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Nest. I would, my arms could match thee in con- As to prenominate in nice conjecture, tention,

Where thou wilt hit me dead? As they contend with thee in courtesy.


I tell thee, yea. Hect. I would they could.

Hect. Wert thou an oracle to tell me so, Nest. Ha!

I'd not believe thee. Henceforth guard thee well : By this white beard, I'd fight with thee to-morrow. For I'll not kill thee there, nor there, nor there; Well, welcome, welcome! I have seen the time But, by the forge that stithied Mars his belm,

Ulyss. I wonder now how yonder city stands, I'll kill thee every where, yea, o'er and o'er. When we have here her base and pillar by us. You wisest Grecians, pardon me this brag,

Hect. I know your favour, lord Ulysses, well. His insolence draws folly from my lips ;
Ah, sir, there's many a Greek and Trojan dead, But I'll endeavour deed to match these words,
Since first I saw yourself and Diomed

Or may I never
In Ilion, on your Greekish embassy.


Do not chafe thee, cousin; Ulyss. Sir, I foretold you then what would And you Achilles, let these threats alone,

Till accident, or purpose, bring you to't : My prophecy is but half his journey yet ;

You may have every day enough of Hector, For yonder walls, that pertly front your town, If you have stomach ; the general state, I fear, Yon towers, whose wanton tops do buss the clouds, Can scarce entreat you to be odd with him. Must kiss their own feet.

Hect. I pray you, let us see you in the field; Hect.

I must not believe you: We have had pelting wars, since you refus'd
There they stand yet; and modestly I think, The Grecians' cause.
The fall of every Phrygian stone will cost


Dost thou entreat me, Hector ? A drop of Grecian blood : The end crowns all; To-morrow, do I meet thee, fell as death; And that old common arbitrator, time,

To-night, all friends. Will one day end it.


Thy hand upon that match. Ulyss. So to him we leave it.

Agam. First, all you peers of Greece, go to my Most gentle, and most valiant Hector, welcome

tent; After the general, I beseech you next

There in the full convive we : afterwards, To feast with me, and see me at my tent.

As Hector's leisure, and your bounties shall Achil. I shall forestall thee, lord Ulysses, thou ! Concur together, severally entreat him. — Now, Hector, I have fed mine eyes on thee : Beat loud the tabourines, let the trumpets blow, I have with exact view perus'd thee, Hector, That this great soldier may his welcome know. And quoted joint by joint.

[Ereunt all but Troilus and ULYSSES. Hect. Is this Achilles ?

Tro. My lord Ulysses, tell me, I beseech you, Achi. I am Achilles.

In what place of the field doth Calchas keep? Hect. Stand fair, I pray thee : let me look on thee. Ulyss. At Menelaus' tent, most princely Troilus : Achil. Behold thy fill.

There Diomed doth feast with him to-night; Hect.

Nay, I have done already. Who neither looks upon the heaven, nor earth, Achil. Thou art to brief; I will the second But gives all gaze and bent of amorous view time,

On the fair Cressid.
As I would buy thee, view thee limb by limb. Tro. Shall I, sweet lord, be bound to you so
Hect. O, like a book of sport thou'lt read me o'er ;

But there's more in me, than thou understand'st After we part from Agamemnon's tent,
Why dost thou so oppress me with thine eye ? To bring me thither?
Achil. Tell me, you heavens, in which part of Ulyss.

You shall command me, sir. his body

As gentle tell me, of what honour was Shall I destroy him ? whether there, there, or there? This Cressida in Troy? Hlad she no lover there, That I may give the local wound a name ;

That wails her absence? And make distinct the very breach whereout

Tro. O, sir, to such as boasting show their scars, Hector's great spirit flew : Answer me, heavens ! A mock is due. Will you walk on, my lord ? Hect. It would discredit the bless'd gods, proud She was belov'd, she lov'd; she is, and doth : man,

But, still, sweet love is food for fortune's tooth. To answer such a question : Stand again :

Ereuu Think'st thou to catch my life so pleasantly,


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Patr. Well said, Adversity! and what need these tricks?


Achil. Welcome, brave Hector; welcome, princes all.

