to convict, to talk frequently with them on religion, and to pray for them.

RESOLVED to avoid a stoical severity in my deportment, and to win, by a kind, affable address, the confidence and friendship of those whom it is my duty to serve.

RESOLVED to keep up an epistolary correspondence with a number of pious faithful friends, and not forget them in my prayers.

RESOLVED to avoid intimacies with the wicked.

RESOLVED to retire to rest by nine, to arise (unless it becomes necessary to have different hours in the winter) by five; to devote to reading and transcribing from the Bible and to devotion all the time until eight; exercise until nine; study until twelve; rest until two; study until five; exercise, rest or visit, until night; necessary visits and company excepted.

RESOLVED to begin early in the week to write my sermons, and to endeavor to keep some sermons beforehand.

All which resolutions may God, in his boundless mercy, enable me to keep unto the end, unless he shall convince me of the propriety of making some alterations in them. Amen.

Sabbath, July 16. I find that one great cause of coldness and barrenness in religion is the indulgence of vain, worldly, romantic thoughts. Therefore,

RESOLVED to employ my mind, when not engaged on other necessary subjects, in profitable contemplations.

How much more knowledge might I store up by a due observance of this rule one year, than I have gained in all my life. May God enable me to keep this resolution, for without him I have learned that I can do nothing. I find that my spiritual enemies will never be overcome without a most diligent watch kept up against them, and without a life of prayer. I would, therefore, though my own weakness is evident, wish to RESOLVE evermore to "watch and pray that I enter not into temptation."

Wednesday, July 26th. Last night a young man came to converse with me, who I never knew was serious, but who has at turns been anxious for himself these several years, and

has, in the course of the last two months, indulged a hope. The occasion, I must say, was exceedingly joyful and animating to me. It encouraged me to hope that God was again returning among us. After he went away I had the most precious season that I have had these fifteen months. My soul went forth, as I really thought, in prayer for this precious people, and for Zion at large. My greatest desire seemed to be for these objects. I could scarcely think or pray for any thing else. I was, as I frequently have been of late, affevod with the great things which God is doing for Zion at the present day. O may thy kingdom come!

Sabbath evening, July 30th. I view it a matter of so much importance to ascertain with precision my true character, that I have

RESOLVED to write down carefully the result of every examination, whenever I can bring my mind to any point; that, by a retrospective survey of my exercises, I may always have

before my eyes the summary of the evidence in favor of my adoption. In this part of my memoirs I resolve to observe, if possible, a more scrupulous exactness than in any other. God forbid that I should flatter myself where flattery may prove everlastingly fatal!

EXAMINATION. I have been endeavoring to determine the grounds of my uneasiness in view of my conduct this day. Can say no more than this: It gives me pain that I have acted such an unworthy, inconsistent part, by which leanness has been brought into my own soul, and my ministrations rendered comparatively useless. It is difficult to trace my motives any farther. My exercises are indistinct. Alas, if I had lived more at home, I should have been more acquainted with myself. I once pursued this duty with more faithfulness, until it became comparatively easy to search about my heart; but it has now been so long neglected, that I find myself a stranger at home, and have forgotten the way around the different apartments of my mind.

It seems at times perfectly incredible, and almost impossible, that so much sin can consist with grace. I have lately had

more doubts than before. My doubts increase accordingly as I neglect the duties of prayer, contemplation, watchfulness, and examination.

August 2d, Wednesday morning. This day is appointed to be set apart by me in company with some of the neighboring ministers, as a day of fasting and prayer. I would wish through the day,

(1.) To banish every worldly care and thought.

(2.) Strive to possess myself of a deep sense of my sin.

(3.) As the chief object of our prayers is to be, by express agreement, the advancement of Zion, I would wish to possess myself of views of the worth of the church, and of the importance of her being advanced.

(4.) Guard myself, when leading in prayer, against a wish to appear artificially ardent or humble.

(5.) Guard against introducing or joining in any conversation, even though it may be of the religious kind, which shall tend to take my mind off from the immediate business of the day.

(6.) Strive to ask all truly in the name of Christ.

