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COME DY OF ERRORS.
Thy substance, valued at the highest rate,
Cannot amount unto a hundred marks ; SOLINUS, Duke of Ephesus.
Therefore, by law thou art condemn'd to die. Ægeon, a merchant of Syracuse.
Æge. Yet this my comfort; when your words are twin brothers, and sons
done, ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, to Ægeon and Æmilia, My woes end likewise with the evening sun. ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse, but unknoun to each Duke. Well, Syracusan, say, in brief, the cause
Why thou departedst from thy native home; DRomio of Ephesus,
twin brothers, and attend. And for what cause thou cam'st to Ephesus. Dromio of Syracuse,
ants on the two Antipho- Æye. A heavier task could not have been impios'd, lus's.
Than I to speak my griefs unspeakable: BALTHAZAR, a merchant.
Yet, that the world may witness, that my end Angelo, a goldsmith.
Was wrought by nature, not by vile offence, A merchant, friend to Antipholus of Syracuse. I'll utter what my sorrow gives me leave. Pinch, a schoolmaster, and a conjurer.
In Syracusa was I born; and wed Æmilia, wife to Ægeon, an Abbess at Ephesus. Unto a woman, happy but for me, ADRIANA, wife to Antipholus of Ephesus.
And by me too, had not our hap been bad. Luciana, her sister.
With her I livd in joy; our wealth increas'd, LUCE, her servant.
By prosperous voyages I often made
To Epidamnum, till my factor's death,
Drew me from kind embracements of my spouse.
From whom my absence was not six months old,
Had made provision for her following me,
And soon, and safe, arrived where I was.
There she had not been long, but she becaine SCENE 1.-A Hull in the Duke's Palace. A joyful mother of two goodly sons ;
And, which was strange, the one so like the other Enler Duke, Ægeon, Gaoler, Officers, and other As could not be distinguish'd but by names. Attendants.
That very hour, and in the self-same inn,
Duke. Merchant of Syracusa, plead no more ; Those, for their parents were exceeding poor,
I bought, and brought up to attend my sons.
My wife, not meanly proud of two such boys,
Gave any tragick instance of our harm : 'Twixt thy seditious countrymen and us,
But longer did we not retain much hope; It hath in solemn synods been decreed,
For what obscured light the heavens did grant Both by the Syracusans and ourselves,
Did but convey unto our fearful minds To admit no traffic to our adverse towns :
A doubtful warrant of immediate death; Nay, more,
Which, though myself would gladly have embracin If any, born at Ephesus, be seen
Yet the incessant weeping of my wife, At any Syracusan marts and fairs,
Weeping before for what she saw must come, Again, If any Syracusan born,
And piteous plainings of the pretty babes, Come to the bay of Ephesus, he dies,
That mourn'à for fashion, ignorant what to fear, His goods confiscate to the duke's dispose; Forc'd me to seek delays for them and me. Unless a thousand marks be levied,
And this it was,- for other means was none. To quit the penalty, and to ransom him.
The sailors sought for safety by our Loat.
Get thee away.
And left the ship, then sinking-ripe, to us : But to our honour's great disparagement
Yet will I favour thee in what I can :
Therefore, merchant, I'll limit thee this day, Such as sea-faring men provide for storms:
To seek thy help by beneficial help! To him one of the other twins was bound,
Try all the friends thou hast in Ephesus : Whilst I had been like heedful of the other.
Beg thou, or borrow, to make up the sum,
And live; if not, then thou art doom'd to die
Gaol. I will, my lord.
SCENE II.-A public Place.
Enter Antipholus and Dromio of Syracuse, and a The seas wax'd calm, and we discovered
Merchant. Two ships from far making amain to us,
Mer. Therefore, give out, you are of Epidamnum, Oi Corinth that, of Epidaurus this:
Lest that your goods too soon be confiscate.
Is apprehended for arrival here;
According to the statute of the town,
There is your money that I had to keep. For, ere the ships could meet by twice five leagues, Ant. S. Go, bear it to the Centaur, where we bost, We were encounter'd by a mighty rock ;
And stay there, Dromio, till I come to thee. Which being violently borne upon,
Within this hour it will be dinner-time : Our helpful ship was splitted in the midst,
Till that, I'll view the manners of the town, So that, in this unjust divorce of us,
Peruse the traders, gaze upon the buildings, Fortune had left to both of us alike
And then return, and sleep within mine inn;
For with long travel I am stiff and weary.
