All, heteroclite Dan except,
Who neither time nor order kept,
But by peculiar whimfies drawn,
Peeps in the ponds to look for spawn ;
O'erfees the work, or Dragon rows,
Or marrs a text, or mends his hose;
Or-but proceed we in our journal-
At two, or after, we return all:
From the four elements affembling,
Warn'd by the bell, all folks come trema
bling:
From airy garrets some descend,
Some from the lake's remotest end i
My lord and dean the fire forfake,
Dan leaves the earthly spade and rake:
The loit'rers quake, no corner hides them,
And lady Betty foundly chides them.
Now water's brought, and dinner's done i
With church and king the lady's gone;
(Not reck'ning half an hour we pass
In talking o'er a moderate glass.)
Dan, growing drowsy, like a thief
Steals off to dofe away his beef;
And this must pass for reading Hammond-
While George and Dean go to back-gam=
My lord chief-baron's smaller boat.
R
George, Nim, and Dean fet out at four,
And then again, boys, to the oar.
But, when the fun goes to the deep,
(Not to disturb him in his fleep,
Or make a rumbling o'er his head,
His candle out, and he a-bed)
We watch his motions to a minute,
And leave the flood, when he goes in it.
Now ftinted in the fhort'ning day,
We go to pray'rs, and then to play
Till fupper comes; and after that
We fit an hour to drink and chat.
'Tis late-the old and younger pairs
By Adam lighted walk up ftairs.
The weary Dean goes to his chamber;
And Nim and Dan to garret clamber:
So, when the circle we have run,
The curtain falls, and all is done.
I might have mention'd fev'ral facts Like episodes between the acts; And tell who lofes, and who wins, Who gets a cold, who breaks his fhins; How Dan caught nothing in his net, W And how the boat was over-fet:
For brevity I have retrench'd
How in the lake the dean was drench'd: 42
It would be an exploit to brag on,
How valiant George rode o'er the Dragon,
How steady in the ftorm he fat,
And fav'd his oar, but loft his hat:
How Nim (no huntere'er could match him)
Still brings us hares, when he can catch 'em
How skilfully Dan mends his nets;
How fortune fails him when he fets.
Or how the dean delights to vex
The ladies, or lampoon the fex;
Or how our neighbour lifts his nose
To tell what ev'ry school-boy knows i
Then with his finger on his thumb
Explaining ftrikes oppofers dumb:
Or how his wife, that female pedant,
(But now there need no more be faid on't)
Shews all her fecrets of house-keeping ;
For candles how the trucks her dripping;
Was forc'd to fend three miles for yeast
To brew her ale, and raise her paste;
Tells ev'ry thing that you can think of,
How the cur'd Tommy of the chin-cough ;
What gave her brats and pigs the meafles,
And how her doves were kill'd by weasels;
How Fowler howl'd, and what a fright
She had with dreams the other night.
But now, fince I have gone fo far on,
A word or two of lord chief-baron
And tell how little weight he fets
On all whig papers, and gazettes;
But for the politicks of Pue,
Thinks ev'ry fyllable is true.
And fince he owns the king of Sweden
Is dead at last, without evading,
Now all his hopes are in the Czar:
Why, Muscovy is not fo far;
"Down the black sea, and up the ftreights,
"And in a month he's at your gates;
Perhaps, from what the packet brings,
By Christmas we shall fee ftrange things."
Why should I tell of ponds and drains,
What carps we met with for our pains;
Of fparrows tam'd, and nuts innumerable
To choak the girls, and to confumea rabble?
But you, who are a scholar, know
How tranfient all things are below, w
How prone to change is human life!
Laft night arriv'd Clem. and his wife
This grand event hath broke our measures;
Their reign began with cruel feizures:
The dean must with his quilt fupply
The bed in which thofe tyrants lie;
Nim loft his wig-block, Dan his jordan,
(My lady fays fhe can't afford one ;)
George is half fear'd out of his wits,
For Clem. gets all the dainty bits.
Henceforth expect a diff'rent furvey,
This house will foon turn topsy-turvy :
They talk of further alterations,
Which caufes many fpeculations.
Written in the Year 1728.
DERMOT, SHEELA H,
A Nymph and fwain, Sheelah and Der
Who wont to weed the court of Gosford knight,
While each with ftubbed knife remov'd the roots
Sir Arthur Achefon, whofe great grandfather was Sir Archibald of Gosford in Scotland.
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