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Fan. Shall I though, if I does as you bids me ?
Fan. Precious heart! He's a sweet gentleman ! Icod I have a great mind
Mer. What art thou thinking about?
490 Fan. I don't know what I am thinking about, not 1-Ha, ha, ha!—Twenty guineas !
Mer. I tell thee thou shalt have them.
Fan. Ha, ha, ha!-Why then I'll do whatever your honour pleases.
Mer. Stay here a little, to see that all keeps quiet : you'll find me presently at the mill, where we'll talk farther.
Yes, 'tis decreed, thou maid divine !
I must, I will possess thee :
To kiss, and call thee mine!
All other pleasures I resign.
Why should we dally ;
Let fortune smile or frown?
Love will attend us;
Love will befriend us;
Fan. What a dear kind soul he is-Here comes Ralph–I can tell him, unless he makes me his lawful wife, as he has often said he would, the devil a word more shall he speak to me.
Ral. So, Fan, where's the gentleman ?
Fan. How should I know where he is; what do you ask me for?
520 Ral. There's no harm in putting a civil question, be there? Why you look as cross and ill-natured
Fan. Well, mayhap I do--and mayhap I have where-withal for it.
Ral. Why, has the gentleman offered any thing uncivil? Ecod, I'd try a bout as soon as look at him.
Fan. He offer~10he's a gentleman every inch of him ; but you are sensible, Ralph, you have been promising me, a great while, this, and that, and t'other; and, when all comes to all, I don't see but you are like the rest of them.
531 Ral. Why, what is it I have promised ?
Fan. To marry me in the church, you have, a hundred times.
Ral. Well, and mayhap I will, if you'll have patience.
Fan. Patience! me no patience; you may do it now if you please.
Ral. Well, but suppose I don't please ? I tell you, Fan, you're a ol, and want to quarrel with your bread and butter; I have had anger enow from feyther already upon your account, and you want me to come by more. As I said, if you have patience, mayhap things may fall out, and mayhap not.
Fan. With all my heart, then; and now I know your mind, you may go hang yourself.
Ral. Ay, ay.
Ral. Well, and who cares for you, an you go to that?
550 Fan. A menial feller-Go mind your mill and your drudgery; I don't think you worthy to wipe my shoes-feller.
Ral. Nay, but Fan, keep a civil tongue in your head : odds flesh! I would fain know what Aly bites all of a sudden now.
Fan. Marry come up, the best gentlemen's sons in the country have made me proffers; and if one is a miss, be a miss to a gentleman, I say, that will give one fine clothes, and take one to see the show, and
put money in one's pocket.
Ral. Whu, whu—[Hits him a slap.] What's that for ?
Fan. What do you whistle for, then? Do you think I am a dog ?
Ral. Never from me, Fan, if I have not a mind to give you, with this switch in my hand here, as good a lacing
Fan. Touch me, if you dare : touch me, and I'll swear my life against you.
570 Ral. A murrain! with her damn'd little fist as hard as she could draw.
Fan. Well, it's good enough for you ; I'm not necessitated to take up with the impudence of such a low-lived monkey as you are. A gentleman's my friend, and I can have twenty guineas in my hand, all as good as this is.
Ral. Belike from this Londoner, eh?
Fan. Yes, from him—so you may take your promise of marriage; I don't value it that [spits] and if you speak to me, I'll slap your chops again.
Indeed ! Now I'll be judg’d by any soul living in the world, if ever there was a viler piece of treachery than this e; there is no such thing as a true friend upon the face of the globe, and so I have said a hundred times ! A couple of base deceitful-after all my love and kindness shewn! Well, I'll be revenged; see an I be’nt-Marster Marvint, that's his name, an he do not sham it: he has come here and disguised unself; whereof 'tis contrary to law so to do : besides, I do partly know why he did it; and I'll fish out the whole conjuration, and go up to the castle and tell every syllable ; a shan't carry a wench from me, were he twenty times the mon he is, and twenty times to that again ; and moreover than so, the first time I meet un, I'll knock un down, tho's 'twas before my lord himself; and he may capias me for it afterwards an he wull.
As they count me such a ninny,
So to let them rule the roast;
They have scor'd without their host.