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try the same as ever, when they picked out two famous Englishmen, Thomas Pain and the Birmingham doctor, to sit in their new assembly, and assist them in the work of teaching John Bull to eat revolution-soup, dished up with human flesh and French pot-herbs ? I love liberty with law, such as we have in England, as well as any body does; but that liberty without law, which makes men eat one another, can come only from the devil, who would eat us all. I thought those frightful stories that came from France were past belief : but a gentleman of our county, who was there last summer, says he will take his Bible oath before any justice, that he saw the blood of people they had killed run out of the mouths of their murders.--When they had shut up three hundred and fifty poor helpless priests in in a pound, and were putting them to death as one would kill hogs for the navy, an English gentleman was walking along the street, and heard a soldier say, as the muskets were firing in that bloody massacre, “ Aha! “ they are showing the priests fine sport there." A man will stand at his door, and see his next neighbour dragged out of his house, to have
his throat cut by villains in the street, and take - no more notice, than if the parish officers had called upon the man for a poor's rate or a window tax! When an English gentleman, seeing a raw head carried along, and the corpse shamefully dragged after it, only advised them to bury it, they seized him, and cut off his head and threw it among the mob. This is French liberty, my boy. Our king (God bless him) is contented if a man pulls his hat off: but to these new tyrants of France, he must pull his head off; and even then they are not satisfied : they sell his house and land from his family, and put the money into the purse of the nation, that is of themselves. What think you of an impudent whore of Babylon, rifing along the streets on horseback, at the head of a troop, with a long sword by her side, and pistols in her belt, like the goddess of liberty; and if she did but point with her finger at any person going along the street, his head was off in a moment. There's petticoat government for you! John Bull, “ France and England (says the “ Birmingham doctor, as the representative of “ this kingdom) have now discovered the secret or that it is their interest to be friends.” It may be his interest, and it may be their interest; but it will never be our interest, till Tom Bull turns into Tom Fool, and Englishmen are changed
into a nation of villains. It would, no doubt, be a pleasant sight' to some folks, if we were to pull down King Charles and his horse at Charing Cross, and set up the idol of liberty (that she-devil of the French) for fools to dance about, and sing hymns with Tom of Bedlam for their clerk. This would bring people together ; and when they were together, they would take heat, just as horse-dung does, when it is laid in a heap. This is the use of your liberty trees, popular clubs, and revolution-dinners, &c.
When we talk about kings it reminds me of what happened liere very lately. A man, like a London rider, thrust himself in amongst us at a public house. He talked at a high rate about French liberty, and the tyranny we live under at home, he laughed at the nonsense and blasphemy of kings having authority from Providence : what, said he, are we such fools as to believe that kings are sent down booted and spurred from the clouds to ride mankind ? Some of the company stared at him, and looked as if they felt the spurs in their sides : but, says I, hold a little, Mr. Londoner, you don't put that case quite right. You know, we must all be ridden by somebody ; for we cannot ride upon Gurselves. When a good horse carries a gentle
man, he is as well pleased as his master : but suppose, Mr. Londoner, said I, suppose he should take it into his head to throw his master, that he might be ridden by his equals ! then in that case, you know, Mr. Londoner, he will have a horse upon his back instead of a man ; ay, twenty, or a hundred horses, all clambering upon his back at once, till they break him down, and he is fit for nothing but the dogs. This is my way of understanding liberty and equality. And now, go and ask your Birmingham doctor how much that horse will better himself. This is the way they have bettered themselves in France. They that will not carry a King, shall have the beasts of the people upon their backs; and the poor fools are pleased, because they think it will be their turn to ride next. Every body can see how bad it would be for horses to carry horses ; and it is always the same thing when the people carry the people.
After this Londoner was gone, we found he was one of those fellows who are hired to go about with Toni Pain's books : but he did not think proper to produce them : if he had, we should have put them into a pitch-kettle, and stirred them about well, and then burned the pitch and the books together : this being the
proper end of that black doctrine, which some men put into others to set the world on fire.
And now, Brother John, if you find I am a little better taught than you expected, I will tell you how it happened. Our minister takes us all now and then, rich and poor, to dine with him. One day after dinner, when we had lighted our pipes, and neighbours were talking to one another about common things, he gave a rap upon the table to call our attention, and when he saw we were all ready, he began as follows :
“ MY DEAR FRIENDS, • Wicked people are at work to corrupt your “ ninds with a frantic affection for unlawful “ liberty, by giving false and nonsensical notions “ of civil society. I will therefore show you, “ in a plain way which you can easily under“ stand, the danger to which all governments “ are now exposed from the arts of designing “ people.
66 In countries where they feed their flocks a “ little differently from what we are used to, “ four parties are concerned; the sheep, the “ shepherd, the dogs, and the wolves. Once upon « a time, the wolves wanted to have the sheep