thyself? Thyself I call it, being strange to me, That, undividable, incorporate,
Am better than thy dear self's better part. Ah! do not tear away thyself from me, For know, my love, as easy may'st thou fall A drop of water in the breaking gulf, And take unmingled thence that drop again, 130 Without addition or diminishing,
As take from me thyself and not me too. How dearly would it touch thee to the quick, Should'st thou but hear I were licentious, And that this body, consecrate to thee, By ruffian lust should be contaminate! Would'st thou not spit at me, and spura at me, And hurl the name of husband in my face, And tear the stain'd skin off my harlot-brow, And from my false hand cut the wedding-ring, 140 And break it with a deep-divorcing vow? I know thou canst; and therefore see thou do it. I am possess'd with an adulterate blot; My blood is mingled with the crime of lust: For if we two be one and thou play false, I do digest the poison of thy flesh, Being strumpeted by thy contagion. Keep then fair league and truce with thy true
I live distain'd, thou undishonoured.
Ant. S. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you not.
In Ephesus I am but two hours old, As strange unto your town as to your talk; Who, every word by all my wit being scann'd, Want wit in all one word to understand.
Luc. Fie, brother: how the world is chang'd with you!
Ant. S. Am I in earth, in heaven, or in hell? Slceping or waking? mad or well-advis'd? Known unto these, and to myself disguis'd! I'll say as they say, and persever so,
Dro. S. Master, shall I be porter at the gate?
Adr. Ay; and let none enter, lest I break your pate.
Adr. By thee; and this thou didst return And in this mist at all adventures go.
That he did buffet thee, and in his blows Denied my house for his, me for his wife.
Ant. S. Did you converse, sir, with this gentle- woman?
What is the course and drift of your compact ? Dro. S. I, sir? I never saw her till this time. Ant. S. Villain, thou liest; for even her very words
Didst thou deliver to me on the mart.
Dro. S. I never spake with her in all my life. Ant. S. How can she thus then call us by our
Unless it be by inspiration?
Adr. How ill agrees it with your gravity To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave, Abetting him to thwart me in my mood! Be it my wrong, you are from me exempt, But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt. Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine; Thou art an elm, my husband, I a vine, Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state, Makes me with thy strength to communicate: If aught possess thee from me, it is dross, 180 Usurping ivy, brier, or idle moss;
Who, all for want of pruning, with intrusion Infect thy sap and live on thy confusion.
Ant. S. To me she speaks; she moves me for her theme!
What! was I married to her in my dream, Or sleep I now and think I hear all this? What error drives our eyes and ears amiss? Until I know this sure uncertainty,
I'll entertain the offer'd fallacy.
Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner.
Dro. S. O, for my beads! Icross me for a sinner. This is the fairy land: O! spite of spites,
We talk with goblins, owls, and elvish sprites, If we obey them not, this will ensue,
They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue.
Luc. Why prat'st thou to thyself and answer'st not?
Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot!
Dro. S. I am transformed, master, am I not? Ant. S. I think thou art, in mind, and so am I. Dro. S. Nay, master, both in mind and in my shape.
Ant. S. Thou hast thine own form. Dro. S.
No, I am an ape. Luc. If thou art chang'd to aught, 'tis to an ass. Dro. S. "Tis true; she rides me and I long for grass.
'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be But I should know her as well as she knows me. Adr. Come, come; no longer will I be a fool, To put the finger in the eye and weep, Whilst man and master laugh my woes to scorn. Come, sir, to dinner. Dromio, keep the gate. Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day, And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks. Sirrah, if any ask you for your master, Say he dines forth, and let no creature enter. Come, sister. Dromio, play the porter well.
Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, DROMIO of Ephesus, ANGELO, and BALTHAZAR.
Ant. E. Good Signior Angelo, you must excuse us all;
My wife is shrewish when I keep not hours. Say that I linger'd with you at your shop To see the making of her carcanet, And that to-morrow you will bring it home. But here's a villain that would face me down He met me on the mart, and that I beat him, And charg'd him with a thousand marks in gold, And that I did deny my wife and house. Thou drunkard, thou, what didst thou mean by this?
Bal. I hold your dainties cheap, sir, and your welcome dear.
Ant. E. O Signior Balthazar, either at flesh or fish,
A table-full of welcome makes scarce one dainty dish.
Bal. Good meat, sir, is common; that every churl affords.
Ant. E. And welcome more common, for that's nothing but words.
Bal. Small cheer and great welcome makes a merry feast.
Ant. E. Ay, to a niggardly host and more sparing guest:
But though my cates be mean, take them in good part;
Better cheer may you have, but not with better heart.
But soft! my door is lock'd. Go bid them let us in.
Dro. E. Maud, Bridget, Marian, Cicely, Gillian, Jen!
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