At the usual hour, the bell for prayer was rung. I was next the old man, he kneeled-" Father, thy will be done," he exclaimed, and paused. Nature would endure no more, his heart was broken, he sunk upon his chair and expired. * * * * Ten years afterwards, I visited the spot. I wandered to the bottom of the water fall, for the season was remarkably dry, and the river, even in the remembrance of the oldest inhabitant, had never been so low. I looked up the chasm and thought on one who, to me, had often described, in the poetry of eloquence, its beauty and its grandeur; but my eye was too closely connected with my heart, it filled with tears, and I retired. What I supposed to be a fragment of crystal near the bottom of the pool attracted my attention, and, although it lay several feet below the surface of the water, I felt an irresistible inclination to possess it. I succeeded, at length, in drawing it towards me. It was the diamond ring, with Mary Seymour's name and my own engraved within its circle, and it is now the only material relic I possess of my happless love! but, often, in my dreams, I wander with her by my side, and memory, cruel memory! still reminds me of the beauty she possessed, animated by the most etherial and heavenly mind. LORD LOVAT TO THE LAIRD OF FOULIS. WE are indebted to a fair correspondent for a copy of the following letter of Lord Lovat. We are also promised an original letter of Robert Burns, from the same contributor: MY DEAR UNKIND LAIRD OF FOULIS,-I hope this will find you and my Dear Miss in perfect health, and my good Friend, Mrs. ; and I sincerely assure you and them of my most affectionate Respects and Best wishes, in which my Son and Daughter, Cluny's wife, join me. I thank God, my Daughter and I are in perfect health, But my son has been ill of fever, these twelve days by-past. Doctor Frazer of Achnagairn waited of him, and laid Blood of, and gave him phissick twice, and now, I thank God, he is past hazard, and Recovering but Sloly. I hope the Earl and Countess of Cromarty will Do me the honour to come and Se me here, next week, ffor this week, my house will be full; ffor the Laird of McLeod, the Laird of McIntosh and his Lady, and Sister, and severell other Gentle men are to be hear, to-morrow, and will stay, at least, this week. Now, my dear Hery, I do assure you I will not forgive you all the Breaches of promise you made me,- * to se me here. If youll not Do me the honour to come with the Earl and Countess, and assist me to do the honours of this little house; for, I think, there is no Laird in Scotland, so much concerned in the ffamily of Lovat, as the Laird of ffoulis. I beg to know if you have any*. by this post, or Last of my dear Sir Robert. He is the man of the whole*. nay, I am most anxious about. I pray God preserve him, and find him safe home, for the good of his ffamily and friends. I think we are in a most horrible Dangerous situation. I pray, God preserve our Country and friends. I long much to see you, and I am as much as any man alive, with unalterable zeal and Respects, My Dear Laird of Foulis, your most obedient, ffaithfull, humble Servant, and most afect. Cousine, BEAUFORT, 4. Oct. 1743.} • Torn or illegible. THE LARGE LOVER. These looks, these tears, these anxious fears, In vain your love express; Already I have lov'd too much, Would I could love thee less. LOVAT. MISCELLANEA. PERSFIELD is situated upon the banks of the river Wye, which divides Gloucestershire from Monmouthshire, and which was formerly the boundary betwixt England and Wales. The general tendency of the river is from north to south, but, about Persfield, it describes, by its course, the letter S, somewhat compressed, so as to reduce its length and increase its width. The grounds of Persfield are lifted high above the bed of the river, shelving, and form the brink of a lofty and steep precipice towards the south-west. To the north stands an immense rock, called Windcliff, the top of which is elevated above the grounds. Proceeding a little further, a view is caught which a painter might call a complete landscape. The grotto, situated at the head of Perse wood, commands a near view of the opposite rocks, magnificent beyond description! Lincolnshire, and part of six other counties, are the pais bas, the low country of Britain, the former bounded on the western part, by a range of elevated land, which, in this humble county, overlooks, as Alps would the ocean, the remaining part. This very extensive tract, from the Scap, to the northern headland, opposite to Hull, presents to the sea, a bow-like, and almost unindented front, so low as to be visible from