Ther. Pr'ythee be silent, boy; I profit not by thy talk thou art thought to be Achilles' male varlet.

Patr. Male varlet, you rogue! what's that? Ther. Why, his masculine whore. Now the rotten diseases of the south, the guts griping, ruptures, catarrhs, loads o'gravel i'the back, lethargies, cold palsies, raw eyes, dirt-rotten livers, wheezing lungs, bladders full of imposthume, sciaticas, limekilns i'the palm, incurable bone-ach, and the rivelled fee-simple of the tetter, take and take again such preposterous discoveries!

Patr. Why thou damnable box of envy, thou,

what meanest thou to curse thus ?

Ther. Do I curse thee?

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Achil. My sweet Patroclus, I am thwarted quite

From my great purpose in to-morrow's battle.
Here is a letter from queen Hecuba;
A token from her daughter, my fair love;
Both taxing me, and gaging me to keep

An oath that I have sworn. I will not break it:
Fall, Greeks: fail, fame; honour, or go, or stay;
My major vow lies here, this I'll obey.
Come, come, Thersites, help to trim my tent;
This night in banqueting must all be spent.
Away, Patroclus.

[Exeunt ACHIJ LES and PATROCLUS. Ther. With too much blood and too little brain, these two may run mad; but if with too much brain, and too little blood, they do, I'll be a curer of madmen. Here's Agamemnon, · - an honest fellow enough, and one that loves quails; but he has not so much brain as ear-wax: And the goodly transformation of Jupiter there, his brother, the bull, - the primitive statue, and oblique memorial of cuckolds; a thrifty shoeing-horn in a chain, hanging at his brother's leg, to what form, but that he is, should wit larded with malice, and malice forced with wit, turn him to? To an ass, were nothing; he is both ass and ox: to an ox were nothing; he is both ox and ass. To be a dog, a mule, a cat, a fitchew, a toad, a lizard, an owl, a puttock, or a herring without a roe, I would not care but to be Menelaus, I would conspire against destiny. Ask me not what I would be, if I were not Thersites; for I care not to be the louse of a lazar, so I were not Menelaus. - Hey-day! spirits and fires!


Agam. We go wrong, we go wrong.

There, where we see the lights.

Agam. So now, fair prince of Troy, I bid good night.

Ajax commands the guard to tend on you.

Hect. Thanks, and good night, to the Greeks' general.


Men. Good night, my lord. Hect. Good night, sweet Menelaus. Ther. Sweet draught: Sweet, quoth 'a! sweet sink, sweet sewer.

Achil. Good night,

And welcome, both to those that go, or tarry.
Agam. Good night.

[Exeunt AGAMEMNON and MENELAUS. Achil. Old Nestor tarries; and you too, Diomed, Keep Hector company an hour or two.

Dio. I cannot, lord; I have important business, The tide whereof is now.-Good night, great Hector. Hect. Give me your hand. Follow his torch, he goes


To Calchas' tent; I'll keep you company.

[Aside to TROILUS. And so good night. [Erit DIOMED; ULYSS. and TRO. following. Achil. Come, come, enter my tent.

Tro. Sweet sir, you honour me.

[Exeunt ACHIL. HECTOR, AJAX, and NEST. Ther. That same Diomed's a false-hearted rogue, a most unjust knave; I will no more trust him when he leers, than I will a serpent when he hisses: he will spend his mouth, and promise, like Brabler the hound; but when he performs, astronomers foretell it; it is prodigious, there will come some change; the sun borrows of the moon, when Diomed keeps his word. I will rather leave to see Hector, than not to dog him: they say, he keeps a Trojan drab, and uses the traitor Calchas' tent: I'll after. Nothing but lechery! all incontinent varlets! [Exit.

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Enter TROILUS and ULYSSES, at a distance; after them THERSITES.

Ulyss. Stand where the torch may not discover us. Enter CRESSIDA.

Tro. Cressid come forth to him! Dio. How now, my charge? Cres. Now my sweet guardian! — Hark! a word with you. [Whispers.

No, yonder 'tis ;

I trouble you.

Ajar. No, not a whit. Ulyss.

Here comes himself to guide you.


