Sancho. Friendly! go on. [Speaks with his mouth full.]

Gard. But not contented with that, he took the opportunity of my absence to make free with the rest-so I thought I had no better way of being even with him than by stealing his wife's pheasant.

Taylor. Why, how now, you old rusty pruning knife! you maggot in a peascod! you caterpillar! will you swear your thin-gut wine was Florence?

Gard. That I will; and have here another flask just sent me by the same person.

Sancho. Nay, look you, Snip, take heed of lyingI don't sit here to see justice abused-if it be really Florence, look to it-[tastes it] it is, [again] sure I can't be mistaken.

Gard. Believe me, sir, it is real Florence.

Sancho. It is, indeed!-And are these things fitting for taylors and gardeners?-fat pheasants and rich wines! -And, you knaves, both, since you have made a practice, by your own confessions, of stealing from one another, 'tis plain each of you keeps a house to encourage thievery, and-by-and by will steal from others; I therefore condemn them both to pay ten ducats a piece to the poor, and give security for their good behaviour.-Not a word, take 'em hence. [Exeunt Gardener, Taylor, &c.

Enter MANUEL and PEDRO.

Ped. Oh! disgrace to authority! My Lord Governor feasting in a court of justice!

Sancho. Justice! yes, justice! Why not?-I must do myself justice if you won't. With his mouth full.] Ped. Instantly remove the remains of that pheasant. Sancho. For your lives, don't touch it.

Ped. A most sumptuous banquet, my lord, at this moment awaits you.

Sancho. Is it ready?

Man. It only waits your coming.

Sancho. Then take away the pheasant, and break up the court. This little whet before dinner has only given a keener edge to my appetite.

Cryer. Here's a sheep-stealer and a coiner yet, whose trials stand over for to-day,

Sacho. They must wait till another time.

Cryer. That's against all rule of court. Something must be done with them.

Sancho. Then pillor the coiner, and transport the sheep-stealer; for I hava't time to hang any body till to[Exeunt

morrow.

SCENE III. An Apartment.

Enter TERESA and MARY, full dressed.

Mary. Dear heart! I am so fine I hardly know myself. [Surveying herself all round.] Do, mother, put your hand upon my heart, it springs like a bird in my breast with joy. Rare times! what a power of handsome men are here at court ;--then, they are all so well dressed, and grin so pretty to shew their white teeth, and smell so sweet!

Teresa. You must now, Mary, leave off all your rompish tricks that you used to have in the country; you must not, if you see a mule tied to a hedge, bounce upon his back, and ride about the country like a mad thing.

Mary. Let me alone, mother, I have had my lesson; I know what's what, I warrant you.-A fine gentleman, they call the Master-of-the ceremonies, was with me above an hour, teaching the manners of the high ton; he told me I did not know what to do with one feature in my face; but he has taught me to glance, and to ogle, and to simper; for I must never laugh as long as I live, for fear of spoiling the shape of my mouth.

Ter. The same gentleman has been with me, Mary, and has been teaching me all the fashionable games; I now understand quarille, and homer, and cricket.

Mary. I see plain enough, mother, that dress is every thing; Fine feathers make fine birds. And I can tell you, I should like to meet Dick the miller now, that used to be in my way coming from church of a Sunday; I'd soon

let him know that I was become a lady, and above such trumpery fellows.

Ter. Yes, Mary, and if he attempted to come near you, turn up your nose politely, and cry, Paws off, Cæsar! Mary. Yes, and I'd tell him if he did not know good manners I did.

Enter MANUEL.

Man. I am come, ladies, to have the honour of conducting you to dinner.

Mary. Dinner! why, how's that? mother and I have done nothing but eat all the morning.-But, Mr. Master-of-the-Horse, do governors' wives and daughters make every day holyday like this?

Mun. This day, my lady, will every year be marked with great and particular rejoicings, in commemoration of your noble father being invested with authority.

