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brain affected, and in a manner overclouded, melancholy.” “ Amongst herbs to be eaten from that indissoluble sympathy between (he says) I find gourds, cucumbers, melons, the noble and less noble parts of the body disallowed ; but especially CABBAGE. It which Dennis hints at ? The unnatural and causeth troublesome dreams, and sends up painful manner of his sitting must also black vapours to the brain. Galen, Loc. greatly aggravate the evil, insomuch that I Affect. lib. iii. cap. 6, of all herbs condemus have sometimes ventured to liken tailors at CABBAGE. And Isaack, lib. ii. cap. 1, animæ their boards to so many envious Junos, sitting gravitatem facit, it brings heaviness to the cross-legged to hinder the birth of their own soul.” I could not omit so flattering a testifelicity. The legs transversed thus X cross- mony from an author who, having no theory wise, or decussated, was among the ancients of his own to serve, has so unconsciously the posture of malediction. The Turks, who contributed to the confirmation of mine. It practise it at this day, are noted to be a is well known that this last-named vegetable melancholy people.
has, from the earliest periods which we can Secondly, his diet.—To which purpose I discover, constituted almost the sole food of find a most remarkable passage in Burton, this extraordinary race of people. in his chapter entitled “ Bad diet a cause of
HOSPITA ON THE IMMODERATE INDULGENCE OF THE PLEASURES
OF THE PALATE.
MR. REFLECTOR, -My husband and I are came in fasting; but as that excuse could fond of company, and being in easy circum- not serve above once or twice at most, he stances, we are seldom without a party to has latterly dropped the mask altogether, dinner two or three days in a week. The and chosen to appear in his own proper utmost cordiality has hitherto prevailed at colours without reserve or apology. our meetings; but there is a young gentle You cannot imagine how unpleasant his man, a near relation of my husband's, that conduct has become. His way of staring at has lately come among us, whose preposterous the dishes as they are brought in, has absobehaviour bids fair, if not timely checked, to lutely something immoder in it: it is like disturb our tranquillity. He is too great a the stare of an impudent man of fashion at favourite with my husband in other respects, a fine woman, when she first comes into a for me to remonstrate with him in any other room. I am positively in pain for the dishes, than this distant way. A letter printed in and cannot help thinking they have conyour publication may catch his eye ; for he sciousness, and will be put out of counteis a great reader, and makes a point of seeing nance, he treats them so like what they all the new things that come out. Indeed, are not. he is by no means deficient in understanding. Then again he makes no scruple of keeping My husband says that he has a good deal of a joint of meat on the table, after the cheese
but for my part I cannot say I am any and fruit are brought in, till he has what he judge of that, having seldom observed him calls done with it. Now how awkward this open his mouth except for purposes very looks, where there are ladies, you may judge, foreign to conversation. In short, Sir, this Mr. Reflector,-how it disturbs the order young gentleman's failing is, an immoderate and comfort of a meal. And yet I always indulgence of his palate. The first time he make a point of helping him tirst, contrary dined with us, he thought it necessary to to all good manners, -- before any of my extenuate the length of time he kept the female friends are helped, — that he may dinner on the table, by declaring that he had avoid this very error. I wish he would eat taken a very long walk in the morning, and before he comes out.
