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let him know that I was become a lady, and above such trumpery fellows.
Ter. Yes, Mary, and if he attempted to come near you, turn up your nose politely, and cry, Paws off, Cæsar!
Mary. Yes, and I'd tell him if he did not know good mauners I did.
Man. I am come, ladies, to have the honour of conducting you to dinner.
Mary. Dinner! why, how's that? mother and I have done nothing but eat all the morning.-But, Mr. Master-of-the-Horse, do governors' wives and daughters make every day holyday like this?
Mun. This day, my lady, will every year be marked with great and particular rejoicings, in commemoration of your noble father being invested with authority.
Mary. Oh! it will, in commisseration of my noble father being investigated with authority !-dear heart, what fine hard words he uses.
Ter. Now, Lady Mary, consider where you are going-don't listen to every gay spark who'll tell you a fine story; if you should commit a fox's paw, we shall be all ruin'd in the full senate of our glory.
[Exeunt, led off by Manuel.
SCENE IV. A grand Apartment.
Two Tables : one covered for dinner, at which TERESA
and Mary are to take their seats ; Sancho's table only covered with a cloth, state chair for him. Trumpets. Sancho discovered, &c.
Alonzo. It is the custom, my lord, in this island that the viceroy's lady dine first, at least of one course; then the governor's table is served.
Sancho. Here, then, I find, The grey mare is the better horse.
Enter TERESA, attended. Come, come, lady wife, pr’ythee make haste; they tell me it is the custom that I should wait till you have done.
Ter. And an excellent custom it is.
Sancho. Excellent as it is, my teeth water most grievously to break it.
Ter. But, hey day! Where is the lady wench? She's at her romps I'll lay a wager. Some of the court
go seek her.
Lady. She is here, my lady.
Enter Mary, running. Mary. Never trust me, if they are not at it!-[Gentlemun Usher offering his hand.] Prythee keep your hands to yourself; do you think I don't know the way to my mouth? By your leave, good people. [Taking her place.]
Lady. Shall I help you, miss, to a wing of this cramm’d chick ?
Mary. Yes, and the breast with it, if you please.I'm like all fools, I like what's good.
Sancho. Pr’ythee, lady daughter, hold thy tongue, and make haste with thy dinner.
Mury. Hay! what father!-How I love him ! So fine he is; he looks like one of the great men they call judges, that used to ride through our town.
Ter. A cup of wine.
Mary. Always on love and lumps of the cupboard. [Music plays during the dinner, ceasing occasionally
Trumpets. Second course brought in, and Servants
enter and cover Sancho's table. Sancho. Turn about is fair play.-So, I suppose, now I may begin ?
Alonzo. As soon as your physician comes.
Sancho. My physician ! And, pray, now, what business has he here? I don't want physic-I want foodkitchen physic, if you please.
Alonzo. But, my lord, so many of your predecessors having been poisoned by the cooks, the Duke has appointed a Physician-in-ordinary to inspect and determine what is proper or noxious to the constitution,
Enter Pedro as Physician. San. Your servant, doctor.–For a wonder, I am glad to see a physician come into the house. Now to work ; dear heart! how nice it all looks! Come, Two hands in a dish and one in a purse. [Preparing to eat, attendant puts a large cloth under Sancho's chin.] A rare turkey I see there--put him up this way. [Pedro touches a dish with a wund, servant removes
it.] San. What are you
at? Pedro. By no means, 'tis hot.
San. Hot! to be sure it is. Would you have me wait till’tis cold?
Pedro. I say, 'tis hot, inflammatory, and corroding, the flesh pernicious to your constitution.' My Lord, I am stipended in this island to take care of its governors, and to prescribe a diet proper for them.
San. Why then, hand up that roasted pig- I'm sure that is as innocent as any thing can be.
Pedro. Horrible! the cook has sent it up quite raw ; you should not touch it for the world.Traitor! the rogue ought to be hang'd; he'll poison the governor in two days.
San. Poison him! I think he's more in danger of starving.-But, doctor, to end the dispute, take a sure vey of the whole table, and whichever dish you think will agree with me, let me have my belly full of that, before 'tis whisked away by that magical wand of yours.
Pedro. Our great master Hippocrates, north-star and perpetual guide of pbysic, says in one of his aphorisms, Omnis Saturatio Mala, Perdicis autem pessima*[Pedro points with his ze and to the several dishes on the table as he surveys it] therefore you must not touch these partridges.-- Rabbits are a hairy, furry kind of food, fit only for the frozen stomach of a Laplander; then the onions in which they are șmother'd are perni. cious to the eyes.—This veal must not stay a moment Jonger on the table-Indeed, had it been neither stewed, roasted, boiled, minced, fricasseed, or marinaded, something perhaps might be said for it.
San. Hold! I have hit the nail upon the head at lastyonder I spy a smoking hot dish of Ollu Podrida, a hodge podge, a mixture of all sorts of food; so you can never tell me I shan't there light of something both wholesome and toothsome. Mand it over, hand it over..
Pedro. Absit, absit.
Pedro. Do you consider, my Lord Governor, that I shall have your life to account for?
San. Villain ! you'll have my death to answer for.Dear heart! I'm quite worn out with fatigue and fasting; my tongue's a dried tongue, .and my mouth a piece of parchment.-A cup of wine there.
Pedro. "Tis death till I have first examined and corrected it; let me see the glass.
San. Why, what's to come of me? an't I to drink neither?
Pedro. Not till' I have alsayed the acid quality of the wine, my Lord, and made it fit for your stomach ; you are inclining to a hectic and choler-strong liquors de. stroy the humidum radicale.
Sun. Why, you knavish, unconscionable Paracelsian, what sort of a governor do you think me, not to eat nor drink? But one word; pray what is your name, friend?
* All repletion is bad, but that of partridges worst of all,
Pedro. Sir, I am stiled Doctor Pedro Rezio de Aguero. I am a native of Tirte a fuera, and took my degree in the University of Ossuna.
San. Why then, Doctor Pedro Rezio de Aguero, na. tive of Dirty Furio, and who took your degree in the University of Ossuna, take these plates and dishes at your head; I seize on this fowl, and this bread and bottle, [Snatches up a carving knife] which I will defend to the hour of my death-and you, my good lady and daughter, with the rest that could eat your own dinner and see the governor starv'd, be gone, all, you ungrateful wretches. [They all run off, calling for help; he throwing the
things about, &c.
Enter MESSENGER, hastily. Mess. Arm, arm, my lord, you are not safe a minute ; here's news now come that several thousand Buccaneers, pirates and banditti have enter'd
here's a letter too, sent from the Duke to give you notice of the danger.--You must prepare
defence imme. diately.
San. You know I can't read it,
Alonzo. [Reads] Signior Sancho, I have just learned that certain enemies of mine, and of the island, meditate a desperate and furious assault immediately ; several spies are about your person, with intent to assassinate you; take care of yourself, and the charge committed to you; transmit me word what succours you may want; your danger is great. Your friend the Duke.
Enter PEDRO Pedro. Oh! unfortunate state of this unhappy island; that because of its wealth and fertility, is perpetually plagued with enemies, who bear a mortal spite to all those that rule; those merciless banditti, and Buccaneers, have taken and flayed three or four of our governors already.