sea, only at a small distance; and churches, instead of hills, are the only land marks to seamen. We should not experience much pleasure from our own humble abilities and acquirements, if we were always comparing them with the great examples that have been exhibited to the world by others. Fortunately, our vanity keeps those for the most part out of sight, and we perceive nothing but our dear individual merits, which are generally sufficient, in our own estimation, to keep us in good spirits. The youth who pleases his fair acquaintance with a tune on his flute or violin, is as much gratified by their approbation as Handel or Mozart were by the raptures of a crowded theatre; the writer who finds his little literary productions favourably received, in a newspaper or magazine, does not envy the fame of Homer or Shakespeare; and the speaker, whose oration has been applauded at a country meeting, goes home as much delighted as even Demosthenes or Cicero did from the forum of Athens or Rome. We often blame ourselves for not having conducted our affairs, on many past occasions, in a different way, from that in which we did, perceiving, at last, that we might have done much better; but we forget the notions, and circumstances that determine us, and also, that we have acquired information and experience that we did not possess at the time that the cases occurred. If we acted then as we had reason to think was for the best, we must be satisfied with the result. It is useless to vex ourselves with unavailing regrets, and to brood over past misfortunes. The best way is to forget them as far as possible, and benefit by the lessons they have taught us for the future. Mr. Sylvanus Byvan, a quaker, mentioned to Green, author of a poem or two in the last century that, while he was bathing in the river, a waterman saluted him with the usual insult, "a quaker, a quaker, quirl!" He, at the same time, expressed his wonder how his profession could be known whilst he was without his clothes. Green immediately replied, that the waterman might discover him by his swimming against the stream. ORIGINAL POETRY. A SISTER'S LOVE. My Sister's tones-how sweetly they With all its dear and painful thrilling ; A mother's voice, I've heard arise, Sat by my couch, the while I slumber'd; Nor weary hours of watching numbered: Were sweet as bow'rs of Araby A Mother's sigh-a lov'd one's kiss A Father's prayer-seemed nought to this. PAROCHIAL RECORDS OF SCOTLAND. 1st December, 1667.-The Session [Port] has ordained that Andrew Eglich, Andrew Donaldson, go furth and watch the ale houses, that no persons drink in tym of divyn service, and the Minister to nominat the samen to them out of the pulpit; and whosoever shall be found guiltie, after intimation made, shall be punished accordingly, and two of Elders to go Sunday about. The 16th off Febrie, 1668.-After calling on the name of the Lord, the Session has enacted and ordained, that their shall be no drinking after sermon; and those that sell the ale shall sell non after sermun, except of necessitie, and men be thirstie, that they drink only a chopin of Ell, or the man serve persons or strangers that comes out of ither parts. The 23d off Febrie, 1688.-After calling on the name of the Lord, the Session has ordained, that two of the Elders goo furth everie Sunday about, that they let non of the people goo away without a lawful excuse. The Session, to their serious consideration, considered the horrible sins and great abuses that ordinarilie occurs in all places, especially the sin of drunkenness and carrousing on the Lord's day; therefor, the Session has acted and ordained, that no bear nor ell seller, within the paroch, shall sell ell after sermon, except in case of necessitie, folk be thirstie ore fant, they drink a chopin of ell, or those that are sick, or those that are strangers. In the 12th of April, 1668.-The Session, considering the necessity of refforming their own lives and manners, befor they endeavore any such thing amongst others, have ordained, that none of their number shall, after both sermons endit, goe into any ell house, except in case of real necessitie, or for searching, under the pain of twentie shilling Scots, ffor the first tym, this is to be doubled toties quoties. On the 3d of May, 1688.