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vided for me. Good governors always like good eating, and good citizens always take care to provide such.
Rec. A sumptuous banquet is prepared for your Excellency's table, which will be ready after your public entry into town.
Sun. Come, then, let's be gone.
Ojficer. But how would your Excellency have us dispose of the ass ? San. How soon a great man begins to forget his friends!
-What, Dapple! the companion of all my fastings and drubbings ; forget thee! no, never. I'll have a plate laid for him every day at my own table; and, could he but read and write, I'd make him my secretary
Rec. Such an instance of preferment is not unprecedented; a Roman Emperor made his horse fill one of the highest departments in the state.*
San. He did! Then I tell you what, Mr. Recorder, Dapple shall have the place; and, for the good wishes you seem to entertain for him, you shall do the business as his deputy.
PROCESSION, composed of various Groups of
BARATARIANS with Sancho. Comic music suited to each Group as the Banners appear.
ACT II. SCENE I. An elegant Apartment in the Governor's
Palace. Enter Sancho with a large bundle of petitions under his arm, followed by MANUEL. A Table and Chairs.
Sancho (Throws himself into a chair.) Oh! the fatigues of being a great man! though not two hours a Governor I have my hands full of grievances already slaying down a bundle of papers.] But come, friend, read them over as fast as you can.
* CALIGULA. He ade his fav arite horse high-priest and consul. He was kept in marble apartments, and adorned with the most valuable trappiogs and pearls ihe Roman empire could furnish.
LEMPRIERE's Dici. art. Caligula.
Mun. As there are so many, if I acquaint your Lord. ship with the substance of the principal petitions,* reserving the rest for to-morrow, I fancy it will be suf. ficient.
Sun. You are right-so proceed.
Mun. This, my Lord, is a petition from (takes a paper and looks at it] the Cutlers' company; praying you would revoke the edict issued by your predecessor against dueliing, by which the wearing of swords is become so much out of fashion, that there are above ten thousand journeymen cutlers in your island at this moment starving,
Sun. I'll not revoke the law against duelling; there can't be too many against the practice; I'm a mortal foe to cutting of throats; and a great enemy to starving also.
Man. The next is a petition from the boot-makers of Cordova, earnestly soliciting your Lordship's patronage, and requesting you would wear nothing but boots.-And here is another from the cordwainers of Barataria, enforcing the superiority of shoes, hoping you will wear them only.
Sun. Why, what's to be done in this business? I would fain please all parties, but that's impossible, as the case stands before me.- Suppose I promise to wear boots all the winter, and shoes all the sunmer.
Mun. But then there's the spring and autumn; what do
you intend to wear during those seasons ?
San. In the spring and autumn I'll have a will of my own; they shan't, all the year round, have the length of
Mun. This comes, my Lord, from the manufacturers in wool, intreating your encouragement; and as they have brought that commodity in quality to the finest linen cloth, beg that in future you would wear it in shirts, and thus render the consumption of that article universal.
San. I must confess I have no great opinion of the in
* These petitlons are not in The History of Don Quixote.
vention; but as a good governor should even make a shift to do without a shirt, to please his people,-say their petition is granted.-Well, what is next?
Man. Here is a petition from the opticians, requesting your Lordship would wear spectacles.
San. What, whether I want them or not?
you want them, there is no merit in the'wearing of themyou cannot be too disinterested in your encouragement of trade--besides there is nothing gives the face such an air of wisdom as spectacles; they look like magnifying sky lights; or rather intellectual microscopes, through which sublimer understandings contemplate the little objects of this little world, to nearer advantage.
Sun. Well, as every governor must have his blind side, ours shall be to please our people--so that petition is granted.-But, hark you, I grow impatient: you'll famish me with too much business.
Man. You'll hear the petition, my Lord, from the dealers in mum.
San. Well, let's hear-the dealers in mum can't have
Man. They humbly request your Lordship would substitute mum* for wine at your table. San. Then tell them I won't whilst I have a tongue
or palate to taste, no mum for Sancho--Why, what in the world would they be at ?.
Man. I'll read the next petition to your Lordship.
Sun. I'll hear no more petitions till I have gratified the cravings of a petition from my stomach. I have given up half my senses already ; but I'm determined to retain some at my own disposal--So ho! is the eating put off till to-morrow?
[Going off Enter MESSENGER: Mess. Your Lordship's presenee is required in the courts of justice, to try criminals, and determine civil
Sancho. What, before dinner? impossible-impos*sible!
much to say.
* Ale made with Wheat-Malte
Mess. Remember, that your excellency is sworn faithfully to observe all the long established customs of the island; and those ordain an immediate hearing to the complaints of the injured, and that criminals, on conviction, be punished with all possible speed
San. Nay, if that be the case, I must submit; but all I hang, friend, before dinner, may lay their halters at Mess. Room for the governor !
[Exit with Sancho. Manet Man. You must wait a little longer for dinner than you imagine, my Lord Governor! I shall have a rare detail of adventures to transmit his grace, if we succeed in every particular as hitherto.[Enter Pedro.) How, Pedro, goes on your part of the plot?
Pedro. To admiration!
Pedro. Yes, and would advise thee to take a peep at them, as two of the greatest natural curiosities ever yet exhibited in Spain.
Man. Don't talk to me! I have made a conquest of Mary.
Pedro. And I can assure you, her excellency, Lady Teresa, has looked upon your friend Pedro with so favourable. an eye, that, if she become a widow, h needs not despair of succeeding a governor. Man. But come, let us go hear him as a judge; in the
nt state of his appetite, he'll shew no more mercy to a criminal, than he would to a mess of Olla Podrida.
SCENE II. A Court of Justice. Sancho seated on the Bench; Constable, Cryer, Cus
tom-house Officer, Smuggler, &c. &c. &c. Taylor, Gardener, little Man, stout Woman.
Cryor. O yes! O yes ! let all manner of person or persons, who come not hither for justice, keep silence; and let all those who have any complaints to make speak them boldly; the governor is prepared to hear and redress them.
Sun. He is prepared, as far as hunger will let him ; and though I know my judgment would be clearer upon a full-stomach, l'll try for once how wise fasting will make me! What's the first cause ? A STOUT WOMAN and a Little Man brought
Woman. Oh! my lord, I am an undone woman! this villain here
(Weeps. San. What, that shrimp?
Woman. That ruffian; that Goliah in miniature; with violence, on my way to town, assaulted me, and ruined my character for ever.
San. One story is good till another is told; now, let us hear what our little Gog and Magog has to say for himself.
L. Man, My lord governor, I am the son of my father
L. Man. Who is called Diego,I was sent with fifty pieces in a purse to Terevaria, to pay a debt :- This woman met me, and thinking me not able to defend my property, she attempted to rob me of it—and when I refused to part with it, she wickedly laid this charge against me, and had me brought before your worship.
San. Oh! most atrocious villain! where is your
L. Man. Flere, your honour. [Shers it.]
Sancho. Then, to let you see how much I value honest women—there, take his purse as some consolation for the injury he has done thee and thy character.
L. Man. O, good your honour! if you take hat I am an undone man.
Woman. Blessing on your honour's sweet face!-Oh you are an upright magistrate !
[Exit Woman. L. Man: Oh! I am ruined ; I'm lost! Oh that ever & was born!