rodics of Mr. Bennet and Mr. Gibson (who had been employed as the collator) Stung by thefe ftubborn facts, Dr. Bentley, in the enlarged edition of his Differtation, 1699, endeavoured to invalidate their force, by an attempt to weaken the credibility of the witnesses. On Dr. King, in particular, he has condefcended to bestow near eight pages of his Preface, a fhort fpecimen of which is annexed to the Letter we have laft referred to. In a fecond letter to Mr. Boyle*, our author, with great modefty, refutes the groundless ca lumny, and proves that Dr. Bentley himfelf has confirmed his teftimony in every particular, but the having omitted the great Critic's beautiful fimilitude of a fqueezed orange.", "In the progrefs of the controverfy †, Dr. King published his "Dialogues of the Dead‡," written (as he fays) in felf defence," and replete with that admirable fpecies of banter which was his peeuliar talent, and which must have abundantly mortified his adverfary's vanity." Dr. King's Dialogues of the dead are, indeed, full of excellent wit and humour, but as all, except one, bear relation to the once popular, though now almoft forgotten, dispute between Boyle and Bentley, about Phalaris's Epiftles, they might afford little amusement to our readers. We fhall felect for their entertainment, therefore, the dialogue above-mentioned, between the Cardinal's tooth-drawer, the Pope's corn-cutter, and the Mufti's receiver-general. * DIALOGUE XI. Shewing the way to modern preferment. SIGNIOR INQUISITIVO-DON SEBASTIANO DES LOS MUSTACHIEROS SIGNIOR CORNARO-MUSTAPHA, "INQ Pray, gentlemen, have a little more patience with one another; you do not imagine the danger that may be in quarreling here amongst the fhades below. Let me be fo happy as to compofe the difference. "SEB. To take the right-hand of a perfon of my quality ! "CORN. To affront a person that has made fuch a figure in the other world as I have done! "INQ. Dear gentlemen, I believe neither of you knew the other's quality. It is ufual here, where death makes us all equal, and where I fhall be glad to make all friends. I long to know to what perfons I am about to do fo good an office. "SEB. that the "Examination," though published with his name, was in reality no part of it his. It was then, and has fince, been, generally afcribed to Dean Aldrich, Dr. Atterbury, Dr. John Friend, Dr. Smallridge, and other wits of Chrift Church, who contributed their quotas in this work, for the fake of humbling the redoubtable Bentley, whom they heartily hated. Vol. I. p. 142. + Of which fee fome account, vol. I. p. 135, and vol. III. p. 296. Vol. I. p. 144. This is printed as a "Dialogue of the Dead," though of a different fpecies from the preceding TEN.-It was published long before the others; but the precife time does not appear, any nearer than that it was in the Pond fate of Innocent XI; which began in 1689, and ended in 1691. "SEB. Then, Sir, I do let you know, that I was Don Se baftiano des los Muftachieros, a favourite and prime minifter to Caldinal Porto-carero, that great Prelate, who hath difpofed of fo large a fhare of the univerfe, and is the padrone of the greatet monarchs. CORN. Why then I likewife let you know, that I was Signior Cornaro My friend was the prefent Pope Innocent XI. He has been beholden to me for many good offices done him, both before and fince he came to the papacy; nor durft anŷ man in Rome have affronted me. "INQ. Why then, gentlemen, we of this world may hope to hear fomething of importance from the other, when two fuch great minifters arrive here.. SEB." I muft own, I have received returns of gratitude from the Cardinal, for the fervices I have done, which were daily; but the frequency of them did not make them the lefs regarded by his excellency. O heavens! how often have I fmoothed thote hairs, which the cares of fo great a monarchy had ruffled! and how have I ftiffened and exalted the fame mustachios, to the terror of his enemies!-I have eafed that mouth which is the oracle of the In dies; and, when the mines of Potofi could not have fent relief, by the extraction of one fingle office, too fall to be called a tooth, I have raised new harmony in all his fibres. By fuch great actions I first gained his esteem, till, being afterwards received into his pri vacies, I envied not the state of a Grandee; who might cover before the king, but must have been uncovered to me, if he hoped for any admittance to the Cardinal. "CORN. It is true, Sir, you have done fervice in the world. But what is that like having been placed in Rome, the feat of empire? By my friendship, Cardinals have been able to tread the Vatican, and there undertake the protection of crowned heads; which might have funk, had not I eradicated thofe painful excref cences which hindered the progreffion of