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nor blush to own thou com’st of a mean extraction; for, when thou art not ashamed of it thyself, nobody will seek to make thee so.
San. But, then, there will be no occasion to tell the people I was once a hog-driver.-Besides, when I have got the government, and am grown rich, nobody will trouble themselves about what I was; Daub yourself over with honey, and you'll never want flies ;-What a man has, so much he's sure of.
Don Quix. Sancho, you must be cautious not to over. lard thy discourse with a multiplicity of proverbs ; when properly and judiciously used, they enrich and embellish conversation; but thou bringst 'em in so by the head and shoulders, that the purpose is defeated.
San. I believe, Sir, 'tis a disease I shall carry about me as long as I live. I have proverbs enough to fill a large sack; and when I talk, they crowd so thick to my mouth, that they quarrel which shall get out first; so that my tongue is forced to throw them out at random, though nothing to the purpose. But, henceforward, l’lí let none fly out but such as are suitable to the gravity of my place; for where there's plenty, the guest can't be empty–He that cuts does n't deal-His judgment's rare that can spend and spare.
Don Quix. So, so, Sancho !~ The next thing, Sancho, is to be cautious in your choice of officers of trust
; remember, you are but guardian of the people's treasure, and must be careful to chuse honest men.
San. Yes, master; but how am I to know them? After the steed's stol'n 'tis too late to shut the stable door. I intend to act with certainty in this case—and as I am sure my people will not produce any man that's honester than their governor, I will instantly appoint myself, first lord of the treasury of Barataria.
Don Quix. In that case, Sancho, I fear thy people will think thou hast not so much disinterestedness as thou ought'st. Prudently examine what thy income may amount to in a year; then, if thou can’st. afford four. score servants, keep but half, and what would maintain the others, give to the poor,* that their blessings may accompany. thee wherever thou appearest; in the execution of justice, act with strict impartiality; avoid corruption, or the taking of bribes; which is so tempting, that an upstart governor, like thyself, is in great danger of being drawn off his balance by it.
San. Why, then, I am in a very perilous situation; for, to deal plainly, I am afraid my fingers will itch most insufferably to be handling the money. But, Sir, may I not call it a perquisite.?
Don Quix. No, Sancho, good names cannot cure bad things. Take thy just and fair perquisites : but do not, when appointed a protector, turn out a scourge and a tyrant; he flatters himself in vain with hopes of enjoying happiness, in the possession of immense wealth, when obtained at the price of blood, and the tears and sufferings of impoverished provinces; it is true, he may silence his accusers by rich presents, and thus escape the sword of earth-born justice ; but guilt and remorse will poison all his pleasures, and a gnawing fear of something to come will prey upon his vitals.
Sancho. Don't you think, Sir, you have made this bribery business rather a little too long? I'm afraid I shall forget the best part of it.
Bishop Horne concludes his Sermon intitled Charity recommended on its true motive, with the following admirable sentence : " Spare something in the magnificence of your houses, and style of " living, in the splendour of your furniture, the costliness of your
apparel, the luxury of your tables, and your visits to public " places; but in your charity spare nothing. On the receipt of
your incomes, set aside immediately some certain portion for this purpose. When objects offer, there will be a fund to draw upon :
you will give cheerfully, and without grudging; you will always “ have sometbing to give : and that which is so given will be re“ turned to you, with increase abundant and eternel, when, in the « sight of assembled nations, and all the hosts of heaven, she saySing will be verified
in Blessed are the merciful: for they shall “ obtain mercy.” See also his Sermon on the Duty.of Considering the Poor.
The excellent Bishop Wilson set aside first a tenth, then a fifth, a third, and at length the balf, of his revenues, for the poor. See his Life, 8vo. p. 18.
Don Quix. I could be somewhat satirical upon thy parts now, but that I love thee, Sancho, and therefore will desist; besides, to do thee justice, thou art not the first who has had a government he was not beholden to his deserts for.
Sancho. No, nor shan't be last, Sir; for desert, you know, goes somewhat awry in its success, and in a double manner; for, if some were to have their true des serts, they would be princes and governors presently ; and, if others again were to have theirs, we should have a hanging matter of it sometimes.
