FLORENCE, our hero's birth-place apoftrophized-Spleen, his mother's midwife, becomes his wet-nurfe Found incapable-A she wolf proposed-Not to be got-Her fubftitute a tabby-cat-How the boy thriv'd on cat's milk-Grew playful-Narrowly escaped being cafrated Is brought to England-Prefented to his father WIT, by whom he is partly acknowledged.-Our hero fent to college-Shoots up apace under the aufpices of his Sire-His growth flinted by his mother and nurfe-Never learns to walk alone-Hangs about his chums—Grows thievish and fucks their brains-Turns poet and paragraph writer-Takes to puppet-fhews, and goes apprentice to a playerTakes to ftealing farces-The play-wright's an eafy trade—Marries a ftroller's ftrumpet-Turns manager-Stirs the green-room fire, and fets the house a blazing-Invocation to the mufe-Women the fource of mifchief-Actreffes all Helens-Painted puffes-Our hero goes caterwauling-His wife grows jealous, and dies of the hip -Reamur's rabbit and Hen-Our hero compared to a bantuin capon-To Don Quixote falling foul of the puppets-To Punch, who kicks all before him-He fines his players-Snatches old Macklin's bread and butter-Frightens his brother patentees-Is damned as a man-of-business-Puts, metaphorically to fea-Is thrown over--Apoftroboard for a Jonas- -His partners fet fail and leave himphizes the whale and dolphin-Is fav'd on the back of a fprat-Is feized with a quartan ague-Carried to Drury hospital-Neglected— Dying of the Spleen-Is metamorphofed into a bat, and immortalized as the emblem of folly.'

As a fpecimen of the verfification of this farcaftical jeu d'efprit, we shall cite the two first cantos, as they are difproportionally fhorter than the two laft, and contain little more than an introduction to the business of the poem.

CANTO

AS WIT with FOLLY, on a day,
Amus'd himself in amorous play,
As oft he did of

yore;

I.

v'd

So well the fport dame Folly lov'd,
That foon the teeming wanton prov
How late fhe had play'd the whore.

But what a mifgot, mulifh thing

Time from her pregnant womb might bring,
Was held awhile in doubt:

When, lo, at length, before its time,
In Italy's licentious clime,

The brat came fprawling out.

For tho' 'tis faid, the baftard's lot
In Britain's clime to be begot,
The Genius of our ifle,

Forefeeing of what little worth

Would prove the bantling at its birth,
Thought 'twould the land defile.

Dif

Difgufted in a moody fit,

Against th' unnatural taste of WIT,
In fondling with the mother;
He almost thought it was no fin
The worthlefs embrio, while within
The womb, in time, to fmother.

When SPLZEN, with her obftetric aid,
Still following the midwife's trade,
Determin'd to adopt it;

Refolv'd to make its growth her charge,
And fet the fouterkin at large

Where'er the mother dropt it.

From England banish'd, ftrait through France
The pregnant day-mare took a dance ;
Her hag ftill waiting on her:
Officious, as if ma'am had been
A Swedifb, or a Danish Queen,
And the her dame of honour.
But, aw'd by Angleterre's Genie,
T'obfequious Gallic bel-efprit,

Soon gave them both a sweating.
"FOLLY," dit il, and then took snuff,
"In France has lain in oft enough
Of fools, our own begetting.-

"So, hence begone, mefdames, morbleu!
"This be no littering place for you ;
"Accouchez vous a Rome;

In Italy alone you'll find

"The characters that mark your kind,
"There FOLLY is at home.

They wanted not the bidding twice;
FOLLY is fo attach'd to vice,

When mask'd beneath virtù,

That madame and her midwife SPLEEN,
Together in their voiturin,

Set off without ado.

Beyond the Alps, beyond reproach;
The ladies now fet up their coach:
When, from a fudden jolt,
As once pope Joan (tho' fince 'tis faid,
The popes, tho' cover'd, have not bred)
The loofe mare flipp'd her colt.

From parifh thus to parish pafs'd,
The beggar's brat is dropp'd at last ;
(The mile muft frike)

For,

For, high or low, the rogue and whore,
Making the GRAND or petty tour,
In coach or cart, are like.

All hail! Italia's hated clime!
Where every meannefs, every crime
That nature can debase,
Where fly fufpicion, foul distrust,
Malice, revenge, and fouleft luft
Pollute the human race.

Detefted foil! where rankly grows
Each vicious weed the devil fows,
To modeft Nature's forrow;
'Till, fwelling with avengeful ire,
Earth opens wide, and liquid fire*
Pours o'er this new Gomorrah.
Ev'n Stanhope's felf, who taught his fon

Diffimulation's race to run,

And act the part of Mask-all, t
Was in his morals yet fo nice,
He fear'd that in thy fink of vice,
He'd prove too great a rascal.
I hail thee, as, in time of yore,
Grim Satan hail'd the Stygian fhore ;
When, from Olympus hurl'd,
He took (there ever doom'd to dwell)
Poffeffion of profoundest hell;
Greeting th' infernal world §.