Erening. Upon a review of my exercises through the day, I find much cause for shame and humiliation, and that it is much easier to make resolutions than to keep them.

Sabbath morning, August 6th. Expect to preach to-day in opposition to what is commonly called the half-way practice; to which many of the people are strongly attached, and which threatens to raise disturbances among us, the Lord knows how serious. Have also to administer the Lord's supper. It is my desire this day not to be actuated by a wilful, haughty resolution to carry my point; not to exhibit any imprudent, effeminate weakness or fear; to exercise a deep concern that the people may walk in the true order of the gospel, and that they may not break to pieces and injure themselves. I wish to go to the sanctuary under a sense of my own unworthiness, and apprehensive that my imprudences, negligences, and unfaithfulness, may have given occasion to the discontents which appear. I wish to feel humility and Vol. I.

fervency in prayer; to have close, fixed attention in singing God's praise; and at the sacrament to exercise humility, penitence, and faith, and make a renewed dedication of myself to God.

Sabbath evening. Have reason to bless God that he has given me a better Sabbath than I have been wont to have. But I fear I have not possessed a sufficiently tender, humble spirit; that I was desirous to convince my people that I was not afraid of them. Have felt the operation of spiritual pride in consequence of some enlargements. This, alas, is no new thing.

I fear I have been too willing that the people should send me away, under the notion of getting a better place. I have endeavored to correct myself, and have made the following resolutions:

(1.) Let me not be so selfish as to be unaffected with what will injure the people, out of respect to private interest. (2.) Let me not wish myself removed from a place in which God has placed me and blessed my labors. (3.) Let me not do any thing to effect a dissolution of our connexion; but be as faithful, prayerful, prudent, and humble, as though this was the only place in which I could labor; and then, if the Lord send me away, I can go with a good conscience, with good reputation, and with his blessing. (4.) Let me be humble, patient, and resigned in all my conversation on the subject.

EXAMINATION. Have tried myself on the subject of leaving this people, and think I can say that I would not, by any means, exchange this for a more agreeable place, without God's approbation and direction: Because, (1.) I dare not run away from a place in which he has put me, for fear of carrying his curse with me. (2.) I would be where I can be the most useful, and that he can best determine. I think I would rather be useful in a poor place than useless in another. The interest which I am to take care of seems too great to be sacrificed to private considerations. Besides, I feel as though the pleasantest place without the approbation and presence of God, would be very unpleasant. "Give what thou canst,

without thee we are poor, and with thee rich, take what thou wilt away."

I think I can further say that I would rather the Lord should determine all the circumstances of my life than choose for myself; because this will conduce most to the general good, and to my own happiness. I think the first motive is the strongest. I think that I wish the Lord, whose I am and who has an important interest to promote, to direct where and how I shall serve him. I wish to be at his disposal and command. I feel it a happiness that I am in his hands, and that he will dispose of all things so as best to answer his most excellent purposes. "The Lord reigneth, let the earth rejoice." If afflictions will make me better, I know I am willing to bear them; or if they will help forward the redeeming plan, I think I am willing God should impose them, at least to a considerable degree. My heart is deceitful-I dare not go any further. And yet I must say, it seems that, feeling as I now do, I should not object if the Lord should take any thing which I have, if it would promote that cause which Christ died to promote, which is the cause of all truth and of all happiness.

Sabbath morning, August 13th. I expect to preach this morning from Genesis, v. 24. The subject has been sweet to me. I desire (1.) to deliver it with a sincere desire to maintain in future a more close walk with God myself, and to persuade others to do so likewise. (2.) To avoid the pride which is too apt to arise from the belief that I am delivering a good

sermon.

From some symptoms discovered in the place, and from the increased desires of my own mind, I have had some hopes that my sermons this day will be blessed. The weather however looks so unpromising, that I fear few will attend meeting. But I desire to go, not discouraged at this, but believing that God can make it a most glorious day,-a day of extensive good, though the meeting be thin. O Lord, in mercy, I en treat thee, grant me this desire of my mind!

Noon. My thoughts have this forenoon been scattered, my