an ingenious friend who first pointed out the tragedy" to his condescending notice! The silence of the Mandarin towards his instructor is the more strange, as ingratitude is not the vice of the barbarian. An ingenious friend points out a skulking, unarmed straggler to a Cossack; the soldier makes him prisoner, cuts off his ears, slits his nose, bores his tongue, and, having mounted the captive behind him, in the cordial spirit of Nahum Tate," thanks his ingenious friend" for his information! But it is so; in this particular our Mandarin fails in comparison with the Cossack and with Nahum Tate. We now lay before the reader the Essay of Ching the Mandarin, who, it will be seen in his orders to the painter employed to copy the original picture-by whom taken to China remains unknown-has, with national exactness, given the birth and education not only of the author of Falstaff, but of Falstaff himself, together with glancing notices ofWindsor wives and Windsor soap. It is, perhaps, only due to the translator of "The Hygeist," to state that by our express solicitation he has a little lowered the orientalism of the original, whilst he has at the same time endeavoured to preserve the easy, conversational tone of the educated Chinese. "CHING TO TING. "I send, O Ting, from the barbarian ship, a picture of barbarians. Make one for your friend, like unto it; in size, in shape, and colour, even the same. But why should I waste words with Ting, whose pencil is true as the tongue of Confutzee? No; I will straightway deliver to him all my studies have made known to me of the barbarians, written on the canvas before him; for how can even Ting paint the faces of barbarians in their very truth, if he know not the history not only of themselves but of their fathers? ་ "The he barbarian with the big belly was called Forlstoff, and in time was known as Surgeon Forlstoff; from which, there is no doubt, he was a skilful leech in the army of the barbarian king, more of whom in good season. Forlstoff's father was one Shak, or Shake, Speare or Spear; for there have been great tumults among the barbarians about the e. In nothing does the ignorance of the English barbarians more lamentably discover itself than in the origin they obstinately give to their Shakspeare; who, according to them, was, like the great Brahme, hatched in an egg on the bank of a river, as may be seen in a thousand idle books in which he is called the swan of Haveone.' And this conceit was further manifested in the building of a place called the Swan Theatre,' where the barbarians were wont to worship. There is little known of Shakspeare's wife, Forlstoff's mother, and that little proves her to have been an idle person, given to great sleep and sloth, as is shown by her getting nothing at the death of her husband but his 'second-best bed.' "If Forlstoff would not, at a later time of life, leave off stealing, there is little doubt that he owed the fault to his father Shakspeare, who was forced to fly to London, which is a sacred city for all thieves, for having stolen an antelope, an animal consecrated to the higher kind of barbarians, and which it is death for the poor to touch. Indeed, the flesh of the antelope is to be eaten with safety by very few of the barbarians, it having killed even many of their Eldermen immediately after dinner. "When Shakspeare came to London he was poor and without friends, and he held the horses of the rich barbarians who came to worship at a temple on the banks of the river. In time, he learned to make shoes for the horses; and in such esteem are the shoes still held by the barbarians, that they are bought at any price, and nailed at the threshold of their houses and barns; for where they are nailed, the foolish natives think no fire, no pestilence will come, and no evil thing have any strength. Such is the silly idolatry of the barbarians. "At length Shakspeare got admitted into the temple; and there he showed himself master of the greatest arts; and he wrote charms upon paper which, it is said, will make a man weep or laugh with very happiness, will bring spirits from the sky and devils from the water,-will open the heart of a man and show what creeps within it,-will now snatch a crown from a king, and now put wings to the back of a beggar. And all this they say Shakspeare did, and studied not. No, beloved Ting, he was not like Sing, who, though but a poor cowherd, became wise by poring on his book spread between the horns of his cow, he travelling on her back. "And Shakspeare proceeded in his marvels, and he became