Dro. S. Many a man would take you at your word:
[E.rit Dro. S. By fishermen of Corinth, as we thought.
Ant. S. A trusty villian, sir; that very oft, Ai length another ship had seiz'd on us;
When I am dull with care and melancholy, And, knowing whom it was their hap to save, Lightens my humour with his merry jests. Gave helpful welcome to their shipwreck'd guests ; What, will you walk with me about the town, And would have reft the fishers of their prey, And then go to my inn, and dine with me? Had not their bark been very slow of sail,
Mer. I am invited, sir, to certain merchants, And therefore homeward did they bend their course. Of whom I hope to make much benefit; Thus have you heard me sever'd from my bliss; I crave your pardon. Soon, at five o'clock, That by misfortunes was my life prolong'd, Please you, I'll meet with you upon the mart, To tell sad stories of my owu mishaps.
And afterwards consort you till bed-time; Duke. And, for the sake of them thou sorrowest for, My present business calls me from you now. Do me the favour to dilate at full
Ant. S. Farewell till then; I will go lose myself, What hath befall'n of them, and thee, till now. And wander up and down, to view the city.
Æge. My youngest boy, and yet my eldest care, Mer. Sir, I commend you to your own content. At eighteen years became inquisitive
(Erit Merchant After his brother; and importun'd me,
Ant. S. He that commends me to mine own cop That his attendant, (for his case was like,
tent, Rest of his brother, but retain's his name,)
Commends me to the thing I cannot get. Might bear him company in the quest of him: I to the world am like a drop of water, Whom whilst I labour'd of a love to see,
That in the ocean seeks another drop;
Who, falling there to find his fellow forth,
Enter Dromio of Ephesus.
Here comes the almanack of my true date.-. But here must end, the story of my life;
What now? How chance, thou art return'd so soon? And happy were I in my timely death,
Dro. E. Return'd so soon! rather approach'd tou Could all my travels warrant me they live. Duke. Hapless Ægeon, whom the fates have The capon burns, the pig falls from the spit ;
The clock hath strucken twelve upon the bell, To bear the extremity of dire mishap!
My mistress made it one upon my cheek : Now, trust me, were it not against our laws,
She is so hot, because the meat is cold; Against my crown, my oath, my dignity,
The meat is cold, because you come not home; Which priuces, would they, may not disannul, You come not home, because you have no stomach My soul should sue as advocate for thee.
You have no stomach, having broke your fast; But, though thou art adjudged to the death, But we, that know what 'tis to fast and praw and passed sentence may not be recallid,
Are penitent for your default to-day.
Ant. S. Stop in your wind, sir; tell me this, I Luc. Perhaps, some merchant hath invited him, pray;
And from the mart he's somewhere gone to dinner Where have you left the money that I gave you? Good sister, let us dine, and never fret : Dro. E, 0,—sixpence, that I had o' Wednesday A man is master of his liberty: last,
Time is their master; and, when they see time, To pay the saddler for my mistress' crupper ;- They'll go, or come: If so, be patient, sister. The saddler had it, sir, I kept it not.
Adr. Why should their liberty than ours be more. Ant. S. I am not in a sportive humour now: Luc. Because their business still lies out o'door. Tell me, and dally not, where is the money?
Adr. Look, when I serve him so, he takes it ill. We being strangers here, how dar'st thou trust Luc. O, know, he is the bridle of your will. So great a charge from thine own custody ?
Adr. There's none, but asses, will be bridled so. Dro. E. I pray you, jest, sir, as you sit at dinner: Luc. Why, headstrong liberty is lash'd with woe. I from my mistress come to you in post;
There's nothing, situate under heaven's eye, If I return, I shall be post indeed;
But hath his bound, in earth, in sea, in sky: For she will score your fault upon my pate. The beasts, the fishes, and the winged fowls, Methinks, your maw, like mine, should be your clock, Are their males' subject, and at their controls And strike you home without a messenger.
