"And now," said he, "tell me, where mean you to move? I hope to some spot where your trade will improve.”

"Why, sir," replied one with a grin on his phiz,

"Tom Forge moves to my shop, and I move to his!"

Anonymous.

CCCXX.

NONGTONGPAW.

JOHN Bull for pastime took a prance,
Some time ago, to peep at France;

To talk of sciences and arts,

And knowledge gained in foreign parts.
Monsieur, obsequious, heard him speak,
And answered John in heathen Greek:
To all he asked, 'bout all he saw,

"T was "Monsieur, je vous n'entends pas."

John, to the Palais-Royal came,
Its splendor almost struck him dumb.
"I say, whose house is that there here?"
"House! Je vous n'entends pas, Monsieur."
"What, Nongtongpaw again!" cries John;
"This fellow is some mighty Don :
No doubt he's plenty for the maw,
I'll breakfast with this Nongtongpaw."

John saw Versailles from Marlé's height,
And cried, astonished at the sight,
"Whose fine estate is that there here?"
"State! Je vous n'entends pas, Monsieur."

"His? What the land and houses too?

The fellow's richer than a Jew:

On everything he lays his claw !

I should like to dine with Nongtongpaw."

Next tripping came a courtly fair,
John cried, enchanted with her air,

"What lovely wench is that there here?
"Ventch! Je vous n'entends pas,
Monsieur."
'What, he again? Upon my life!
A palace, lands, and then a wife

66

Sir Joshua might delight to draw:

I should like to sup with Nongtongpaw.

But hold! whose funeral's that?" cries John.

"Je vous n'entends pas.". "What, is he gone? Wealth, fame, and beauty could not save

Poor Nongtongpaw then from the grave!
His race is his
run, game is up,

I'd with him breakfast, dine and sup;

But since he chooses to withdraw,

Good-night t'ye, Mounseer Nongtongpaw."

CCCXXI.

THE SWELL'S SOLILOQUY ON THE WAR.

I

DON'T appwove this hawid waw ;

Those dweadful bannahs hawt my eyes;
And guns and dwums are such a baw,
Why don't the pawties compwamise?

Of cawce, the twoilet has its chawms;
But why must all the vulgah crowd
Pawsist in spawting unifawms
In cullaws so extwemely loud?

And then the ladies-pwecious deahs!
I mawk the change on ev'wy bwow;
Bai Jove! I weally have
I weally have my feahs

They wathah like the howid wow!

To hear the chawming cweatures talk,
Like patwons of the bloody wing,
Of waw and all its dawty wawk, -
It does n't seem a pwappah thing!

C. Dibdin

I called at Mrs. Gween's last night,
To see her niece, Miss Mary Hertz,
And found her making — cwushing sight!
The weddest kind of flannel shirts!

Of cawce I wose and saught the daw,
With fewy flashing from my eyes!
I can't appwove this hawid waw ;

Why don't the pawties compwamise?

Vanity Fair

CCCXXII.

THE ALARMED SKIPPER.

MANY

ANY a long, long year ago,

Nantucket skippers had a plan

Of finding out, though "lying low,"

How near New York their schooners ran.

They greased the lead before it fell,

And then, by sounding through the night,
Knowing the soil that stuck, so well,
They always guessed their reckoning right.

A skipper gray, whose eyes were dim,

Could tell by tasting, just the spot, And so below, he'd "dowse the glim," After, of course, his "something hot."

Snug in his berth, at eight o'clock,

This ancient skipper might be found; No matter how his craft would rock,

-

He slept, for skippers' naps are sound!

The watch on deck would now and then

Run down and wake him, with the lead;

He'd up and taste, and tell the men
How many miles they went ahead.

One night, 't was Jotham Marden's watch,

"We're all a set of stupid fools,

To think the skipper knows by tasting, What ground he's on; Nantucket schools Don't teach such stuff, with all their basting!"

And so he took the well-greased lead,

And rubbed it o'er a box of earth

That stood on deck

- (a parsnip bed), And then he sought the skipper's berth.

“Where are we now, sir, please to taste.”

The skipper yawned, put out his tongue, Then oped his eyes in wondrous haste,

And then upon the floor he sprung!

The skipper stormed, and tore his hair,

Thrust on his boots, and roared to Marden, "Nantucket 's sunk, and here we are

Right over old Marm Hackett's garden!"