Tro. Yea, so familiar!

Ulyss. She will sing any man at first sight.

Ther. And any man may sing her, if he can take

her cliff; she's noted.

Dio. Will you remember?


Remember? yes.


Nay, but do then;

And let your mind be coupled with your words.

Tro. What should she remember?
Ulyss. List!


me do?

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('rom Sweet honey Greek, tempt me no more to Tro. O beauty! where's thy faith? folly.


My lord, Ther. Roguery!

Tro. I will be patient; outwardly I will. Dio. Nay, then,

Cres. You look upon that sleeve: Behold it Cres. I'll tell you what :

well. Dio. Pho! pho! come, tell a pin : You are for- | He lov'd me - - 0 false wench! - Give't me again.

Dio. Whose was't ? Cres. In faith, I cannot: What would you have Cres.

No matter, now I have't again.

I will not meet with you to-morrow night : Ther. A juggling trick, to be — secretly open. I pr’ythee, Diomed, visit me no more. Dio. What did you swear you would bestow on Ther. Now she sharpens ; Well said, whet

stone. Cres. I pr’ythee, do not hold me to mine oath ; Dio. I shall have it. Bid me do any thing but that, sweet Greek.


What, this? Dio. Good night.


Ay, that. Tro. Hold, patience !

Cres. O, all you gods ! - 0 pretty pretty Ulyss. How now, Trojan ?

pledge! Cres.

Diomed, Thy master now lies thinking in his bed Dio. No, no, good night : I'll be your fool no Of thee, and me; and sighs, and takes my glove,

And gives memorial dainty kisses to it, Tro. Thy better must.

As I kiss thee. – Nay, do not snatch it from me ; Cres.


word in your ear. He, that takes that, must take my heart withal. Tro. O plague and madness!

Dio. I had your heart before, this follows it. Ulyss. You are mov'd, prince ; let us depart, I Tr I did swear patience. pray you,

Cres. You shall not have it, Diomed; 'faith you Lest your displeasure should enlarge itself

shall not ; To wrathful terms ; this place is dangerous; I'll give you something else. The time right deadly ; I beseech you, go.

Dio. I will have this; Whose was it? Tro. Behold, I pray you !


'Tis no matter Ulyss.

Now, good my lord, go oft : Dio. Come, tell me whose it was. You flow to great destruction; come, my lord. Cres. 'Twas one's that loved me better than you Tro. I pr’ythee, stay.

will. Ulyss.

You bave not patience ; come. But, now you have it, take it. Tro. I pray you, stay; by hell, and all hell's Dio.

Whose was it? torments,

Cres. By all Diana's waiting-women, yonder, I will not speak a word.

And by herself, I will not tell you whose. Dio.

And so, good night. Dio. To-morrow will I wear it on my helm; Cres. Nay, but you part in anger.

And grieve his spirit, that dares not challenge it. Tro.

Doth that grieve thee? Tro. Wert thou the devil, and wor'st it on thy O wither'd truth !

horn, Ulyss. Why, how now, lord ?

It should be challeng'd. Tro.

Cres. Well, well, 'tis done, 'tis past ; — And yet I will be patient.

it is not ; Cres.

Guardian ! -- why, Greek! I will not keep my word. Dio. Pho, pho! adieu ; you palter.


Why then, farewell ; Cres. In faith, I do not ;, come hither once again. Thou never shalt mock Diomed again. Ulyss. You shake, my lord, at something; will Cres. You shall not go : - One cannot speak a you go?

word, You will break out.

But it straight starts you.
She strokes his cheek !


I do not like this fooling. Ulyss.

Come, come. Ther. Nor I, by Pluto : but that that likes not Tro. Nay, stay; by Jove, I will not speak a you, pleases me best. word :

Dio. What, shall I come ? the hour ? There is between my will and all offences


Ay, come :- 0 Jove! A guard of patience : - stay a little while.

Do come: - I shall be plagu'd. Ther. How the devil luxury, with his fat rump, Dio.

Farewell till then. and potatoe finger, tickles these together! Fry, Cres. Good night. I pr’ythee, come. lechery, fry!

[Erit DIOMEDES Dio. But will you then ?