-The said day the Minister did publicklie desire and requested the elders, according to the order of the Session to insist, that no brewer within the paroch should sell no aille to no person except alls much as wold quench the thirst of strangers, or to sick persons, and no to sell no aill to no other person within the paroch, and that under the pain of ten pounds Scots, to be payit be the aill seller, and the person who drink it to be punished as the Session shall think fit. LITERARY INTELLIGENCE. We understand that "The Democrat," a Tale, is in the press. "Travels of an Irish Gentleman in Search of Religion, with Notes by the Editor of Captain Rock's Memoirs," is preparing for publication. It is said, that an author of reputation has become chief proprietor of the " Metropolitan Magazine." The translator of Prince Puckler Muskau's Tour is now translating the Correspondence of Schiller and Goethe. LETTER FROM MEXICO. WE have been for some time in possession of the following extract of a letter from a young friend in Mexico: "I have at last got comfortably settled in this city, after having passed the danger of the sea, and the still greater danger of a land journey from Vera Cruz. I reached this city without any accident happening to me, except an overturn in the diligence, which merely detained me a day on the road. There is not so much risk stopping at Vera Cruz, as folks think in England. This season there has been only one case of vomit or yellow fever, and that not mortal, and some of my friends would rather live there than in Mexico. My fancy, however, does not run that way; for it looks like a place of pestilence, and its black walls and deserted streets, might well be mistaken by a stranger for the abode of death. Every thing here is new, the face of the country, the trees and the flowers, animals, men, that is the native Indians, who are a race more like animals than human beings, but on these topics I have not time to enlarge. I went last night to the opera, and a very fine house it is, there are several good singers. We had a view of all the beauties of the city, and some of them are very beautiful, the only thing that struck me particularly, was, many ladies with their cigars in their mouths smoking, this I can hardly call an improvement to the theatre. Fresh pro My voyage, although long, was anything but tedious, every thing that could be done, was done for our comfort. visions till the last day-good Port, Madeira and Claret, and occasionally Champaigne, cheered our spirits, which, I must do them the justice to say, never deserted me. Lieutenant Passingham was as good a sailor, and as complete a gentleman, as ever stepped his Majesty's quarter deck. I spent two very happy days in Jamaica. We arrived on the race week at Kingston, and therefore had a good view of the natives. The scenery in the neighbourhood of Kingston is splendid. I went to one estate the Constant Spring,' and, it being crop time, I saw the whole process of making sugar and rum. I would be well content to live in Jamaica. In the Gulph we had some tremendous gales, and shocking dirty weather-at times scudding before it with bare poles, at others lying to with close-reefed topsails only. The packet, however, was beautifully navigated, and we always made land within a mile of our reckoning." ་ ODDS AND ENDS. wore SHOES.-In the reign of Henry IV. the fashionables long-pointed shoes to such an immoderate length, that they could not walk till they were fastened to their knees with chains. Luxury improving on this ridiculous mode, these chains, the English beau of the fourteenth century had made of gold and silver; but the grotesque fashion did not finish here; for the tops of their shoes were carved in the manner of a church window. GROANING AND CRYING.-A French surgeon lately published a long dissertation on the beneficial influence of groaning and cry. ing on the nervous system. He contends that groaning and crying are the two grand operations by which nature allays anguish; and that he has uniformly observed that those patients who give way to their natural feelings, more speedily recover from accidents and operations, than those who suppose that it is unworthy a man to betray such symptoms of cowardice as either to groan or to cry. He is always pleased by the crying and violent roaring of a patient during the time he is undergoing a severe surgical operation, because he is satisfied that he will thereby so soothe his nervous system, as to prevent fever, and ensure a favourable termination. From the benefit hysterical and other nervous patients derive from crying or groaning, he supposes that "by these processes of nature, the super-abundant nervous power is exhausted, and that the nervous system is in consequence rendered calm, and even the circulation of the blood greatly diminished." He relates a case of a man, who, by means of crying and bawling, reduced his pulse from 120 to 60 in the course of two hours. That some patients often have a great