Men, more divine, the masters of all these, Ant S Come, Dromio, come, these jests are out Lords of the wide world, and wild wat’ry seas, of season;
Indued with intellectual sense and souls, Reserve them till a merrier hour than this:
Of more pre-eminence than fish and fowls, Where is the gold I gave in charge to thee ? Are masters to their females and their lords :
Dro. E. To me, sir ? why you gave no gold to me. Then let your will attend on their accords. Ant. S. Come on, sir knave; have done your Adr. This servitude makes you to keep unwed. foolishness,
Luc. Not this, but troubles of the marriage-bed. And tell me, how thou hast dispos'd thy charge. Adr. But, were you wedded, you would bear some Dro. E. My charge was but to fetch you from the mart
Luc. Ere I learn love, I'll practise to obey. Home to your house, the Phenix, sir, to dinner; Adr. How if your husband start some other where? My mistress, and her sister, stay for you.
Luc. Till he come home again, I would forbear. Ant. S. Now, as I am a christian, answer me, Adr. Patience, unmovid, no marvel though she In what safe place you have bestow'd my money;
pause; Or I shall break that merry sconce of yours, They can be meek, that have no other cause. Chat stands on tricks when I am undispos’d : A wretched soul, bruis'd with adversity, Where is the thousand marks thou hadst of me? We bid be quiet, when we hear it cry; Dro. E. I have some marks of yours upon my But were we burden'd with like weight of pain, pate,
As much, or more, we should ourselves complain : Some of my mistress' marks upon my shoulders, So thou, that hast no unkind mate to grieve thee, But not a thousand marks between you both With urging helpless patience would'st relieve me · If I should pay your worship those again,
But, if thou live to see like right bereft, Perchance, you will not bear them patiently. This fool-begg'd patience in thee will be left. Ant. S. Thy mistress' marks! what mistress, slave, Lue. Well, I will marry one day but to try; hast thou ?
(Phænix; Here comes your man, now is your husband nigh. Dro. E. Your worship’s wife, my mistress at the She that doth fast, till you come home to dinner,
Enter Dromo of Ephesus. And prays, that you will hie you home to dinner. Adr. Say, is your tardy master now at hand ? Ant. $. What, wilt thou flout me thus unto my Dro. E. Nay, he is at two hands with me, a id face,
that my two ears can witness. Being forbid ? There, take you that, sir knave. Adr. Say, didst thou speak with him ? know'st Dro. E. What mean you, sir ? for God's sake,
thou his mind ? hold your hands;
Dro. E. Ay, ay, he told his mind upon mine ear; Nay, an you will not, sir, I'll take my heels. Beshrew his hand, I scarce could understand it.
[Erit. Dro. E.
Luc. Spake he so doubtfully, thou couldst not feel Ant. S. Upon my life, by some device or other, his meaning ? The villain is o'er-raught of all my money.
Dro. E. Nay, he struck so plainly, I could too well They say, this town is full of cozenage;
feel his blows; and withal so doubtfully, that I could As, nimble jugglers, that deceive the eye,
scarce understand them. Dark-working sorcerers, that change the mind, Adr. But say, I pr'ythee, is he coming home ? Soul-killing witches, that deform the body; It seems he hath great care to please his wife. Disguised cheaters, prating mountebanks,
Dro. E. Why, mistress, sure my master is horn And many such like liberties of sin :
mad. If it prove so, I will be gone the sooner.
Adr. Horn-mad, thou villain ? I'll to the Centaur, to go seek this slave;
Dro. E. I mean not cuckold-mad; but, sure, be's I greatly fear, my money is not safe. (Exit.
stark mad :
He ask d me for a thousand marks in gold :
'Tis dinner time, quoth I; My gold, quoth he:
Your meat doth burn, quoth I; My gold, quoth he : SCENE I.-A public Place.
Will you come home ? quoth I; My gold, quoth he: Enter ADRIANA and Luciana.
Where is the thousand marks I gave thee, villain ? Adr. Neither my husband, nor the siave return'd, The pig, quoth I, is burn'd, My gold, quoth he: That in such haste I sent to seek his master! My mistress, sit, quoth I; Hang up thy mistress ; Sure, Luciano, it is two o'clock.
I know not thy mistress ; out on thy mistress !
Luc. Quoth who?
Ant. $. Even now, even here, not half an hour Dro. E. Quoth my master :
Home to the Centaur, with the gold you gave me.
Dro. E. Go back again, and be new beaten home? For which, I hope, thou felt’st I was displeas’d. For God's sake send some other messenger.
Dro. S. I am glad to see you in this merrv vein. Adr. Back, slave, or I will break thy pate across. What means this jest? I pray you, master, tell me. Dro. E. And he will bless that cross with other Ant. S. Yea, dost thou jeer, and flout me in the beating :
teeth? Between you I shall have a holy head.