Don Quir. Well, my dear Sancho, for that saying, thou deservest not only to govern an island, but an empire; walk with gravity, and speak with deliberation; -drink moderately, for drunkenness neither observes a promise, nor keeps a secret ;-eat little at dinner, and less at supper, [Suncho starts] for the stomach is the storehouse whence health is to be imparted to the whole body.-If thou observest these rules, thou wilt be more likely to have thy days long and prosperous; to live beloved by all ;-to preserve thy government peaceable ;and, when the time of thy departure from this world arrives, to have thy children and grand-children, with duteous steps, lamenting, follow thee to the silent tomb. [Sancho yarons violently.] I perceive, my Sancho, thou art weary of my good advice, and I shall lose time in bestowing more rules for thy well doing; therefore, lastly
San. Lastly! I am glad of that with all my heart; but let your lastly have a reasonable end to it, and not rock me to sleep.
Don Quir. Lastly, I say, be vigilant; avoid that horrid drowsiness to which thou art accustom’d. You have been long addicted to much sleep ; now you are a man, you must be ever watchful for the good of your people.
Sun. I don't see any great occasion for that; your kings and princes must sleep as well as other men ;-and then see, master, what a pleasure I shall lose; next to
eating, the greatest. I wonder who it was that first invented this same sleep ; 'tis a rare thing, it covers a man all over like a cloak.
Don Quix. This is all the advice I shall deliver to you at present; if thou takest care to let me hear from thee, hereafter I shall give thee more.
Sancho. I see very well that all you have told me is mighty good, and pat to the purpose; but what am I the better if I can't keep it in my head ;-by to-morrow I shall no more remember all this than the shape of last year's clouds; therefore, pray let me have it in black and white; for though I can't read, I'll get one of my people to hammer it into my noddle; and, as for the disgrace of not writing, I can pretend my hand is lame, and so get my secretary to sign for me; for There's a remedy for every thing but death.
Don Quix. I now shall leave you, Sancho.--I have done my duty in giving thee good and wholesome advice; if thou dost not do the part of a good governor, thine will be the fault, though the shame and discredit will be mine. His Highness has sent for your wife and daughter Mary; prepare yourself to meet them, and wait at the town's end the arrival of your people.--Adieu!
San. Good bye, Sir.-I can but thank ye.You have given me a huge deal of good counsel, if I have but the grace to follow it;—but come, Many ventures make a full freight ;-T'he cudgel that bruises is the thing that contuzes ;-Whether the pitcher hits the stone, or the stone the pitcher, 'tis hard for one of them.-I'll be very complaisant in the beginning, but hold to the end, say I. The cowl does not make the friur, * nor the gown a governor : So, Sir, wishing you soon to be an emperor, we take our leave, to feast and give our islanders a play-day, and meet our spouse, who now must be a lady.
[Exeunt severally. child;
* From the Latin proverb, Cucullus non facit Monachum.
SCENE III. A rural View.
Enter TERESA and Mary. Teresa. Come along, Mary; chear thy good heart,
and since thy father is got to be governor at last, we must learn to be great folks.
Remember we are to take the right hand of all the court-ladies. Sancho has sent word that he has made you a Countess.
Mary. O delightsome! a Countess ! mother; I'm ready to jump out of my skin ;-a Countess ! And, so, won't we ride in our coach ?
Teresa. Our coach and six, child.
Mary. Then, I say, mother, I'll work our coach. man; I'll have riding about enough!
Teresa. Your father is made a governor, and we are made ladies of course.
Mary. And of course, I suppose, I'm to have a waiting maid.
Teresa. Yes, child, and a footman into the bargain.
Mary. A footman! dear heart, that puts me in mind of
my dream. I dreamt last night I was bedizen'd out at such a rate, and looking in a glass; then behind me stood a fine, tall, proper, handsome fellow of a footman; his head as white as snow; a huge lace frill to his shirt, and ruffles down to his knuckles; * it would have done your heart good to have seen them.--Who's this I wonder?
[They stand aside. Enter MANUEL. Manuel. Proteus himself has not assumed a greater variety of shapes than Manuel, to please the humour of the Duke. Here must I wait the arrival of Sancho's sweet spouse, Teresa, and buxom Mary, his daughter, to usher them in state to Barataria. Eh! Why, Capproaching with his hat off] if I am not mistaken, you are, ladies
* This appears to be the dress of an English footman at the time when this Farce was brought out, rather than that of a Spanish servant at the era of Don Quixote, VOL. III.