satisfaction in groaning, and that hysterical patients often experience great relief from crying, are facts which no person will deny. As to restless hypochondrical subjects, or those who are never happy but when they are under some course of medical or dietetic treatment, the French surgeon assures them that they cannot do better than groan all night and cry all day. By following this rule, and observing an abstemious diet, a person will effectually escape disease, and may prolong life to an incredible extent! Lord Kaimes appeared one day, upon the Scotch circuit, to be rather hurried upon the trial of a convict, when he was informed that dinner was ready. The criminal being found guilty, he said to a lively and eloquent advocate, "come, Harry, let us go to dinner.' "Aye, my lord," replied the advocate, “and your lordship shall have blood pudding for your dinner." A monk of the 12th century describes a strange act of devotion. When the saints did not readily comply with the prayers of their votaries, they flogged their relics with rods, in a spirit of impatience, which they conceived was proper to make them bend into compliance. NOTICES TO CORRESPONDENTS. "GLASGOW PUNCH," or Pulinello in Glasgow, will appear in a day or two. Giovanni is informed, that his reply to the "Biblical Query" has been in type for some time, but a press of matter has hitherto prevented its insertion. "Summer Flowers" cannot blossom in "The Day." We decline the "Sketch of a Sermon." PUBLISHED, every Morning, Sunday excepted, by JOHN FINLAY, at No. 9, Miller Street; and Sold by JOHN WYLIE, 97, Argyle Street; DAVID ROBERTSON, and W. R. M'PHUN, Glasgow; THOMAS STEVENSON, and the other Booksellers, Edinburgh: DaVID DICK, and A. GARDNER, Booksellers, Paisley: A. LAING, Greenock; and J. GLASS, Bookseller, Rothsay. PRINTED BY JOHN GRAHAM, MELVILLE PLACE. THE DAY. A MORNING JOURNAL OF LITERATURE, FINE ARTS, FASHION, &c. CARPE DIEM. GLASGOW, THURSDAY, APRIL 26, 1832. THE VICISSITUDES OF A BILL. (Written by Itself.) "One man, in his time, plays many parts." AS YOU LIKE IT. I NEED not occupy my reader's time by dilating on the various transmigrations to which I have been exposed; for, like the butterfly, I have repeatedly passed from one state to another. Neither need I dilate on the occurrences of my early and infant days, but content myself with simply remarking that I bore, at one time, a close relationship to the Linen family, and that, my parents neither being very rich, nor very poor, I commenced my career by being part of the linen establishment of a respectable merchant in the West India trade. The precise capacity, however, in which I served him, I cannot, at this distance of time, positively say, but I remember well, that my employer having one morning called me "thread bare, yellow and worn out," I felt desperately offended, and resolved to bid him good bye, and to seek another master, elsewhere. At this time, I was a very young man, and it being impossible to put "an old head on young shoulders,' I was, like the most of young persons, very easily nettled and offended. I soon regretted, however, that I had relinquished my situation. I found that, once out of employment, it was no easy matter to get into it again; and, I almost blush to say that, from being the servant of a spruce West India merchant, I descended so low, as to become the entire property of a common ragman, by whom I was much disfigured, and by whom, in the language of the critics, I was much "cut up." Truth, also, forces me to observe, that, while in this person's possession, I was obliged to mingle with very bad company. Not unfrequently, I was huddled up, for weeks and months together, in very small travelling apartments, with all sorts of individuals, in the lowest grades of the cloth and rag business. After travelling the country, in this most miserable situation, the day of deliverance, thank heaven, at length arrived; for, one summer afternoon, I, and certain of my most respectable associates, were thrown down, at a country paper mill, where for a time, I enjoyed, at least, pure air, and civil treatment. I was not long there, however, until I underwent one of those transmigrations to which I have alluded. After having every bone in my body beat to a jelly, and every limb torn asunder, I was so changed, that I was enabled to bid adieu, for ever, to the linen trade, in which I had suffered so much, and to assume that of paper, which was clearly far more respectable and important. Indeed, my status, in the latter business, stood so high, and my appearance was so elegant and genteel, that I was considered fit for being stamped, and