Thiuk'st thou, I jest? Hold, take thou that, and Adr. Hence, prating peasant; fetch thy master
[Beating him home.
Dro. S. Hold, sir, for God's sake: now your jest Dro. E. Am I so round with you, as you with me,
is earnest : That like a football you do spurn me thus ?
Upon what bargain do you give it me ?
[Exit. Your sauciness will jest upon my love,
Adr. His company must do his minions grace, When the sun shines, let foolish gnats make sport, Whilst I at home starve for a merry look.
But creep in crannies, when he hides his beams. Hath homely age the alluring beauty took
If you will jest with me, know my aspect, From my poor cheek? then he hath wasted it; And fashion your demeanour to my looks, Are my discourses dull ? barren my wit ?
Or I will beat this method in your sconce. If voluble and sharp discourse be marr’d,
Dro. S. Sconce, call you it? so you would leave Unkindness blunts it, more than marble hard. battering, I had rather have it a head: an you use Do their gay vestments his affections bait ?
these blows long, I must get a sconce for my head, That's not my fault, he's master of my state. and insconce it too; or else I shall seek my wit in What ruins are in me, that can be found
my shoulders. But, I pray sir, why am I beaten? By him not ruin'd ? then is he the ground
Ant. S. Dost thou not know? Of my defeatures; My decayed fair
Dro. S. Nothing, sir; but that I am beaten. A sunny look of his would soon repair :
Ant. S. Shall I tell you why? But, too unruly deer, he breaks the pale,
Dro. S. Ay, sir, and wherefore; for, they say, Aad feeds from home; poor I am but his stale. every why hath a wherefore.
(wherefore, Luc. Self-harming jealousy !-fye, beat it hence. Ant. S. Why, first--for flouting me; and then, Adr. Unfeeling fools can with such wrongs dis For urging it the second time to me. (season ? pense.
Dro. S. Was there ever any man thus beaten out 3f I know his eye doth homage otherwhere;
When, in the why, and the wherefore, is neither Or else, what lets it but he would be here?
rhyme nor reason? Sister, you know, he promis'd me a chain ; Well, sir, I thank you. Would that alone, alone he would detain,
Ant. S. Thank me, sir? for what?. So he would keep fair quarter with his bed !
Dro. S. Marry, sir, for this something that you I see, the jewel best enamelled,
gave me for nothing. Will lose his beauty; and though gold ’bides still, Ant. S. I'll make you amends next, to give you That others touch, yet often touching will
nothing for something. But, say, sir, is it dinnerWear gold; and so no man that hath a name, time?
[have. But falsehood and corruption doth it shame.
Dro. S. No, sir? I think, the meat wants that I Since that my beauty cannot please his eye,
Ant. S. In good time, sir, what's that ?
Dro. S. Basting.
(Exeunt. Dro. S. If it be, sir, I pray you eat none of it.
Ant. S. Your reason ?
Dro. S. Lest it make you cholerick, and purchase
me another dry başting.
There's a time for all things. Is wander'd forth, in care to seek me out.
Dro. S. I durst have denied that, before you were By computation, and mine host's report,
so cholerick. I could not speak with Dromio, since at first
Ant. S. By what rule, sir?
bald pate of father Time himself.
Ant. S. Let's hear it.
hair, that grows bald by nature.
Ant. S. Why is Time such a niggard of hair, being
Dro. $. Because it is a blessing that he hestons
on beasts: and what he hath scanted men in hair, he As strange unto your town, as to your talk; hath given them in wit.
Who, every word by all my wit being scannid, Ant. S. Why, but there's many a man hath more Want wit in all one word to understand. (you hair than wit.
Luc. Fye, brother! how the world is chang'd with Dro. $. Not a man of those, but he hath the wit When were you wont to use my sister thus ? to lose his hair.
She sent for you by Dromio home to dinner. Ant. S Why, thou didst conclude hairy men plain Ant. S. By Dromio ? dealers without wit.
Dro. S. By me?
[him,Dro. S. The plainer dealer, the sooner lost: Yet Adr. By thee; and this thou didst return from he loseth it in a kind of jollity.
That he did buffet thee, and, in his blows Ant. S. For what reason ?
Denied my house for his, me for his wife. Dro. S. For two; and sound ones too.
Ant. S. 'Did you converse, sir, with this gentleAnt. S. Nay, not sound, I pray you.
woman? Dro. S Sure ones then.