What makes his proceedings more particu- more reconciled to it, in some measure, from larly offensive at our house is, that my my telling her that it was the custom of the husband, though out of common politeness world, — to which, however senseless, we he is obliged to set dishes of animal food must submit, so far as we could do it with before his visitors, yet himself and his whole innocence, not to give offence; and she has family, (myself included) feed entirely on shown so much strength of mind on other vegetables. We have a theory, that animal occasions, which I have no doubt is owing to food is neither wholesome por natural to the calmness and serenity superinduced by man; and even vegetables we refuse to eat her diet, that I am in good hopes when the until they have undergone the operation of proper season for her début arrives, she may fire, in consideration of those numberless be brought to endure the sight of a roasted little living creatures which the glass helps chicken or a dish of sweet-breads for the us to detect in every fibre of the plant or first time without fainting. Such being the root before it be dressed. On the same nature of our little household, you may guess theory we boil our water, which is our only what inroads into the economy of it,—what drink, before we suffer it to come to table. revolutions and turnings of things upside Our children are perfect little Pythagoreans: down, the example of such a feeder as it would do you good to see them in their Mr. is calculated to produce. nursery, stuffing their dried fruits, figs, I wonder, at a time like the present, when raisins, and milk, which is the only approach the scarcity of every kind of food is so to animal food which is allowed. They have painfully acknowledged, that shame has do no notion how the substance of a creature effect upon him. Can he have read Mr. that ever had life can become food for an- Malthus's Thoughts on the Ratio of Food other creature. A beef-steak is an absurdity to Population ? Can he think it reasonable to them; a mutton-chop, a solecism in that one man should consume the sustenance terms; a cutlet, a word absolutely without of many ? any meaning; a butcher is nonsense, except The young gentleman has an agreeable air so far as it is taken for a man who delights and person, such as are not unlikely to in blood, or a hero. In this happy state of recommend him on the score of matrimony. innocence we have kept their minds, not But his fortune is not over large ; and what allowing them to go into the kitchen, or to prudent young woman would think of emhear of any preparations for the dressing of barking hers with a man who would bring animal food, or even to know that such three or four mouths (or what is equivalent things are practised. But as a state of to them) into a family? She might as ignorance is incompatible with a certain age, reasonably choose a widower in the same and as my eldest girl, who is ten years old circumstances, with three or four children. next Midsummer, must shortly be introduced I cannot think who he takes after. His into the world and sit at table with us, where father and mother, by all accounts, were she will see some things which will shock all very moderate eaters; only I have heard her received notions, I have been endeavour- that the latter swallowed her victuals very ing by little and little to break her mind, and fast, and the former had a tidious custom of prepare it for the disagreeable impressions sitting long at his meals. Perhaps he takes which must be forced upon it. The first hint after both. I gave her upon the subject, I could see her I wish you would turn this in your recoil from it with the same horror with thoughts, Mr. Reflector, and give us your which we listen to a tale of Anthro-ideas on the subject of excessive eating, and, pophagism; but she has gradually grown particularly, of animal food. HOSPITA,
MR. REFLECTOR,—I am going to lay before period when it was thought proper, on you a case of the most iniquitous persecution account of my advanced age, that I should that ever poor devii suffered.
mix with other boys more unreservedly than You must know, then, that I have been I had hitherto done. I was accordingly sent visited with a calamity ever since my birth. to boarding-school. How shall I mention it without offending Here the melancholy truth became too delicacy? Yet out it must. My sufferings, apparent to be disguised. The prying then, have all arisen from a most inordinate republic of which a great school consists appetite
soon found me out : there was no shifting Not for wealth, not for vast possessions,— the blame any longer upon other people's then might I have hoped to find a cure in shoulders,-no good-natured maid to take some of those precepts of philosophers or upon herself the enormities of which I stood poets,—those verba et voces which Horace accused in the article of bread and butter, speaks of ;
besides the crying sin of stolen ends of quibus hunc lenire dolorem
puddings, and cold pies strangely missing. Possis, et magnam morbi deponere partem;
The truth was but too manifest in my looks,
-in the evident signs of inani which I not for glory, not for fame, not' for applause, exhibited after the fullest meals, in spite of --for against this disease, too, he tells us the double allowance which my master was there are certain piacula, or, as Pope has privately instructed by my kind parents to chosen to render it,
give me. The sense of the ridiculous, which
is but too much alive in grown persons, is “rhymes, which fresh and fresh applied, Will cure the arrant'st puppy of his pride;"
tenfold more active and alert in boys. Once
detected, I was the constant butt of their nor yet for pleasure, properly so called : the arrows,—the mark against which every puny strict and virtuous lessons which I received leveller directed his little shaft of scorn. The in early life from the best of parents, -a very Graduses and Thesauruses were raked pious clergyman of the Church of England, for phrases to pelt me with by the tiny now no more, I trust have rendered me pedants. Ventri natus—Ventri deditus, – sufficiently secure on that side:
Vesana gula, — Escarum gurges,—Dapibus No, Sir, for none of these things; but an indulgens,—Non dans fræna gulæ,-Sectans appetite, in its coarsest and least metaphorical lautæ fercula mensæ, resounded wheresoever sense, -an appetite for food.