taken into the king's service, and, after going through another small process of being "cut up," I was stamped accordingly, and ever afterwards, styled, a "bill stamp." Behold me now, in the pay of government, at peace with my superiors in office, enjoying my repose, my ease, my otium cum dignitate. I looked back, with horror, at the miseries I had experienced, and, when I contrasted my past, with my present situation, I could not help exclaiming, in the fullness of my heart, "If it were now to die, 'Twere now to be most bappy." But, alas while I was indulging myself in these soothing reflections, a thundering rap came to my master's door, when a lusty fellow of a farmer, throwing down a few paltry shillings, demanded a bill stamp. I heard the insolent demand, and heeded it not, but my employer pricked up his ears, and putting the money into his purse, he, who had always before, been kind and civil, at once seized me rudely by the neck, and, without a single parting embrace, handed me to the farmer, who, crumbling me together, in his large vulgar hand, thrust me into the pocket of his inexpressibles. My surprise and mortification at this rude treatment, so sudden, and so unexpected, can be more easily conceived than described. Although, in the midst of my distress and agony, I cried aloud for explanation, and for relief, yet, my cries were heard not, while the farmer continued, every now and then, to toss me up and down, in his pocket, until at length, breathless and worn out, he pulled me forth, and threw me upon a table, where I lay, in the greatest bodily pain. In a little time, however, I came to my senses, and was able to cast my eyes around, when I discovered the farmer, and two or three better-dressed persons, in rather an angry discussion. In the midst of it, and taking advantage of a gust of wind, I endeavoured to be off, by flying over the window, but the farmer seized me, with the strength and agility of a lion, and gave me such a twist, as made me bawl most lustily for mercy. In the depth of my distress, I prayed, with all the fervour of my heart, for immediate death; but my prayer was interrupted by one of the persons present, taking me by the hand, and gently inditing certain expressions upon my 66 snow-white skin," to which the former adhibited his name. This being done, he took his departure, at which I rejoiced, exceedingly; for, although my appearance, previously, so pure, and so undefiled, was now disfigured and deformed, still, all this, I was willing to bear, rather than have the rude grasps, and the rough usage of such a monster. I was now a written bill stamp, drawn and accepted, and, in a very short time, I learned that my new proprietor was a person who spent the most of his time with jockeys, horses and dogs, who drank hard, who spent hard, who lived hard, and who drove a large business in the bill trade. I soon discovered, too, that I was deemed of very considerable value; for I was carried to the bank, and presented for discount. After rubbing shoulders with other bills, of all sorts and sizes, good, bad, and indifferent, I was, however, returned, as not being precisely suitable, which, at that time, I did not very well know, whether to consider as an honour, or as an affront. My master held out his hand, and took me back, nodding and laughing, saying "that it did not at all signify," although I could easily see he felt disappointed, while I was satisfied, that a man whose bill was refused at bank was as bad as he who could not pay it. But, there is never pain without pleasure,, and my master, to drown his disappointment, and "to drive dull care away," went, in the evening, to see some "fine social fellows ;" and, having there lost a trifle at play, he handed me over, as a security that it would be paid. The gentleman who received me, possessed the most accomplished manners. He knew every man in town disposed to play, and his object and aim, through life, was prudently to put money in his purse-whether by fair or false means, was all one to him. If he was not a sharper, he was, at least, a sharp fellow, and, as he preferred sovereigns to bills, he took an early opportunity of passing me into the hands of a female friend, for so much gold, while she, honest soul, passed me to her wine merchant, who again passed me to his banker. At all these passes, I received the burden of a name on my back, and I was now so loaded, that I was unable to walk easily, firm or erect, under my huge burden. All this occurred in about ten days after I had left my old friend, the farmer, and, as my term of endurance was "six months after date,” I now looked forward