What is the course and drift of your compact ? Ani. S. Nay, not sure, in a thing falsing.
Dro. S I, sir? I never saw her till this time. Dro S. Certain ones then.
Ant. S. Villain, thou liest; for even her very Ant S. Name them.
words Dro. S. The one, to save the money that he spends Didst thou deliver to me on the mart. in tiring; the other, that at dinner they should not Dro. S. I never spake with her in all my life. drop in his porridge.
Ant. S. How can she thus then call us by our Ant. S. You would all this time have proved, there
names, is no time for all things.
Unless it be by inspiration ? Dro. S. Marry, and did, sir; namely, no time to Adr. How ill agrecs it with your gravity, recover hair lost by nature.
To counterfeit thus grossly with your slave, Ant. S. But your reason was not substantial, why Abetting him to thwart me in my mood ? there is no time to recover.
Be it my wrong, you are from me exempt, Dro. S. Thus I mend it: Time himself is bald, But wrong not that wrong with a more contempt. and therefore, to the world's end, will have bald fol. Come, I will fasten on this sleeve of thine: lowers.
Thou art an elm, my husband, I, a vine; Ant. S. I knew, 'twould be a bald conclusion : Whose weakness, married to thy stronger state, But soft! who wafts us yonder?
Makes me with thy strength to communicate:
If aught possess thee from me, it is dross,
Usurping ivy, briar, or idle moss;
Ant. S. To me she speaks; she moves me for her The time was once, when thou unurg'd would'st vow
theme: That never words were musick to thine ear, What, was I married to her in my dream? That never object pleasing in thine eye,
Or sleep I now, and think I hear all this? That never touch well-welcome to thy hand, What error drives our eyes and ears amiss ? That never meat sweet-savour'd in thy taste, Until I know this sure uncertainty, Unless I spake, look'd, touch'd, or carv'd to thee I'll entertain the offer'd fallacy. How comes it now, my husband, oh, how comes it, Luc. Dromio, go bid the servants spread for dinner That thou art then estranged from thyself?
Dro. S. O, for my beads! I cross me for a sinner. Thyself I call it, being strange to me.
This is the fairy land;—0, spite of spites ! That undividable, incorporate,
We talk with goblins, owls, and elfish sprites; Am better than thy dear self's better part.
If we obey them not, this will ensue, Ah, do not tear away thyself from mc;
They'll suck our breath, or pinch us black and blue For know, my love, as easy may'st thou fall
Luc. Why prat’st thou to thyself, and answer'st A drop of water in the breaking gulph,
not? And take unmingled thence that drop again, Dromio, thou drone, thou snail, thou slug, thou sot! Without addition, or diminishing,
Dro. S. I am transformed, master, am not I ? As take from me thyself, and not me too.
Ant. S. I think, thou art, in mind, and so am I. How dearly would it touch thee to the quick,
Dro. S. Nay, master, both in mind, and in my Should'st thou but hear I were licentious ?
shape, And that this body, consecrate to thee,
Ant. S. Thou hast thine own form. By ruffian lust should be contaminate?
No, I am an ape Would'st thou not spit at me, and spurn at me, Luc. If thou art chang'd to aught, 'tis to an ass. And hurl the name of husband in my face,
Dro. S. 'Tis true; she rides me, and I long for And tear the stain'd skin off my harlot brow,
grass. And from my false hand cut the wedding ring, 'Tis so, I am an ass; else it could never be, And break it with a deep-divorcing vow?
But I should know her as well as she knows me. I know thou canst; and therefore, see, thou do it. Adr. Come, come, no longer will I be a fool, I am possess'd with an adulterate blot;
To put the finger in the eye and weep, My blood is mingled with the crime of lust. Whilst man, and master, laugh my woes to scorn. For, if we two be one, and thou play false,
Come, sir, to dinner; Dromio, keep the gate:I do digest the poison of thy flesh.
Husband, I'll dine above with you to-day, Being strumpeted by thy contagion.
And shrive you of a thousand idle pranks: Keep then fair league and truce with thy true bed; Sirrah, if any ask you for your master I live dis-stain'd, thou, undishonoured." (not: Say, he dines forth, and let no oreature enter.
Ant. S. Plead you to me, fair dame? I know you Come, sister :-Dromio, play the porter well. In Ephesis I am but two hours olu,
Ant. A1 in carth, in heave, or in hell?