No greeting with complacence fweet,
Where mutual gratulations meet;

I

But hatred and difguft.

greet thee as the hell on earth,

That gave our bye-blow bantling birth,
Offspring of Folly's luft.

Alluding to the eruptions of Vefuvius.

A character in Congreve's Double Dealer.

Hail!

Lord Chesterfield, whofe latudinarian principles refpecting morals are well known. He looked upon the vices of France as venial in comparifon with those of Italy.

$ Hail! Horrors! Hail! and thou, profoundest Hell!

Receive thy new poffeffor.

MILTON.

* Viz. Smyrna, Rhodes, Colophon, Salamis, Chios, Argos, and Athens.

Hail, Florence! foul as thou art fair!
Thine was our hero's native air ;

Thanks to that midwife, Spleen!
Who now, to make the matter worse,
Refolves to be the bantling's nurse;
A woeful nurse, I ween!
For ah! in vain the puny thing
Attempted nourishment to wring
From out her flabby udder:
For lank her long dugs, hanging down,
Seem'd as if fuck'd by half the town;
Enough to make one fhudder!
When Folly, fearing left her child,
For lack of bubby should be spoil'd,
Bethought her of the ftory,

How Romulus with Ree his brother,
A fhe-wolf had, for fofter-mother

Whence sprung the Roman glory !*
The country fearch'd in vain around,
No new-milch wolf-dug could be found.
Alas, the fad difafter!

When Spleen propofed, as ftill more fitting, t
Her tabby cat should wean her kitten,

And fuckle little mafter.

This done, 'tis faid, tho' ftrange to tell,
Cat's milk agreed with him fo well
(Congenial humours meeting)
The puling thing began to mew,
And frisk and play, as kittens do,
Mamma and midwife greeting.
Folly and Spleen, now faw, with joy,
Their fcratching cat-o'barnet boy,
Its wet-nurse taking after.
So playful was the pretty fellow,
As e'en to rival Punchinello;
The Macaroon of laughter!

They, therefore, thought it now high time.
To change the country and the clime,

And hie for England, over.

Hence, tripping back again through France,

They fruck up a co illon dance,

And foon arrived at Dover.

Mof

Romulus and Remus, the first of which was the founder of Rome, are faid to have been fuckled by a wolf.

The nipple being better adapted in fize to the aperture of the bearn's mouth. HUNTER.

Moft opportune, the little ape,
Thus made his fortunate efcape,
His dry-uurfe, an Italian,
Maving (to make him fing) begun
To work on Folly's favourite fon,
And spoil him for a fiallion *.

Half-made, half-marr'd, the furgeons fay,
The ridgilt thus was brought away.-
Mark but that look of his ;
That half a smile, that half a grin,
Speaking the eunuch-foul within,
His feeble-featur'd phiz!
At Britain's Genius fpit her fpite,
Spleen now maintain'd the filial right
Of this, her favourite kitling;
Prefented him to's father, Wit,
Who, in a gay, good-natur'd fit,
Half own'd th' exotic Witling.

The difcerning reader will regret with us that the wit and ingenuity, evidently poffeffed by this writer, were not employed on a better fubject. At the fame time, we as fincerely regret that men of acknowledged talents should be fo petulant of difpofition, as to think it neceffary for one to fpit his Spite whenever another vents his Spleen!

In an etched frontispiece to this publication, is given the hero of the poem in caricatura, ludicroufly habited in the triple character of a barrister at law, a puppet-shew man and a newshawker; with their profeffional infignia, and fome sketches of his story, touched on the back-ground.

This extraordinary anecdote has but lately been communicated, by one of those useful motherly females, who officiated at his nativity.

Bate.

This reverend annotator is mistaken, in fuppofing a plurality of goffips affembled at our hero's birth. He was born of Folly, and brought forth alone by Spleen; no other females attending.

Martinus Scriblerius, junr.

A term given to an imbecile or natural caftrato.
Agreeable to the phrafe "he looks as melancholy as a gibb'd cat."

Scrib.

S.

Three Weeks after Marriage; a Comedy of two Acts. As performed at the Theatre-Royal in Covent-Garden,

Kearsley.

8vo. I s.

In an advertisement prefixed to this comedy, we are told, The following farce was offered to the public in January 1764; but the quarrel about a trifle, and the renewal of that quarrel after the difpute had fubfided, being thought unnatural, the piece was damned. VOL. III.

Dd d

Mr.