to repose, for the remainder of that period. But, in this pleasant expectation I was cruelly disappointed; for I had not remained quietly in the hands of the Banker, for more than two weeks, until my last indorser cried a halt in business. Very anxious enquiries were then made after me, by a host of attornies and accountants, who had all entered into a keen canvass for the power of managing, or mismanaging, the affairs of "the said last endorser." The Banker, accordingly, took me forth. He turned me up and down, side ways, front ways and back ways, and enquired about every one, whose name I bore, and then he gave me a toss from him, remarking, that he was afraid I was " a bad bill." Bad as I was, however, Messrs. Sneak and Flutter, two professional accountants, were very anxious to have my influence in helping them to the pickings of a trusteeship. And, when these persons waited for the Banker, I was trotted out, and all my points examined again and again, when, after much shaking of their learned heads, they all agreed I "was a good vote." The point was, however, who should get me, whether Sneak or Flutter; for they were opposing candidates for the honour of the office, but Sneak, having most influence, (for influence decides everything) the Banker decided for him. Accordingly, under the protection of Mr. Sneak, I made my first appearance at "a meeting of creditors," where I saw a great many persons, with very long faces, where I was examined, minuted and returned to Sneak, where I learned something of the bankrupt law, and heard a great deal of abuse betwixt Messrs. Sneak and Flutter. During all this amusement, the long faces grew still longer, and the only persons who seemed to have any animation at all, was the professional gentlemen to whom I have already alluded. Having returned to my Banker, I profited much by what I had seen and heard on this occasion, and, from that moment, the study of the Bankrupt law occupied a considerable portion of my spare time. But my legal knowledge was not confined to one department. It having been reported, that my female endorser was about to make an elopement to foreign parts, I was dragged forth and made the subject of an application, meditatione fuga, when I scampered off on a wildgoose chace after my female friend, who contrived, notwithstanding my great exertion, to keep beyond my reach. This trip, however, gave me a knowledge of the law of arrest, and, when I returned home, tired and fatigued both in mind and body, with a pretty handsome bill of travelling charges, the Banker, very ungratefully, tossed me from him, calling me, a very bad bill." But still I bore all, and said nothing, "for sufferance is the badge of all our tribe." My last day of endurance was near at hand. I blessed my stars for this, and it having arrived, I was presented to my third endorser Mr. Sharper, when I had not the slightest doubt of being "duly honoured." But, to my utter amazement, he turned round and observed, with considerable non chalance, that he knew nothing of me, and told me to be off, otherwise he should have me conveyed to the watch-house, as being a forger and a gross impostor. My banker upon this looked very blue. He called me an infamous bad bill," but I entreated of him to suspend his 66 66 judgment, and to send me to Edinburgh, where I would punish this saucy knave for his insolence. I went to Edinburgh, accordingly, but Sharper having met me by suspension, a very grave point of law arose, whether his subscription, which I bore on my back, was his true and genuine subscription, or whether it was false and forged. As this question could only be decided in court, I was accordingly introduced to many professional persons in high eminence at the bar. I found the lawyers perfect gentlemen-they laughed and joked about the whole affair; they took great pleasure in bothering the judges about me, in which they succeeded to a miracle; for they, honest men, seemed in great doubt and perplexity. Some were for proving me a genuine bill, by sending me to a jury-others by a remit to engravers; but, before they had finally decided, Sharper died, and died, too, a bankrupt, and so died the discussion, while the banker had the bill of costs to pay, exclaiming all the time that I was a most unfortunate, ill-fated bill!" I was determined. however, to leave no stone unturned, and through bad report and good report to stick firmly to my legal rights; and, accordingly as my next step, I presented myself to my drawer. This person had lost all remembrance of me, but when I contrived to bring myself to his recollection, and to inform him of my