their patrons Ambaffa dors have often waited in the papal anti-chamber, till this hand had performed its due operation upon that toe, before which even their mafters in their utmost grandeur must fall down and venerate. "INQ. How happy am I, after death! In the other world, I might have fearched long enough before I might have found out Cardinal Porto-Carero's tooth-drawer and Pope lunocent's corn-cutter together at one interview. But, fince I have that good fortune, pray let me know which way, from fuch beginnings, you might rife to the height of empire, as I perceive both of you have done? "SEB. Eatily, Sir, very easily. "CORN. Aye, Sir, very eafily. "SEB. But you must think we had our methods. I began first with my fellow-fervants and tradefmen-his razors had the worlt fort of fteel in thein-his fciffars were dear, and of no use-his wathballs not perfumed, and intolerable-but he had served his eminence many years, and I might be too bold in finding fault with him.— When this takes, then I begin my management at home-Diegb does does not come with the water-Jaccomo has not made the latherFrancifco never brushes the combs. "INQ. Very political! Little fervices moft oblige great perfonages," fays a learned author. "SEB, Thus I make tooting for my own creatures; never fuch perfumes as thofe of Don Balthafar-Don Fernandes goes himself for all his fnuff to the Indies-never fuch a diligent creature as the Little Jaquinello-Ricardo is never absent. "CORN. It is very true that a fettled ministry must depend upon the friendship of inferiors. "SEB. In a little time, my creatures had a correfpondence from the Cardinal's beard to the very foot of the stair-cafe. According to the cue, his eminence has not flept well to-night; he feems not to be in good-humour; nothing has been called forBut my little minifters never carry any thing from me but what is fatal. Your care left you should disturb his eminence shall be interpreted as your neglect of duty; your fear of his bad humour fhall put him into one. Thus commanding at home, I extend my powers abroad, and great perfons must be fubject to the fame laws as their inferiors; and when I can difpofe (though but in appearance) of fuch private' minutes, there is nothing in publick but must fall under my power. "INQ Had I received your inftructions in the other world, I might have much improved upon them. But, Signior Cornaro, you feem thoughtful. 66 "CORN. You have been difcourfing how much fmall things may be improved; and I have been cafting up how much I have been able to make of a corn. When the world was intent upon the Pope's counfels, to fee which he would mott incline to, either the intereft of the Auftrian family, or elfe of France, in relation to the Spanish Monarchy-he calls to me one day, Signior, I have occafion to make ufe of your fidelity. But dare you bear fcandal dare you endure the cenfure of the world, and that as long as I fhall think it convenient for my fervice - Any thing," cry 1," may it please your Holinefst fo you know it to be innocent ""Why I must be indifpofed for fome time," fays his Holinefs. I dare not truft my phyficians, left they fend me fomething that may really difpatch me. But thee I can trust; thou shalt fut fer me to give out-but stay, here are a thousand crowns for theethat, as thou wert cutting my corns, thy knife flipt, and made a wound fo uneafy to me, that walking may be dangerous "It was done; for who dares difobey his Holiness I had immediately the whole concourse of Rome about me. "Is it not enflamed, mot noble Cornaro ? When will he able to walk? when to give audience? I have a petition; and fhall be ruined, if not delivered within these two days. Is nothing to be done in private, honest Signior?" What with Cardinals, Secretaries, Imperial, and Spaaith factions, receiving prefents, and inwardly laughing at their folly, I was fo far wearied, that I had almoft refolved to undeceive them. You may obferve what a small thing, in outward appear ance, ance, his Holiness made ufe of to gain time, till he could fee the various turns of affairs in the European states, so as to be able to regulate his own counfels. SEB. Fair and foftly, good Sir! I cannot say that I did fo much good; but I occafioned an equal proportion of disturbance by as fall a matter. Being, by various methods too numerous to relate, admitted to Cardinal Porto-carero's clofet, I one day faw a pa per, beginning," In the Name, &c." by which I fuppofed it the Cardinal's will: and the hopes of a legacy made me double my diligence. The Cardinal fome days continued writing; and I going in to fnuff the lights, he complained of his pen, and bad me mend it. Now that very pen (if all be true as the world fays fince) may have difpofed of Spain and both the Indies. However, it was not my