rich; and even the queen of the barbarians was seen to smile at him, and once, with a burning look, to throw her glove at him; but Shakspeare, it is said, to the discomfiture of the queen, returned the glove, taking no further notice of the amatory invitation. "In a ripe season of his life, Shakspeare gave up conjuring, and returned to the village on the banks of the river Haveone, where, as it is ignorantly believed, he was hatched, and where he lived in the fulness of fortune. He had laid down his conjuring rod and taken off his gown, and passed for nothing more than a man, and it is said—though you, beloved Ting, who see the haughty eyes and curling noses of the lesser mandarins, can, after what I have writ of Shakspeare, hardly believe it-thought himself nothing more. "Shakspeare built himself a house and planted a tree. The house is gone, but the barbarians preserve bricks of it in their inner chambers, even-I tremble as I pen it—as we preserve the altars of our gods. "The tree was cut down by a fakir in a brain fever, but the wood is still worshipped. And this, oh Ting! I would not ask you to believe, had not your own eyes witnessed that wonderful tree,* the leaves whereof falling to the ground, become mice! Hence, learn, that the leaves of Shakspeare's mulberry have become men, and on a certain day every year, with mulberry boughs about their heads, their bodies clothed in their richest garments, they chant praises to the memory of Shakspeare, and drink wine to his name. "Shakspeare-Forlstoff's father, and the father of a hundred lusty sons and daughters, such as until that time had never been born, Shakspeare-died! He was buried in a chest of cedar, set about with plates of gold. On one of these plates was writ some magic words; for See Navarrete's "China" for the account of this tree; underneath which, we humbly suggest, it would be as well to keep a cat. thieves, breaking into the grave, were fixed and changed to stone; and are now to be seen even as they were first struck by the charm of the magician. And so much, beloved Ting, of Shakspeare, Forlstoff's father." That our Mandarin has herein displayed very popular abilities for the difficult task of a commentator, no one who has read many volumes of Shakspearian commentaries will, we believe, deny. It is observable that in many instances he makes his facts; a custom of particular advantage to the indulgence of the most peculiar opinions and conclusions. We have read some writers who, deprived of this privilege, would really have nothing to write upon. The pleasure of making a giant, great as it possibly may be, cannot be comparable to the delight of killing him, our own handiwork. If, however, our reader will bear with us, we will proceed with the labours of Ching on the character of Falstaff, and on those personages and events, directly and indirectly, associated with his glorious name. Falstaff in China! Jack Falstaff on a regimen of rice! "Forlstoff was born in the third hour of the morning; and at his birth, the roundness of his belly, and the whiteness of his head, betokened his future greatness. But little is known of his early life; save that he assisted in the temples of the barbarians, where his voice, once remarkable for its sweetness, became broken with the zeal of the singer. He then travelled with a juggler; and-if lying were not the especial vice of the barbarians-did greater wonders than even our own Yiyi. The Eldermen of London-so named, because chosen from the oldest inhabitants-are known by a ring upon the thumb; this ring, Forlstoff, to the admiration of the barbarian court, crept through and through like any worm, and was promoted by the king therefore. I should, however, do evil unto truth did I not advise you, O Ting, that this feat of Forlstoff seems greater than it really is: for a tame eagle being kept in the court of the king, it was afterwards discovered that a talon of the bird was something thicker than the waist of the said Forlstoff. "It is certain that Forlstoff, a short time after his feat with the ring, became a student in a place called Clemency-inn; which, as its name implies, is a temple wherein youths study to become meek and merciful, to love all men as brothers of their own flesh, and to despise the allurements of wealth. There was with him another student, called Robert Shaller, who afterwards became a Mandarin, or, in the barbarian tongue, a justice of the peace: being promoted to that office because he was like a double radish, and had his head carved with a knife. He was, when at