business;" pooh, pooh," answered he, "you may go to the devil and hang yourself, for you are a fellow for whom I never got a sixpence of value. Get out, you gambling vagabond, and do your best." I shall never forget the contemptuous look the banker gave me when he heard these elegant expressions. I myself was completely overpowered at this ingratitude. I entreated to be allowed the advice of my old friends the lawyers, but just as the banker had consented to this, my drawer appeared in the "Gazette," when I myself exclaimed in the bitterness of my sorrow, that I " was indeed a most unfortunate, ill-fated bill." The only other name I bore was the farmer's; but, rest and bless his soul, he had gone to that "Undiscovered country, from whose bourne No traveller returns. Tired, sickened, and disgusted by the bad usage I had experienced, I gave up all farther exertion, satisfied, that in every thing I had done my best, so the result is, that, I have been dishonoured, noted and pro. tested. I have been stigmatised as forged, false and worthless. I have been handed about from one hand to another. I have been everything and nothing, as it pleased whim or caprice, and yet I have borne all silently; but, with the conviction, that sooner or later, I will have my reward and my triumph. All this has happened to others, as well as to myself. No race of individuals are more ungratefully used than the fra ternity to which I belong, and yet, what could the world do without us? Your merchant could neither buy nor sell, were it not for bills-your bankers could not live were it not for bills-parliament might shut shop, were it not for its bills. You have tailor's bills, doctor's bills, lawyer's bills, tradesmen's bills, household bills, tavern bills, bills with and without value, foreign and inland bills, good bills, bad bills, large bills and small bills. You cannot move, speak or think, or enjoy yourself one way or another without your bills; still you use them all unhandsomely, dishonouring, protesting and abusing them, as occasion may require. In my own individual case, I have experienced all this, but I will pledge my existence, that no man has ever dishonoured his bill, without sooner or later having cause to repent it. A FAMILY PICTURE.-The famous Lord Chesterfield had a relation, a Mr. Stanhope, who was exceedingly proud of his pedigree, which he pretended to trace to a ridiculous antiquity. Lord Chesterfield was one day walking through an obscure street in London, where he saw a miserable daub of Adam and Eve in Paradise. He purchased this painting, and having written on the top of it," Adam de Stanhope, of Eden, and Eve his wife," be sent it to his relation as a valuable old family picture. THERE are perhaps few characters to whom society is less indebted than the numerous extensive and wellknown family of the Meanwells. Some of these worthies have a place in every company. One of them alludes, in a large party, to a circumstance which, although not dishonourable either to your head or your heart, is still remarkably unsuitable for the ears of the persons present. You first smile kindly to Meanwell, then nod expressively, but it will not do he thinks he is right and he proceeds. You then begin to be uneasy with some of the particulars which he narrates, without adding other circumstances which are absolutely necessary to a proper impression being effected on the minds of the company, but he will not permit you to interrupt him-" he knows the story quite well". "he hopes you will allow him to tell it in his own way, afterwards you may tell it if you choose." Thus having caused you to blush to the eyes, the story turns out to be not of the least importance or interest to any one of the party but yourself. That angel on your left kindly whispers in your ear, "you must feel extremely awkward, but do forgive him, you know he is of the Meanwell family." Are you anxious to purchase the estate adjoining your villa? Yes. But the proprietor being a friend and neighbour, who has lately become embarrassed by mercantile misfortune, you feel delicacy in alluding to the subject, or in opening the negociation. Mr. Meanwell has got a hint of it. He makes , his forenoon call upon your old acquaintance, although formerly he never had been in the house; "he thinks it best to come to the point at once-his friend, Mr. wishes to purchase the estate." The indignant owner colours deeply, asserts that the estate is not at present for sale, laying an emphasis on the word at present, and your zealous friend sneaks away, consoling himself that at least you will give him a favourable reception. He is mistaken. You feel even