I passed. I led a weary life, suffering the The exorbitancies of my arrow-root and penalties of guilt for that which was no pappish days I cannot go back far enough to crime, but only following the blameless remember; only I have been told that my dictates of nature. The remembrance of mother's constitution not admitting of my those childish reproaches haunts me yet being nursed at home, the woman who had oftentimes in my dreams. My school-days the care of me for that purpose used to make come again, and the horror I used to feel, most extravagant demands for my pretended when, in some silent corner, retired from the excesses in that kind; which my parents, notice of my unfeeling playfellows, I have rather than believe anything unpleasant of sat to mumble the solitary slice of gingerme, chose to impute to the known covetous- bread allotted me by the bounty of conness and mercenary disposition of that sort siderate friends, and have ached at heart of people. This blindness continued on their because I could not spare a portion of it, as part after I was sent for home, up to the I saw other boys do, to some favourite boy ;
for if I know my own heart, I was never except for its long sitting. Those vivacious, selfish,-never possessed a luxury which I long-continued meals of the latter Romans, did not hasten to communicate to others; indeed, I justly envy; but the kind of fare but my food, alas ! was none; it was an which the Curii and Dentati put up with, I indispensable necessary ; I could as soon could be content with. Dentatus I have have spared the blood in my veins, as have been called, among other unsavoury jests. parted that with my companions.
Doublemeal is another name which my Well, no one stage of suffering lasts for acquaintance have palmed upon me, for an ever: we should grow reconciled to it at innocent piece of policy which I put in length, I suppose, if it did. The miseries of practice for some time without being found my school-days had their end; I was once out ; which was—going the round of my more restored to the paterval dwelling. The friends, beginning with the most primitive affectionate solicitude of my parents was feeders among them, who take their dinner directed to the good-natured purpose of about one o'clock, and so successively dropconcealing, even from myself, the infirmity ping in upon the next and the next, till by which haunted me. I was continually toll the time I got among my more fashionable that I was growing, and the appetite I dis- intimates, whose hour was six or seven, I played was humanely represented as being have nearly made up the body of a just and nothing more than a symptom and an effect complete meal (as I reckon it), without of that. I used even to be complimented taking more than one dinner (as they account upon it. But this temporary fiction could of dinners) at one person's house. Since I not endure above a year or two. I ceased to have been found out, I endeavour to make grow, but, alas ! I did not cease my demands up by a damper, as I call it, at home, before for alimentary sustenance.
I go out. But alas ! with me, increase of Those times are long since past, and with appetite truly grows by what it feeds on. them have ceased to exist the fond conceal. What is peculiarly offensive to me at those ment—the indulgent blindness—the delicate dinner-parties is, the senseless custom of overlooking—the compassionate fiction. I cheese, and the dessert afterwards. I have and my infirmity are left exposed and bare a rational antipathy to the former; and for to the broad, unwinking eye of the world, fruit, and those other vain vegetable substiwhich nothing can elude. My meals are tutes for meat (meat, the only legitimate scanned, my mouthfuls weighed in a balance; aliment for human creatures since the Flood, that which appetite demands is set down to as I take it to be deduced from that perthe account of gluttony,-a sin which my mission, or ordinance rather, given to Noah whole soul abhors—nay, which Nature her- and his descendants), I hold them in perfect self has put it out of my power to commit. contempt. Hay for horses. I remember a I am constitutionally disenabled from that pretty apologue, which Mandeville tells, very vice ; for how can he be guilty of excess who much to this purpose, in his Fable of the never can get enough ? Let them cease, Bees :-He brings in a Lion arguing with a then, to watch my plate ; and leave off their Merchant, who had ventured to expostulate ungracious comparisons of it to the seven with this king of beasts upon his violent baskets of fragments, and the supernaturally- methods of feeding. The Lion thus retorts : : replenished cup of old Baucis : and be — "Savage I am; but no creature can be thankful that their more phlegmatic stomachs, called cruel but what either by malice or not their virtue, have saved them from the insensibility extinguishes his natural pity.' like reproaches. I do not see that any of The Lion was born without compassion ; we them desist from eating till the holy rage of follow the instinct of our nature ; the gods hunger, as some one calls it, is supplied. have appointed us to live upon the waste ! Alas! I am doomed to stop short of that and spoil of other animals, and as long as continence.