Troilus, farewell! one eye yet looks on thee; Cres. In faith, I will, la : never trust me else. But with my heart the other eye doth see. Dio. Give me some token for the surety of it. Ah! poor our sex! this fault in us I find, Cres. I'll fetch you one.

(Erit. The error of our eye directs our mind : Ulyss. You have sworn patience.

What error leads, must err; 0 then conclude, Tro.

Fear me not, my lord; | Minds, sway'd by eyes, are full of turpitude. I will not be myself, nor have cognition

(Erit CRESSIDA. Of what I feel; I am all patience.

Ther. A proof of strength she could not publisk

more, Re-enter Cressida.

Unless she said, My mind is now turn'd whore. Ther. Now the pledge ; now, now, now !

Ulyss. All's done, my lord. Cres. Here, Diomed, keep this sleeve.


It is.

By Jove,

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Why stay we then?
Tro. To make a recordation to my soul
Of every syllable that here was spoke.
But, if I tell how these two did co-act,
Shall I not lie in publishing a truth?
Sith yet there is a credence in my heart,
An esperance so obstinately strong,

That doth invert the attest of eyes and ears;
As if those organs had deceptious functions,
Created only to calumniate.

Was Cressid here?


I cannot conjure, Trojan.

Tro. She was not, sure.

Most sure she was.

Tro. Why, my negation hath no taste of madness.
Ulyss. Nor mine, my lord: Cressid was here but


Tro. Let it not be believ'd for womanhood! Think, we had mothers; do not give advantage To stubborn criticks - apt, without a theme, For depravation, -to square the general sex By Cressid's rule: rather think this not Cressid. Ulyss. What hath she done, prince, that can soil our mothers?

Tro. Nothing at all, unless that this were she. Ther. Will he swagger himself out on's own eyes?

Tro. This she? no, this is Diomed's Cressida : If beauty have a soul, this is not she;

If souls guide vows, if vows be sanctimony,
If sanctimony be the gods' delight,

If there be rule in unity itself,

This was not she. O madness of discourse,
That cause sets up with and against itself!
Bi-fold authority! where reason can revolt
Without perdition, and loss assume all reason
Without revolt; this is, and is not, Cressid!
Within my soul there doth commence a fight
Of this strange nature, that a thing inseparate
Divides more wider than the sky and earth;
And yet the spacious breadth of this division
Admits no orifice for a point, as subtle
As is Arachne's broken roof, to enter.
Instance, O instance! strong as Pluto's gates;
Cressid is mine, tied with the bonds of heaven:
Instance, O instance! strong as heaven itself;
The bonds of heaven are slipp'd, dissolv'd, and

And with another knot, five-finger-tied,
The fractions of her faith, orts of her love,
The fragments, scraps, the bits, and greasy reliques
Of her o'er-eaten faith, are bound to Diomed.
Ulyss. May worthy Troilus be half attach'd
With that which here his passion doth express?
Tro. Ay, Greek; and that shall be divulged

In characters as red as Mars his heart
Inflam'd with Venus: never did young man fancy
With so eternal and so fix'd a soul.
Hark, Greek; As much as I do Cressid love,
So much by weight hate I her Diomed:
That sleeve is mine, that he'll bear on his helm ;
Were it a casque compos'd by Vulcan's skill,
My sword should bite it: not the dreadful spout,
Which shipmen do the hurricano call
Constring'd in mass by the almighty sun,
Shall dizzy with more clamour Neptune's ear
In his descent, than shall my prompted sword
Falling on Diomed.

Ther. He'll tickle it for his concupy.

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Ene. I have been seeking you this hour, my lord:

Hector, by this, is arming him in Troy ;
Ajax, your guard, stays to conduct you home.
Tro. Have with you, prince: - My courteous
lord, adieu :-

Farewell, revolted fair! — and, Diomed,
Stand fast, and wear a castle on thy head!
Ulyss. I'll bring you to the gates.

Tro. Accept distracted thanks.