more indignant than your insulted neighbour-you storm and rage-but your lady at length calms your passion, by reminding you that there could he "no ill intention, the young man is one of the Meanwell family." You have a small volume in the press, intended for private circulation, and, as you do not wish to be known as its author, you confide the matter to your acquaintance, requesting he will superintend it in printing. You are surprised to see, in a week afterwards, in the different newspapers, strangely mutilated extracts from Mr.'s forthcoming volume," with the agreeable addition that a particular friend of the author has favoured them with the said extracts. You go to the printerhe declares his innocence; you call on the newspaper editor-he shows you the manuscripts, with several corrections, which destroy the composition, in the hand-writing of your busy friend. You accuse the latter of betraying his trust-" he thought you would have no objection-he could see no harm in doing as he had done." You are obliged to excuse him-he is one of the Meanwell family. My finances were rather low lately, and I thought of disposing of my pictures. It is due to my small collection, to say, that they are all original but one. I invited Lord B- whom I learned was disposed to purchase the whole, to inspect them. His Lordship expressed himself well pleased with the pictures, especially the copy, which he pronounced an undoubted original of the master. The price was declared not to be "an object," and the bargain was about to be concluded, when who should enter but Mr. Meanwell. "Well, my Lord," he exclaimed, "I hope you have purchased Mr.'s pictures-an excellent collection, all genuine except-for you know I must be candid— all genuine but one." "Which is the exception," cried his Lordship-" The Teniers," said Meanwell. This was his Lordship's favourite—he coloured deeply —pleaded an engagement, promised to return when the atmosphere was more favourable, and bade me farewell-I may add, for ever. The sale and the acquaintanceship were both concluded, by the honest interference of one of the Meanwell family. My eldest daughter had secured from India, the seed of a rare and valuable plant, which, after the greatest attention on her part, and that of my gardener for two years, promised last summer to expand into flower. In order to please my girl, I cut down a favourite vine, and appropriated part of my hot-house, that this exotic might be kept in a dry and hot atmosphere, humidity being fatal to it when once it rose above a certain height. My indefatigable friend takes a fatherly care of my vines, but some how or other he had never found access to the place where this plant was reared, until his last visit-his feeling mind was affected by the arid appearance of the earth around the plant, and, tender-hearted man! he procured a pail of water, and deluged the ground all around it. When my daughter heard of this feat, which entirely destroyed her two years' exertions, I was much pleased with her resignation. I'm sure he did not intend it-he is of the Meanwell family." Having found the name of this numerous family an apology for all their misdeeds, I lately investigated their pedigree. Some hundred years ago, Mr. Robert Rash married Miss Nancy Goodnature, whose eldest son was Thomas Thoughtless, Esq. The latter gentleman changed his name for the estate of Good-intention, and assumed that of Meanwell, from whom, it cannot be doubted, the present Meanwell family are descended. MISCELLANEA. MR. GREEN. The department of the Custom-house to which Mr. G. belonged, was under the controul of the Duke of Manchester, who used to treat those immediately under him once a year. After one of these entertainments, Mr. G. seeing a range of servants in the hall, said to the first of them, "Pray, Sir, do you give tickets at your turnpike ?" BISHOP WARBURTON'S OPINION OF THE COURT OF CHANCERY. -As unfit as I am for heaven, I had rather hear the last trumpet than a citation from the Court of Chancery. If you ever have seen Michael Angelo's "Last Judgment," you have there, in the figure of the Devil, who is pulling and lugging, at a poor sinner, the true representation of a Chancery lawyer, who has catched hold of your purse. ORIGINAL POETRY. CATH-LADO.-PART I. (A Tale of Olden Times.) I think of Lochlin-land of heroes brave— I see the king o'er western billows fly, To welcome Fingal to the hero's feast. When cloud-fraught tempests meet in Cona's vale." The nymph here alluded to, is the daughter of Starno, whom her father slew, because he discovered to Fingal, on a former occasion, a plot he had laid for his life. |