TABLE-TALK.

POGGIANA.*

I. THE MADMAN OF MILAN.

A PHYSICIAN at Milan undertook to cure madmen within a certain time. His plan was, to place the patient in a bath of dirty water up to the knees, or deeper, according to the extent of his disorder, and to leave him there fastened till he showed signs of returning reason. One day a madman was brought to him, whom he put into the water up to the middle. When he had been there a fortnight, he begged the physician to let him out, which he did, on condition that he should not go beyond the court of the house. As he was walking up and down the court, a gentleman rode up, with hawks and hounds. "Would you inform me," said the madman to him, "what is the name of that animal you are sitting upon, and what use you make of him?" -"He is a horse for hunting," said the gentleman. "And the bird you have on your wrist, and these

From the Facetia and Poggiana of Poggio.

creatures that follow you?" continued the madman. These," said the gentleman," are hawks and hounds for catching game." "And what may be the value of the game which it costs you so much trouble to catch ?"-" Why, very little-some six or seven ducats.". "And the expense of the horses and dogs?". "Why, fifty perhaps."-" Ah!" said the madman, "make off as fast as possible before my physician comes, for if he catch you here, he will put you into the water up to the very chin."

There was a young Gascon gentleman at Constance, named Bonac, who rose every morning very late. As his comrades used to rally him upon his laziness—“ I am obliged," said he, " to listen every morning to a long pleading between laziness and diligence. The latter exhorts me to get up, and employ myself in something useful; the other ingeniously pleads the comfort of a warm bed, and that rest is better than labour. I listen to the pleadings on both sides, till matters are made up; and this is the cause of my late rising."

III. LENT.

In a small village among the Apennines, the priest was so ignorant, that not being himself aware of the annual feasts, he never announced them to his congregation. Having gone to Terranuova one day, and seeing the priests preparing their branches of olive and palm for next day, he found he had totally forgot to announce Lent to his flock. Having returned eight days afterwards, he made the palm branches be gathered, and, addressing his congregation, said, "To-morrow, my friends, is Palm Sunday. Easter will take place next week; we shall fast during this week only, for Lent has come

later this year, in consequence of the cold weather and bad roads." *

IV. NOTHING.

A man who had lost all his money at play, was seen by a comrade shedding tears. He asked him what he had to weep for. "Nothing," replied the gamester. "Why then do you weep?" said the other. "Simply because I have nothing," replied his friend.

V. A SHORT SERMON.

On St Stephen's day, a monk was appointed to pronounce a long eulogium upon the saint. As the day was pretty well advanced, the priests, who were getting hungry, and were apprehensive of a tedious panegyric, whispered to their comrade to be brief. The monk mounted the pulpit, and, after a short preamble, said, “ My brethren, it is only about a year since I told you all I knew about St Stephen. As I have heard nothing new with regard to him since that time, I shall add nothing to what I said before." And so, making the sign of the cross, he walked off.

VI. ANTONIO LUSCO.

An inhabitant of Ancona, a great talker, one day lamenting, in a very tragic tone, the decline of the Roman empire, as if it had been a recent event, Antonio Lusco, the secretary of Martin V., and friend of Poggio, said to him laughingly, "You put me in mind of the Milanese, who, bearing of the death of Orlando some six or seven hundred years before, went immediately to communicate the affecting intelligence to his wife, saying, Ah!

On this anecdoto Gresset has founded his Carême im2 promptu.

what a misfortune; I have just learned the death of Orlando, the champion of the Christians.""

VII. THE VENETIAN.

Another of Lusco's stories, was that of a Venetian who had gone on horseback to Sienna, and happened to lodge at an inn where a large party of horsemen were assembled. Next morning, when they were about to set out, every one mounted except the Venetian, who sat quietly in his place. Lusco asked him why he kept loitering there, when all the rest were mounted. "Oh!" said the Venetian, “I am quite ready to go; but as I had no chance of finding my horse among so many, I waited till the rest should be mounted, because then the one that is left must be mine."

VIII. THE ORATOR OF PERUGIA.

The town of Perugia having sent deputics to Urban V., who was then at Avignon, they found this pontiff sick in bed. The orator of the embassy made him a long speech, without paying any regard to his indisposition, and without ever coming to the point. When he had done, the Pope asked them whether they had anything else to state. Seeing that he was heartily tired, they said, "Our instructions are, to declare to your Holiness, that if you do not grant us what we ask, our orator will make his speech over again before we go." The Pope granted the demand instantly.

IX. CONSOLATION.

An inhabitant of Perugia, who was much in debt, was walking along the street with a very melancholy air. Some one asked him what was the cause of his melancholy. "I am in debt," said he, " and I have nothing to pay."- "Well," said the other, "let your creditors think of that."

X. A DEXTEROUS KNAVE.

A Florentine notary, who had little employment, bethought himself of the following expedient to raise money. Having called on a young man whose father was lately dead, he asked him whether he had received payment of a certain sum which his father had lent to another person who had also died shortly before. The son told him he had not found any such debt among his father's papers. "I drew the obligation with my own hands," said the notary, " and have it in my possession; you have only to make me a reasonable allowance for it." The young man purchased the forged deed, and cited the son of the alleged debtoľ. The defendant maintained, that it appeared by his father's books that he had never borrowed a farthing; and immediately called on the notary to tax him with the forgery. "Young man," said the notary, you were not born when this sum was borrowed; but your father paid it back at the end of six months, and I am in possession of the discharge. You have nothing to do but to make me a reasonable allowance for it." The young man did so, and thus the notary chcated both plaintiff and defendant.

XI. THE CORPULENT MONK.

A monk of extreme corpulence, coming very late one evening to the gates of Florence, asked if he could get in. "Oh, yes," said a countryman, to whom he had put the question, "a cart of hay can get in."

XII. HOW TO CURE THE SICK.

The Cardinal de Bar had an hospital at Verceil, where a great number of invalids were maintained. The intendant of his finances seeing that the pro