we can meet with dead ones, we never hunt What am I to do? I am by disposition after the living ; 'tis only man, mischievous inclined to conviviality and the social meal. man, that can make death a sport. Nature I am no gourmand : I require no dainties: I taught your stomach to crave nothing but should despise the board of Heliogabalus, vegetables.—(Under favour of the Lion, if he
meant to assert this universally of mankind, Rather let me say, that to the satisfaction it is not true. However, what he says of that talent which was given me, I have presently is very sensible.)— Your violent been content to sacrifice no common expectfondness to change, and greater eagerness ations ; for such I had from an old lady, a after novelties, have prompted you to the near relation of our family in whose good destruction of animals without justice or graces I had the fortune to stand, till one necessity. The Lion has a ferment within fatal evening You have seen, Mr. him, that consumes the toughest skin and Reflector, if you have ever passed your time hardest bones, as well as the flesh of all much in country towns, the kind of suppers animals, without exception. Your squeamish which elderly ladies in those places have stomach, in which the digestive heat is weak lying in petto in an adjoining parlour, next and inconsiderable, won't so much as admit to that where they are entertaining their of the most tender parts of them, unless ' periodically-invited coevals with cards and above half the concoction has been performed muffins. The cloth is usually spread some by artificial fire beforehand; and yet what half-hour before the final rubber is decided, animal have you sparer, to satisfy the whence they adjourn to sup upon what may caprices of a languid appetite? Languid, I emphatically be called nothing ;-a sliver of say; for what is man's hunger if compared ham, purposely contrived to be transparent with the Lion's? Yours, when it is at the to show the china-dish through it, neighworst, makes you faint ; mine makes me bouring a slip of invisible brawn, which mad: oft have I tried with roots and herbs abuts upon something they call a tartlet, as to allay the violence of it, but in vain ; that is bravely supported by an atom of nothing but large quantities of flesh can any marmalade, flanked in its turn by a grain of ways appease it.”—Anwing for the Lion potted beef, with a power of such dishlings, not having a prophetic instinct to take in minims of hospitality, spread in defiance of every lusus nature that was possible of the human nature, or rather with an utter human appetite, he was, generally speaking, ignorance of what it demands. Being engaged in the right ; and the Merchant was so at one of these card-parties, I was obliged to impressed with his argument that, we are go a little before supper time (as they facetold, he replied not, but fainted away. O, tiously called the point of time in which Mr. Reflector, that I were not obliged to they are taking these shadowy refections), add, that the creature who thus argues was and the old lady, with a sort of fear shining but a type of me! Miserable man! I am through the smile of courteous hospitality that Lion! “Oft have I tried with roots that beamed in her countenance, begged me and herbs to allay that violence, but in vain ; to step into the next room and take somenothing but -"
thing before I went out in the cold, Those tales which are renewed as often as proposal which lay not in my nature to deny. the editors of papers want to fill up a space Indignant at the airy prospect I saw before in their unfeeling columns, of great eaters,— me, I set to, and in a trice despatched the people that devour whole geese and legs of whole meal intended for eleven persons mutton for wagers,—are sometimes attempted fish, flesh, fowl, pastry,—to the sprigs of to be drawn to a parallel with my case. garnishing parsley, and the last fearful This wilful confounding of motives and custard that quaked upon the board. I need circumstances, which make all the difference not describe the consternation, when in due of moral or immoral in actions, just suits the time the dowagers adjourned from their sort of talent which some of my acquaintance cards. Where was the supper ?—and the pride themselves upon. Wagers !—I thank servants' answer, Mr. · had eat it all. Heaven, I was never mercenary, nor could – That freak, however, jested me out of a consent to prostitute a gift (though but a good three hundred pounds a year, which I left-handed one) of nature, to the enlarging afterwards was informed for a certainty the of my worldly substance ; prudent as the old lady meant to leave me. I mention it necessities, which that fatal gift have involved not in illustration of the unhappy faculty me in, might have made such a prostitution which I am possessed of; for any unlucky to appear in the eyes of an indelicate world. wag of a schoolboy, with a tolerable appetite,