THE BEAU OF BYBLOS.

CHAPTER I.

Of the Birth and Parentage of our Hero.

ANNO Mundi 2530, or, by Christian calculation, 3307 years ago, there appeared in the fashionable morning papers of Arabia-according to the best authority, Rumor-the following notice :-" BIRTHS-Yesterday morning her Royal Highness Myrrha, only daughter of His Most Gracious Majesty Cynaras, King of Cyprus, of a son."

It is our melancholy task to record that her royal highness was not "so well as could be expected" after her accouchement; in fact, as the nurse declared, with tears in her eyes, "the poor dear moped and moped, and at last died like a lamb!" There was certainly some secret sorrow preying upon her mind; but her profound silence threw a veil of mystery over her misfortunes, which it is not in the power of our historic pen to raise. There is only one little circumstance which may tend to cast a glimmering ray upon the dense obscurity which enveloped this singular affair-no certificate of her marriage could be discovered!

Had she lived, the gossips would have had a fine field for the exercise of their peculiar talents; but de mortuis nil nisi bonum was a maxim which the heathens of those distant days considered it a particular virtue to observe. The gods (who of course were "let into the secret") were touched with her misfortunes, and transformed her into a tree. But, as our story has nothing further to relate touching Myrrha, we will proceed with the narration of the adventures of Adonis, who was the fruit and only branch of the said tree.

Some nymphs in the neighbourhood (young ladies more celebrated for the purity of their minds than the extent of their wardrobe) took compassion upon the lovely orphan, and brought him up "by hand" in the caves of Arabia. They all declared he was a darling, and took a pride in rearing and instructing their curly-headed pet; and as he grew up and flourished under their care, they felt a peculiar delight in teaching him many little tricks, which, it must be admitted, he never afterwards forgot. Any other child would have been neglected or lost sight of; but Nature had been so lavish in her gifts of grace and beauty towards him, that he was an unceasing topic of conversation in the neighbourhood. There were, of course, sundry conjectures touching his paternity. Some went so far as to say that he was a son of Jupiter; others of Apollo; while the crabbed old crones, who disliked his prattle and playfulness, declared he was a son of somebody of a very different character, utrum horum-but stay, most eloquent goose-quill! nor condescend to chronicle these hypotheses, a nobler task is before thee. Yes! thou shalt indite a tale more welcome to the taste of the reader than the stuffed and roasted goose from whose wing thou wert untimely plucked!

CHAP. II.

Of his going forth into the World.

Young gentlemen till a certain age may conduct themselves very peaceably in a "ladies' preparatory establishment;" but no sooner do

they feel themselves springing into hobbledyhoyism, than they become restive as colts, and break from the silken tethers to which they have been previously bound! Never was this simple truism more positively exemplified than in the conduct of Master Adonis.

Beautiful in person, and wonderfully precocious, he fled from the protectresses of his tender years and presented himself at the court of Byblos in Phoenicia, where his personal qualifications and eloquent address immediately won the favour and attention of the reigning monarch. Under such august patronage he speedily became a proficient in all the accomplishments of the age; and his excellence in all attainments was such that he even outstripped the shafts of envy. All the young men imitated him--all the women adored him; in fine, he was the leading daudy of his day-minus the tailor-part of the modern beau.

CHAP. III.

Of his Hunting, and the extraordinary Game he started.

Like many other gallants of his time, Adonis could draw the longbow-throw the javelin-or the hatchet! and took great delight in the pleasures of the chase. Pursuing his recreations amidst the shades of Lebanus, he one day, after having slain and transformed a dappled denizen of the forest into venison, threw himself upon a bank of thyme to seek repose after his exertions (and what time could be better suited to the purpose?)-his antlered prize lying at his feet. After whistling awhile for want of thought, his ideas gradually congregated in his cranium, and burst forth in the following animated

Enamoured Echo took up the plaintive burden of this simple song, and "toora-loora-loo" rang through the leafy forest, till, at last, after many cadences and variations, it gave up the ghost in the cave of Silence. He had, however, other audience than the twittering birds, for, looking around him, he beheld a pair of the loveliest eyes that ever reflected the blue sky looking wistfully upon him. Zephyrus parted the envious leaves, and his ravished sight was fixed by two blooming cheeks pertaining to ditto.

He rose like a mist drawn up by the rays of the meridian sun from some stagnant pool. He was enchanted; he was a complete bankrupt in speech and locomotion; and like many another bankrupt, would most probably have been lost had not certain advances been made. The goddess Venus approached the enamoured hunter. The titles of god and goddess at that period were as plentiful, by the bye, as those of Baron and Baroness are now-a-days in Russia or Germany.

O, gentle youth!" cried she, "sing me that sweet song again; and let my ears drink in the intoxicating melody of your voice."

Adonis, however, was too much absorbed in the contemplation of his new acquaintance to attend to her flattering "encore;" and so, instead of a song, treated her with an overture" of love, which was most favourably received.

Leave we the lovers amidst the leaves to their pleasant conversation, while we give our reader some particulars of this lovely and interesting female.

CHAP. IV.

The story of Venus.

At the period of this our true and authentic history, there was a remarkably popular watering-place at the foot of Mount Cythera, frequented by all the ton and fashion of the day. Attending upon one of the "machines," was one of those red-faced, blue-garbed mer-women, whose peculiar province it was to "dip " nervous ladies, and squalling bantlings in the briny wave: some fine specimens of the genus are still extant at Margate and other places, where smoke-dried citizens annually migrate for ablution. Well, this worthy woman happened to have a daughter, who proved as unlike her mother, as the sweet rose is to the prickly tree on which it blooms. Now, the bathing-woman having no ostensible partner, the ladies of her craft waggishly declared that Venus (the name of the infant) was born of the sea,-a poetical conceit of which both ancient and modern writers have not only taken advantage, but "worked up " with astonishing effect.

