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Re-enter Anne Page.
Shal. Here conies fair mistress Anne :-Would I were young, for your sake, mistress Anne!
Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company.
Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. Eva. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace.
[Exeunt Shallow and Sir H. Evans. Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, sir? Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well.
Anne. The dinner attends you, sir.
Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth: Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow: [Exit Simple.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man :-I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born.
Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit, till you come.
Slen. I'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did.
Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in.
Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you: I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town?
Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of.
Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it, as any man in England:-you are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not?
* Three set-to's, bouts, or hits.
Anne. Ay, indeed, sir.
Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have seen Sackerson* loose, twenty times; and have taken him by the chain: but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it pass'df-but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em ; they are very ill-favoured rough things.
Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; we stay for you.
Slen. I'll eat nothing; I thank you, sir.
Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, sir: come, come.
Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way.
Page. Come on, sir.
Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first.
Anne. Not I, sir; pray you, keep on.
Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la: I will
not do you that wrong.
Anne. I pray you, sir.
Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome: you do yourself wrong, indeed, la.
Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple.
Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house, which is the way: and there dwells one mis tress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse,
* The name of a bear exhibited at Paris-Garden, in Southwark.
+ Surpassed all expression.
or his dry nurse, or his cook, or his laundry, his washer, and his wringer.
Simp. Well, sir.
Eva. Nay, it is petter yet:-- give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with mistress Anne Page; and the letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your master's desires to mistress Anne Page: I pray you, be gone; 1 will make an end of my dinner: there's pippins and cheese to come. [Exeunt.
A room in the Garter Inn.
Enter Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, and Robin.
Fal. Mine host of the Garter,
Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scholarly, and wisely.
Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers.
Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot.
Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week.
Host. Thou'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap said I well, bully Hector?
Fal. Do so, good mine host.
Host. I have spoke; let him follow: let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow. [Exit Host.
Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman, a fresh tapster: go; adieu.
Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive. [Exit Bard.
Pist. O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the
Nym. He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it.
Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time.
Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's rest.
Pist. Convey, the wise it call: steal! foh; a ficot for the phrase!
Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels.
Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; I must shift.
Pist. Young ravens must have food.
Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good. Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about.
Pist. Two yards, and more.
Fal. No quips now, Pistol; indeed I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's.
Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English.
Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angelst. Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her boy, say I.
Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels,
For Hungarian. + Fig.
Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her: and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious eyliads: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly.
Pist. Then did the sun on dung-hill shine.
Nym. I thank thee for that humour.
Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too: she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become,
And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all!
Nym. I will run no base humour; here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputa tion.
Fal. Hold, sirrah, [to Rob.] bear you these letters tightlyt;
Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.-
And high and low beguile the rich and poor:
Tester I'll have in pouch, when thou shalt lack,
Base Phrygian Turk !
Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge.
* Escheatour, an officer in the Exchequer.
Sixpence I'll have in pocket.