Clemency-inn, drest in an eel-skin, and used to sleep in a luteHe lent Forlstoff what the barbarians call a thousand pounds, which Forlstoff was honest enough to-acknowledge. case. "I next find Forlstoff in company with one Princeal-the son of the barbarian king, and several thieves. Forlstoff-and here the vice of his father, Shakspeare, breaks out in the child-tempts the king's son to turn robber. He is, however, so ashamed of the wickedness, that he goes about it with a mask on his face, as a king's son ought. "Forlstoff falls into disgrace with Princeal, and is sent by him, with soldiers, to Coventry; that being a place in the barbarian country, where no man speaks to his neighbour. After some delay, Forlstoff marches through Coventry, to fight one Pursy, who can ride up a straight hill, and is therefore called Hotspur. Forlstoff fights with him by-that is, near a clock, and kills him, Princeal, the king's son, meanly endeavouring to deprive Forlstoff of the honour. "After the battle, Forlstoff goes to dine with the king at Wincer, which is the royal manufactory for soap. Forlstoff pretends to love two wives at the same time, and is put by them in what is called by the barbarians, a buck basket,—that is, a basket for the finer sort of barbarians, their word buck answering to our push, and meaning high, handsome, grand. He is flung into the river, and saves himself by swimming to a garter. He is afterwards punished, by being turned into the royal forest with horns upon his head, and chains upon his hands. Princeal, in time, becomes king, and discards Forlstoff, who goes home -goes to bed-does nothing but look at the ends of his fingers, talks of the green fields about Wincer, and dies. He "For the habits of Forlstoff, if they were not quite as virtuous as those of Fo, it was, perhaps, the fault of his times; for we have his own words to prove that they were once those of the best barbarians. swore but few oaths-gambled but once a day-paid his debts four times-and took recreation only when he cared for it. He loved sack -a liquor that has puzzled the heads of the learned-without eggs, and was extraordinarily temperate in bread. "His companions were thieves of the highest repute-but all, unhappily, died, and left no sons! "You will now, oh, wise and virtuous Ting, directed by these few and feeble words, paint me the picture of Forlstoff and his two wives." We put it to the impartial reader whether Ching, in the above estimate of the character of Falstaff, has not entitled himself to take rank with many Shakspearian commentators; and whether, if Lord Palmerston will not consent to ship a company of English actors to Canton, Ching should not be invited by the patrons of the British drama to preside in a London theatre. BIBO PERPLEXED. QUOTH Bibo one day, who his wits to renew Had a course of the classics gone recently through, (But whose thoughts on translating are somewhat peculiar, The meaning of Ovid's " Coctilibus Muris ;") Quoth he to a friend, "When this evening I dine, Some this have commended, some that have decried, By the body of Bacchus, 'tis hard to decide. It engenders within me ' dolorem infandum,' 6 Which implies, when the cloth is withdrawn from the table, Though he could decline hock, he would never refuse it. · Was his Missis sent down for a bottle of Rhenish? · Thus tenders, Non festa luce Madere. No Madeira on gala days! Well, I am thinking I am greatly surprised, too, and sorry to say so, At the double advice of Ovidius Naso,— Ne CAPE,'-no Cape, though your lips it before is; But he also has said, CAPE pignus Amoris,' Cape the pledge of true love?-No, no,-hearts to fetter, 'TENT anima sumpsit,' cries Ovid,—(the ninny 6 To drink it.) Again, Vinum TENT-at,' says Pliny. Then prithee avoid it, or vile potabis.' GRAVE Sisyphon urget,' writes Naso-(that's funny,) Vin de Grave it appears was the wine for his money. But Horace has shown that all do not admire it, By his, Terruit gentes ne GRAVE rediret.' Thus we see what a dread a fresh bottle created: But, if right I remember, he elsewhere has stated, • Crescit fama MARCELLI,' which we know without telling, Means,-What famous Marsala! but we've alter'd the spelling. "The Greeks, jolly dogs, with wivw, xiπwka, (As theirs half so moist I am certain was no clay,) Would doubtless confess, though till night you might rail on · But enough-thus we see what ab illis culpatur;' Ab his, on the other hand, often laudatur. Then as tasting is always considered the test ་ It is useless inquiring' Quid omnium rerum nunc, nunc est bibendum." A. A. C. |