Years elapsed, and Venus grew more beautiful every succeeding day; her education was unfortunately not the "genteelest," as she diurnally consorted with boatmen and bathing-women; and her mother, fearing her daughter might get into some untoward scrape, accepted the offer of a certain blacksmith in the neighbourhood, named Vulcan, who was well-to-do in the world, and bestowed her offspring upon him in marriage.

In point of personal beauty, it is impossible to imagine a more unequal union, for he was not only the most ordinary man in the town, but extra-ordinary, and extremely low and vulgar in his speech and man

ners. In a worldly view, however, it was an excellent match, for he carried on a "roaring trade;" and for some time the couple lived as most married couples do.

But it happened in the following season that a regiment was quartered in the town; and the young and handsome Colonel Mars, who was very partial to his horses, went to the "smithy," to see his favourite charger shod. Venus came into the smithy during the operation with a pot of porter for her husband's morning draught,-Vulcan was hammering away at a red-hot horseshoe, a random spark struck Mrs. V.'s hand, and she let fall the potation. With wrathful glare, and awful denunciations, the blacksmith approached his trembling" rib."-Colonel Mars, with that ready gallantry for which the "cloth" has always been famed, promptly interceded, and parried the impending blow. The pearly tears rolled down the blushing cheeks of Mrs. V., like dew-drops upon a rose leaf, while sobbing, she exclaimed,

"You cruel brute, to-to-use-me so!" and falling into hysterics fit for the occasion, the enchanted Colonel supported her in his protecting arms.

Vulcan growled, and finished the job. The next morning Mars, disgusted with the place, had marched, bearing with him V.'s ill-used wife, who, at his earnest solicitation, had consented to put herself under his care and protection; and she was now living in genteel retirement in a small cottage orné on the borders of the forest of Libanus.

CHAP. V.

Which treats of our Hero's acquaintance with Venus.

Asparagus springs up in a single night; equally sudden is the growth of love; yea, even as the cowslip and convolvulus expand beneath the noon-day sun, so do the affections unfold themselves before the smiles of beauty.

Adonis, armed with his bow and quiver, and his boar-spear in his hand, now daily betook himself to the leafy coverts of the forest. It was, however, a remarkable circumstance, that he who was the keenest sportsman of the court of Byblos now rarely returned with any ferine spoil. He was laughed at by his companions for his want of success; but he only returned their jocular sallies with a smile. The fact is, Venus was the only "dear" he sought; and urged by love, he had signed an amnesty with all the bucks and fawns that he once pursued so zealously. The bow of Adonis was never bent; for the beau of Byblos was always at the feet of the enchanting daughter of the old bathingwoman of Cythera. It is an old maxim, that "love and a cough cannot be hid," and consequently his absorbing amour was soon discovered by the gallant Colonel M., who would have called out his formidable rival on the instant, had he not apprehended that, should any fatal consequence result to the reigning favourite of the court of Byblos, he might run a narrow chance of losing his commission. With the intuitive caution, therefore, of an old soldier, he determined secretly to undermine the fortress he could not venture openly to assail.

With this resolution he cunningly devised the plot which we shall lay before the eyes of our sagacious reader in the following chapter.

CHAP. VI.

Colonel Mars consults with Diana.

Diana held the ostensible situation of keeper of the forest of Libanus, a sinecure which, from the oldest times, has been conferred upon spinsters of the noblest families. To her the engaging soldier addressed himself on the subject of his complaint, relating to her, with a sigh, and in the most delicate phrase of his vocabulary, the naughty "goings on" which he pretended accidentally to have discovered during his perambulations in her wide domain.

The Goddess of Chastity blushed so deeply at the recital of the indignity which had been offered to her by the incautious lovers, that a bystander would really have imagined the virgin's face to have been a mirror in which the red coat of the warlike informer was reflected. The fair huntress stamped with rage, and summoned her train to her presence in an instant, that she might have the advantage of their collective wisdom in discussing this perilous affair.

"Dear lady!" inquired one of the foremost, bow in hand, "what game is started ?”

"Game, indeed!" said Diana; "here's a pretty kettle of fish! That fellow Adonis ——'

"What, that pretty man?"

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Pretty man!" repeated Diana. "I desire, Miss, that you never talk of pretty men to me. If I thought for a moment that you, or any of you, had dared to look upon a man and think of him, I would discharge you immediately without a character."

The whole bevy of damsels made a unanimous declaration that they would not for the world have been so wicked.

"Listen to me," continued she, with the authoritative tone of the mistress of a ladies' boarding-school; "this Adonis has dared to make assignations with a female in our territory."

O, shocking!" issued from the lips of the awe-struck group in one voice.

"This worthy gentleman," pointing to Mars, who humbly bent to her, while, with the tail of his eye, he leered at her train. "This worthy gentleman, with feelings which do honour to his strict morality, (the Colonel drew in his breath and looked rather sheepish at this unmerited compliment,) has made a statement to me of the whole disgraceful proceedings. Now, I know that to seek for his condign punishment at the court is a hopeless task; for mine own honour I must therefore be the judge and executioner in this flagrant business."

Diana pondered for a moment, and then resumed :

"It has just flashed across my mind that we can settle his business in a twinkling." She uttered this sentence so volubly, that all the nymphs were sensibly excited by her animation. "You know," continued their leader, "that we have a huge he-pig in the sty,—an untameable brute, with a corkscrew tail and a pretty considerable pair of tusks."

"The Duke of Tuscany ?" said one of the nymphs.

"The same," replied Diana; " and it is my intention to give the ferocious beast his freedom; and, by my bow and quiver! I think if he encounters this spruce gallant, he'll spoil his sport.'