Oh how the ponds and rivers boiled, And oaks were scattered on the ground, And all above was in a howl, And all below a clatter, It chanced to be our washing-day, I saw the shirts and petticoats That night I saw them in my dreams, How changed from what I knew them! The dews had steeped their faded thread, The winds had whistled through them; I saw the wide and ghastly rents, Where demon claws had torn them; I have had many happy years, But those young pantaloons have gone Forever and forever! And not till fate has cut the last Of all my earthly stitches, This aching heart shall cease to mourn My loved, my long-lost breeches! O. W. Holmes. CCCXVIII. LOVE AND MURDER. N Manchester a maiden dwelt, IN Her name was Phoebe Brown; Her cheeks were red, her hair was black, And she was considered by good judges to be by all odds the best looking girl in town. Her age was nearly seventeen, Her eyes were sparkling bright; A very lovely girl she was, And for about a year and a half there had been a young man paying his attention to her, by the name of Reuben Wright. Now Reuben was a nice young man As any in the town, And Phoebe loved him very dear, But, on account of his being obliged to work for a living, he never could make himself agreeeble to old Mr. and Mrs. Brown. Her parents were resolved Another she should wed, A rich old miser in the place, And old Brown frequently declared, that rather than have his daughter marry Reuben Wright, he'd sooner knock him in the head. But Phoebe's heart was brave and strong, She feared not her parents' frowns; And as for Reuben Wright so bold, I've heard him say more than fifty times that (with the exception of Phœbe) he did n't care a cent for the whole race of Browns. So Phoebe Brown and Reuben Wright Three weeks ago last Tuesday night, They started for old Parson Webster's, determined to be united in the holy bonds of matrimony, though it was tremendous dark, and rained like the old Harry. But Captain Brown was wide awake, He loaded up his gun, And then pursued the loving pair; He overtook 'em when they'd got about half way to the Parson's, and then Reuben and Phoebe started off upon the run. and had the stone dead. Old Brown then took a deadly aim But, oh! it was a bleeding shame, He made a mistake, and shot his only daughter, unspeakable anguish of seeing her drop right down Then anguish filled young Reuben's heart, And vengeance crazed his brain, He drew an awful jack-knife out, And plunged it into old Brown about fifty or sixty times, so that it's very doubtful about his ever coming to again. And in this melancholy and heart-rending manner terminates the history of Reuben and Phoebe, and likewise old Captain Brown. Anonymous. A CCCXIX. THE REMOVAL. NERVOUS old gentleman, tired of trade, By which, though, it seems, he a fortune had made, — Took a house 'twixt two sheds, at the skirts of the town, Which he meant, at his leisure, to buy and pull down. This thought struck his mind when he viewed the estate; At six in the morning, their anvils, at work, From morning till night they keep thumping away, He offered each Vulcan to purchase his shop; 66 Agreed!" said the pair; "that will make us amends." "Then come to my house, and let us part friends; You shall dine; and we 'll drink on this joyful occasion, That each may live long in his new habitation." He gave the two blacksmiths a sumptuous regale; |