Mary. Oh! it will, in commisseration of my noble father being investigated with authority!-dear heart, what fine hard words he uses.

Ter. Now, Lady Mary, consider where you are going-don't listen to every gay spark who'll tell you a fine story; if you should commit a fox's paw, we shall be all ruin'd in the full senate of our glory.

[Exeunt, led off by Manuel.

SCENE IV. A grand Apartment.

Two Tables: one covered for dinner, at which TEREsa and MARY are to take their seats; Sancho's table only covered with a cloth, state chair for him. Trumpets. SANCHO discovered, &c.

Alonzo. It is the custom, my lord, in this island that the viceroy's lady dine first, at least of one course; then the governor's table is served.

Sancho. Here, then, I find, The grey mare is the better horse.

Enter TERESA, attended.

Come, come, lady wife, pr'ythee make haste; they tell me it is the custom that I should wait till you have done.

Ter. And an excellent custom it is.

Sancho. Excellent as it is, my teeth water most grievously to break it.

Ter. But, hey day!

Where is the lady wench? She's at her romps I'll lay a wager. Some of the court go seek her.

Lady. She is here, my lady.

Enter MARY, running.

Mary. Never trust me, if they are not at it!-[Gentleman Usher offering his hand.] Pr'ythee keep your hands to yourself; do you think I don't know the way to my mouth? By your leave, good people. [Taking her place.]

Lady. Shall I help you, miss, to a wing of this cramm'd chick?

Mary. Yes, and the breast with it, if you please.— I'm like all fools, I like what's good.

Sancho. Pr'ythee, lady daughter, hold thy tongue, and make haste with thy dinner.

Mary. Hay! what father!-How I love him!

So

fine he is; he looks like one of the great men they call judges, that used to ride through our town.

Ter. A cup of wine.

Alonzo. The lady governess is going to drink.

Ter. Ah! bless thee, dear governor!

[Trumpets.

[Impatiently.

Sancho. Thank ye, thank ye-crooked rib of mine.

-O dear! O dear!

Lady. Lady Mary, you pick like a sparrow.

Lord. Lady Mary, perhaps, lives upon love.

Mary. Always on love and lumps of the cupboard.

[Music plays during the dinner, ceasing occasionally for conversation.]

Ter. I believe we have had enough of these things.

Trumpets. Second course brought in, and Servants

enter and cover Sancho's table.

Sancho. Turn about is fair play. So, I suppose, now I may begin?

Alonzo. As soon as your physician comes.

Sancho. My physician! And, pray, now, what business has he here? I don't want physic-I want foodkitchen physic, if you please.

Alonzo. But, my lord, so many of your predecessors having been poisoned by the cooks, the Duke has appointed a Physician-in-ordinary to inspect and determine what is proper or noxious to the constitution.

Enter PEDRO as Physician.

San. Your servant, doctor.-For a wonder, I am glad to see a physician come into the house. Now to work; dear heart! how nice it all looks! Come, Two hands in a dish and one in a purse. [Preparing to eat, attendant puts a large cloth under Sancho's chin.] A rare turkey I see there--put him up this way.

[Pedro touches a dish with a wand, servant removes it.]

San. What are you at?

Pedro. By no means, 'tis hot.

San. Hot! to be sure it is. Would you have me wait till 'tis cold?

Pedro. I say, 'tis hot, inflammatory, and corroding, the flesh pernicious to your constitution. My Lord, I am stipended in this island to take care of its governors, and to prescribe a diet proper for them.

San. Why then, hand up that roasted pig-I'm sure that is as innocent as any thing can be.

Pedro. Horrible! the cook has sent it up quite raw; you should not touch it for the world.-Traitor! the rogue ought to be hang'd; he'll poison the governor in two days.

San. Poison him! I think he's more in danger of starving. But, doctor, to end the dispute, take a sure vey of the whole table, and whichever dish you think