[Exeunt TROILUS, ENEAS, and ULYSSFS Ther. 'Would, I could meet that rogue Diomed! I would croak like a raven; I would bode, I would bode. Patroclus will give me any thing for the intelligence of this whore: the parrot will not do more for an almond, than he for a commodious drab. Lechery, lechery; still, wars and lechery; nothing else holds fashion: A burning devil take [Exit.


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How now, young man? mean'st thou to fight to-day And. Cassandra, call my father to persuade. [Erit CASSANDra.

Hect. No, 'faith, young Troilus; doff thy harness,


I am to-day i'the vein of chivalry:

Let grow thy sinews till their knots be strong,
And tempt not yet the brushes of the war.
Unarm thee, go; and doubt thou not, brave boy,
I'll stand, to-day, for thee, and me, and Troy.

Tro. Brother, you have a vice of mercy in you, Which better fits a lion, than a man.

Hect. What vice is that, good Troilus? chide me for it.

Tro. When many times the captive Grecians fall, Even in the fan and wind of your fair sword, You bid them rise and live.

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Hect. Troilus, I would not have you fight to-day.
Tro. Who should withhold me?

Not fate, obedience, nor the hand of Mars
Beckoning with fiery truncheon my retire;
Not Priamus, and Hecuba on knees,
Their eyes o'ergalled with recourse of tears;
Nor you, my brother, with your true sword drawn,
Oppos'd to hinder me, should stop my way,
But by my ruin.

Re-enter CASSANDRA, with PRIAM.

Cas. Lay hold upon him, Priam, hold him fast: He is thy crutch; now if thou lose thy stay, Thou on him leaning, and all Troy on thee, Fall all together.


Come, Hector, come, go back : Thy wife hath dream'd; thy mother hath had

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Hect. And I do stand engag'd to many Greeks, Even in the faith of valour, to appear This morning to them.


But thou shalt not go. Hect. I must not break my faith. You know me dutiful; therefore, dear sir, Let me not shame respect; but give me leave To take that course by your consent and voice, Which you do here forbid me, royal Priam. Cas. O Priam, yield not to him. And. Do not, dear father. Hect. Andromache, I am offended with you : Upon the love you bear me, get you in.

[Erit ANDROMACHE. Tro. This foolish, dreaming superstitious girl Makes all these bodements.


O farewell, dear Hector.

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Tro. They are at it; hark! Proud Diomed, believe,

I come to lose my arm, or win my sleeve.

AS TROILUS is going out, enter, from the other side,

Pan. Do you hear, my lord? do you hear?
Tro. What now?

Pan. Here's a letter from yon' poor girl.
Tro. Let me read.

Pan. A whoreson ptisick, a whoreson rascally ptisick so troubles me, and the foolish fortune of this girl; and what one thing, what another, that I shall leave you one o'these days: And I have a rheum in mine eyes too; and such an ache in my bones, that, unless a man were cursed, I cannot tell what to think on't. What says she there?


Words, words, mere words, no matter from
the heart;
[Tearing the letter.

The effect doth operate another way.

Go, wind, to wind, there turn and change toge


My love with words and errors still she feeds; But edifies another with her deeds.


[Exeunt severally.

Between Troy and the Grecian

Alarums: Excursions. Enter THERSITES.

Ther. Now they are clapper-clawing one another; I'll go look on. That dissembling abominable varlet, Diomed, has got that same scurvy doting foolish young knave's sleeve of Troy there in his helm: I would fain see them meet; that that same young Trojan ass, that loves the whore there, might send that Greekish whoremasterly villain, with the sleeve, back to the dissembling luxurious drab, on a sleeveless errand. O' the other side, The policy of those crafty swearing rascals, - that stale old mouse-eaten dry cheese, Nestor; and that same dog-fox, Ulysses, —is not proved worth a blackberry : — They set me up, in policy, that mongrel cur, Ajax, against that dog of as bad a kind, Achilles: and now is the cur Ajax prouder than the cur Achilles, and will not arm to-day; whereupon the Grecians begin to proclaim barbarism, and policy grows into an ill opinion. Soft! here come sleeve, and t'other.

Enter DIOMEDES, TROILUS following. Tro. Fly not; for, shouldst thou take the rive Styx,

Look, how thou diest! look, how thy eye turns pale! I would swim after.

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