1

miferable, blind and naked, and wanted all Things, when deftitute of the Favour of God, and without witnefling the Smiles of his Coun

tenance.

Thus, as the Pfalmift confeffes himself once, fo foolish and ignorant was I, faying, in Effect, to God, Depart from me, for 1 defire not the Knowledge of thy Ways: What is the Almighty, that I should defire him? Or what greater Profit would accrue, if we pray'd unto him, or ferv'd him? By this falfe Reasoning is the Candle of the Un-· godly extinguished; from whence proceeds DeItruction upon the Inconfiderate and Unrighteous, unless they return, repent and amend. But now, behold the Goodness, Lenity and Long-fuffering, of a merciful God! who had been long alluring me by his Mercies, which I paffed light by, or rejected: He has now Recourse to his Judgments; but neither did I yet fee that Afflictions rose not out of the Duft, but that Mankind were naturally and promifcuously born to Trouble. I was indeed afflicted, and I mourn'd; but it was for the Abfence of temporal Bleffings; and as my Defires and Pursuits extended no higher, I endeavour'd to fupport my Diftrefs, by gratifying my Pride and Ambition to the Extent of my Power. At length, in this Day of Adverfity, I began a little to confider, and applied to God, in Prayer and Supplication, that he would be pleased to deliver me out of my Distress, or fupport me under it; ftill ignorant of the Joys of his Salvation, or that there were fpiritual Confolation in Store for me, on certain Conditions, if I rightly applied for them ; but being infenfible of the Want of

them,

them, I as yet asked them not, till the happy Seafon of my Life, wherein I witneffed a religious Turn of Mind, and the drawing Cords of God's Love inclining my Heart to feek his Face and Favour, with greater Ardency and Fervour than I had ever been fenfible of before: I now began to view and confider Things in another Light than I formerly had done; and, by reverfing the Perfpective, the fading Objects and Enjoyments of this Life leffened in my View and Account; and as the Love of God and of heavenly Things increased in my Heart, fo in Proportion my Fondness for worldly Enjoyments decreased and vanished.

At length the warmest Returns of Love and Gratitude began to arife in my Soul to God, who first loved me, and had done great Things for me, by plucking my Feet out of the Mire and Clay of Sin and Folly, and fixing them upon the Rock Chrift Jefus. He alfo put a new Song in my Mouth, which none but those who are in Degree redeem'd by his precious Blood can fing, even Praises to our God! Thus on my turning to God, I began to witnefs new Thoughts, new Defires, new Affections, new Hopes, new Joys, and new Fears; and to fee the Neceffity of Regeneration and a new Birth unto Righteousness, without which I could not poffibly enter the Kingdom of God; that all Things must be changed, and become new, all of, and pointing to God. And farther, if I would be Chrift's Difciple, I must deny myself, take up a Cross to my own Will, be subject to, and follow him, under whofe Banner I had now lifted.

Thus

Thus examining and pursuing this Doctrine and Precept of our Lord's, I was naturally led, in fome Degree, to what is called Quakerism (tho' it appeared to me in no other Form nor Name, than that of primitive Christianity) which, in my first Thoughts of Religion, I had no more Intention of embracing, than I had of receiving Mahometim; knowing little more of the Quakers, than that they were a plain People in their Garb and Speech. But it has been remark'd to me, that my Mother was fome Time of this Perfuafion, and no Wonder that I should have a warm Side for ber Opinion.

I anfwer'd, My Father was a Member of the Church of England, and educated me in that Way; and I well remember, I had a much warmer Side for his Opinion; not that I knew what was the effential Difference in their religious Sentiments, or at least that affected me, any farther than that one allow'd me fomething more Liberty in Drefs; whereas the other would tell me Plainnefs in Apparel was most agreeable to Christianity, and to the Divine Being, who hated Pride in his Creatures. To be fure, I thought this Doctrine. abfurd, by the Reflection I remember I made at the Time, That God, I believ'd, would not reject me, on the Score of wearing Lace, or a fine and gay Silk Gown. I have thought fince, any one might imagine I had fetch'd my Argument from Lucretian Principles, that the Almighty could not defcend fo low as to notice fuch Trifles, or mark little Follies, if Gaiety in Apparel fhould be One; but no wonder that when I was a Child, I thould reafon as a Child.

I am

em

I am fenfible that Silks, Ribbons and Lace, are not any where in Scripture directly forbidden; but I learn from thence, that Pride, and all Manner of Superfluity, is. And if, by wearing this rich Silk, or adorning ourfelves with the other fuperfluous Ornaments, we feed and nourish a proud, vain Defire, it becomes by this Circumftance as unlawful as Pride itself; and that they do fo, I have greatly experienced: For tho' Religion ftands not fimply in Clothes, yet true Religion ftands in that which fets Bounds and Limits to the Mind with respect to Clothes, as well as other Things. And to strengthen this Affertion, or rather to prove it, I fhall offer an Inftance of my own Experience, viz. When it pleafed the Lord to vifit my Soul, and to appear to me m his Glory, the View of which discover'd to me my own Unworthiness, and caufed me not only to defpife and abhor myfelf, but my fplendid Apparel alfo: I had now no Delight in Drefs and Ornament, nor other Things I had ufually taken much Pleasure in : True Christianity, which I began to be acquainted with, fet a Bound to my Defires, and directed me to Plainness, before I had any Intention of joining the Society of the People call'd Quakers; and indeed all earthly and tranfitory Objects were, and are, in my View and Estimation, as Lofs, Drofs and Dung, in Comparison of the Excellency, Glory and Beauty, I behold in God, and find in the Enjoyment of his divine Favour; and at times I am ready to cry cut, O! how great is bis Glory, and tranfcendently great his Beauty.

But to return: When I was (by Marriage) remov'd from my Mother's Care and Direction, I

con

continued in my Father's Profeffion of Religion, for no other Reason that I remember, but that it allow'd me most Liberty in Drefs and Recreations, tho' my Father, as well as my Mother, did not fail to inculcate a juft Abhorrence of the Evils the moral Law condemns. However, when I confider'd and examin'd religious Matters with more. Serioufnefs, Sincerity and Attention, than was ufual with me, I found the little Religion (or rather the Profeffion of it) that I had, was that of my Education, which I could not call properly my own, as it was not the Religion of my Judgment, which I find abfolutely neceffary, and highly reasonable to be concern'd for. I read the Scriptures with fome Attention; and I have confider'd the following Text, that unless we deny ourselves, and take up a daily Crofs, we cannot be Chrift's Dif ciples. This Paffage appear'd to me to contain fome other and further Conftruction and Defign than many People allow, who confined it to moral Precepts and Duties. But before I proceed to fay in what Senfe others, as well as myfelf, understand this Christian Doctrine; I think, it may not be impertinent briefly to give fome Reason of my Faith and Hope, which I defire to do in the fame Difpofition the Apostle recommends, viz. In Meeknels and Fear. And firft, upon examining the Creed call'd The Apostles, I could fubfcribe to every Article therein contain'd, except one, (Chrift defcended into Hell) which, if it be meant no other than the Grave, I fubscribe to that also.

Next, I have confider'd and examin'd The Articles of the Church of England (of which I had

profeffed