bufinefs to enquire who made the late king of Spain's will. But it was happy for me: I had all the pretenders to preferment under Philip the Fourth to wait upon me in a morning. Vice-roys were my companions. "When will his eminency stir? Is he long a dreffing? Who fpeaks to him first as he comes out of his closet? Could not you whifper him? Might not this make you my friend?" CORN. Undoubtedly, Sir, you knew that, whilft he was dreffing, was the propereft time to accoft him. I have heard of a great emprefs, Semiramis, who commanded fuch mighty armies, that he was forced to wear man's cloaths, to avoid the folicitations of her court-ladies: for, before that, he had not a pin stuck in her but what cost her a province, not a lock curled but what cost her two; and that, as women went then and go now, was pretty chargeable dreffing every morning. But, blefs me! who comes here? On my word, he has been terribly handled. "MUST. Yes, indeed, ill enough handled! I left my master's carcafe floating in a river, and have made the best of my way hither to provide for him. 66 INQ Pray, Sir, who may have been your master? "MUST. Why, Sir, he was the late Mufti of the Ottoman Empire. But the mob were pleased to dethrone the Sultan*, to force away the Grand Vizir, and to do an extraordinary favour for my master, and more than ever had been done to a Mufti before; that is, to murder him, drag him about the streets, throw him inte a river (and, thank their civility!) to throw me after him. "INQ Pray, Sir, what poft might you have borne under him? "MUST. Poft, Sir?-What poft, Sir? Why every poft, from his cook to his receiver general. Sir, I was a true fervant fitting for a great man, and ready to execute every thing that his power might command, or his appetites defire. My mafter, Sir, loved money; and had all the laws, both human and divine, of the Ottoman Empire, to difpofe of; and confequently had the fale of them! and, as I told you just now, I was his fervant. The mob thought the * Solyman III, who was depofed in 1691, was fücceeded by Achmet II Hence this Dialogue appears to have been written in that year. me the Mufti was covetous, though I never found him fo; and called "his money-bag maker:" for, it is true, by education, I was a French taylor, but not liking my trade, I ran away, was taken captive, turned Turk, had a kind mafter, under whom I made many a penny by interpreting the Alcoran and I hoped to have retired with what I had to Italy; and there, as I was circumcifed, to have ended my days in peace, under the notion of a Jewish broker. -But it is ordered otherwise. INQ, Well, I will 'retire, fince my two late acquaintance have got fo good a companion. Truly, three very famous men have found out three very hopeful minifters. However, the poor fellows were not to be blamed, fince they only used the readielt means to modern preferments." But we muft here take leave, for the prefent, of these entertaining volumes; referving a farther account of them for our next Review. Philofophical Tranfactions, giving fome account of the prefent undertakings, ftudies and labours of the Ingenious, in many confiderable parts of the world. Vol. LXV. for the year 1775, Part II. 4to. 7s. 6d. Davis. Having enumerated in our laft Review, the feveral articles contained in this fecond part of the volume of the Royal Society's Tranfactions for laft year, few of which will admit of extract, we fhould have difmiffed it with the notice already taken, had we not intimated, in our account of the experiments made in a heated room by the Doctors Fordyce and Blagden, contained in the first part of the volume, that we might have occafion to be more explicit on the fubject, when we fhould receive farther information concerning it. Some zealous friend of the Monthly Reviewers, and, as it fhould feem, ill-informed pupil of the experimentalifts, has, in the mean time, thought proper to take us to tafk, in the Gentleman's Magazine of October laft, for the few curfory ftrictures we then made on the fubject; condemning our article in terms at leaft as unguarded as could be any expreffion of ours t.-We VOL. III. A a *See London Review, Vol. II. Page 69. look To this anonymous Hypercritic we fhould not have deigned a reply, had we not been repeatedly called upon by our correfpondents, as well as had fome reafon to think the pupil was prompted by one or other of his friends or preceptors. He fays, "It appears on the whole, that the London Reviewers have failed in their criticifm on this article, either because they know nothing of the matter in hand, Vel quia nil rectum, nifi quod placuit fibi, ducunt, &c. and that they would better fupport their credit by endeavouring to acquire more knowledge, or more modefty and candour, than by fneering now and then at the condufters |