So you know, what could I fay to her any more? I e'en left her, and came away as wife as I was before. Well but then they would have had me gone to the cnning man! No, faid I, 'tis the fame thing, the chaplain will be here anon. * So the chaplain my fweetheart, came in now the fervants fay he is Because he's always in my chamber, and I always take his part. So, as the Devil would have it, before I was aware, out I blunder'd, Parfon, faid I, can you caft a nativity, when a body's plunder'd ? (Now you must know he hates to be call'd parfon like Devil.) Truly, fays he, Mrs. Nab, it might become you to be more civil ; If your money be gone, as a learned divine says, d'ye fee, You are no text for my handling; fo take that from me : I was never taken for a conjurer before, I'd have you to Lord! faid I, don't be angry, I'm fure I never thought you fo; You Dr. Swift. You know I honour the cloth; I defign to be a parfon's wife; I never took one in- your coat for a conjurer in all my life. With that he twifted his girdle at me like a rope, as who fhould fay, Now you may go hang yourself for me! and fo went a way. Well, I thought I fhould have fwoon'd: Lord: faid I, what fhall I do? I have loft my money, and fhall lofe my true love too! Then my lord call'd me: Harry †, faid my Lord, don't. cry; I'll give fomething towards thy lofs; and, fays my Lady, fo will I. O! but, faid I, what if, after all, the chaplain won't come to ? For that, he faid (an't please your Excellencies), I must petition you, The premiffes tenderly confider'd, I defire your Excellencies protection, And that I may have a fhare in next Sunday's collec tion; And, over and above, that I may have your Excellencies letter, With an order for the chaplain aforefaid, or, in flead of him, a better: And then your poor petitioner, both night and day, Or the chaplain (for 'tis his trade) as in duty bound, fhall ever pray. A cant word of Lord and Lady B. to Mrs. Harris.. 2 molten & ad of cnien 1; shot › ada ruonod I word noY Mary the Cook-Maid's Letter to Dr. Sheridan, WELL, Edw 25 ELL, Fever I faw fuch another man fince my You a gentleman! marry come up! I wonder where you were bred. I'm fure fuch words do not become a man of your cloth; I would not give fuch language to a dog, faith and troth. Yes, you call'd my mafter a knave: fie, Mr, Sheridan! 1001 satis a fhame For a parfon, who fhould know better things, to come out with fuch a name. Knave in your teeth, Mr. Sheridan! 'tis both a fhame and a fin: And the Dean my mafter, is an honefter man than you He has more goodriefs in his little finger than you have in your whole body: My maler is a perfonable man, and not a fpindle-fhank❜d hoddy-doddy. And now, whereby find you would fain make an excufes Because my mafter one day, in anger, call'd you goose; Which, and I am fure I have been his fervant four years fince October, And he never call'd me worfe than fweet-heart, drunk or fober: Not that I know his reverence was ever concern'd to my knowledge, Though you and your come-rogues keep him out fo late, in your college. You fay you will eat grafs on his grave: a christian eat grafs. Whereby you now confefs yourself to be a goose or an afs: But that's as much as to say, that my mafter should die before ye: Well, well, that's as God pleafes; and I don't believe that's a true story ;„; And fo fay I told you fo, and you may go tell my master, what care I? And I don't care who knows it; 'tis all one to Mary. Every body knows that I love to tell truth, and fhame the devil; I am but a poor fervant, but I think gentle folks fhould 'be civil. Befides, you found fault with our victuals one day that you was here; I remember it was on a Tuesday, of all days in the year; And Saunders the man fays you are always jefting and mocking: Mary, faid he (one day as I was mending my mafter's flocking), My mafter is so fond of that minister that keeps the school. I thought my mafter a wife man, but that man makes him a fool. Saunders, Saunders, faid I, I would rather than a quart of ale He would come into our kitchen, and I would pin a difh And now I must go, and get Saunders to direct this letter; For I write but a fad fcrawl, but my fifter Marget she writes better. NO CAS Well, but I muft run and make the bed, before my master comes from pray'rs : And fee now, it ftrikes ten, and I hear him coming up stairs; Whereof I could fay more to your verfes, if I could to write written chand: And fo I remain, in a civil way your fervant to command. Acres procurrent, magnum fpe&taculum uterque.' HOR comrades, as authors fay Two grave * (But in what chapter, page, or line, b. Ye critics, if ye pleafe, define), Had found an oyster in their way, Conteft and foul debate arofe: Both view'd at once with greedy eyes, Both challeng'd the delicious prize, And high words foon improv'd to blows. Actions |