French Bull. A married French lady, who had an intrigue, infifted on having her lover's portrait. He remonftrated on her abfurdity, and faid it would be proclaiming their amour. "Oh," faid the, "but to prevent a discovery, it fhall not be drawn like you." Court Politeffe. When Lord Townfend was fecretary of state to George the Firft, fome city dames came to vifit his lady, with whom fhe was little acquainted. Meaning to be mighty civil, and return their vifits, fhe afked one of them where fhe lived? The other replied, near Aldermanbury. "Oh," cried Lady Townsend, "I hope the Alderman is well:" Hob and Nob. Some words are locally perverted to bad fenfes. Hob and Nob must be of the number. Lord *** being in the country, and wifhing to fhew great regard to a ruftic gentleman of fome influence, he was invited to dine, along with a numerous and elegant company, and placed at my lady's right hand. The lady, in the midst of dinner, called for a glass of wine to drink with her new gueft, and holding it towards him, as then the fafhion, faid, "Hob and Nob, Mr. ***” The gentleman ftared, and blushed up to the eyes. She thinking it was mere timidity, repeated the words, and the gentleman ་ D 3 gentleman looking if poffible more confused, the coloured herself; when he, after much hefitation, whispered, "Madam, excufe me, but I never hob and nob except with my wife." Duchefs of Bolton. The duchefs dowager of Bolton, who was natural daughter to the duke of Monmouth, ufed to divert George the Firft, by affecting to make blunders. Once when she had been at the play of "Love's Laft Shift," the called it, La derniere Chemife de l'Amour. Another time the pretended to come to court in a great fright, and the king afking the cause, fhe faid fhe had been at Mr. Whifton's, who told her the world would be burnt in three years; and for her she was determined to go to China. The King of Bulls. part I will give you what I call the king of bulls. An Irish baronet, walking out with a gentleman, who told me the ftory, was met by his nurse, who requested charity. The baronet exclaimed vehemently, "I will give you nothing. You played me a feandalous trick in my infancy.' The old woman, in amazement, asked him what injury fhe had done him? He answered, “I was a fine boy, and you changed me.” In this bull even perfonal identity is confounded! Convenient Courage. A certain earl having beaten Antony Henley, at Tunbridge, for fome impertinence, the next day day found Henley beating another perfon. The peer congratulated Henley on that acquifition of fpirit. "Oh, my lord," replied Henley, "your lordship and I know whom to beat." Lord William Poulet. Lord William Poulet, though often chairmant of committees of the houfe of commons, was a great dunce, and could fcarce read. Being to read a bill for naturalizing Jemima, duchefs of Kent, he called her, Jeremiah, duchefs of Kent. Having heard South Walls commended for ripening fruit, he fhewed all the four fides of his garden for fouth walls. A gentleman writing to defire a fine horse he had, offered him any equivalent. Lord William replied, that the horfe was at his fervice, but he did not know what to do with an elephant. A pamphlet, called "The Snake in the Grafs," being reported (probably in joke) to be written by this Lord William Poulet, a gentleman, abused in it, sent him a challenge. Lord William profeffed his innocence, and that he was not the author; but the gentleman would not be fatisfied without a denial under his hand. Lord William took a pen, and began, "This is to feratify, that the buk called the Snak"-" Oh, my lord," faid the perfon, "I am fatisfied; your lordship has already convinced me you did not write the book." Letter written foon after Horace Walpole, by the death of his Nephew, had fucceeded to the Title of Earl of Orford. DEAR SIR, Berkley-fquare, Dec. 26, 1791 As I am fure of the fincerity of your congratulations, I feel much obliged by them; though what has happened deftroys my tranquillity; and if what the world reckons advantageous, could compenfate the lofs of peace and cafe, would ill indemnify me, even by them. A fmall eftate, loaded with debt, and of which I do not understand the management, and am too old to learn; a fource of law-fuits amongst my near relations, though not affecting me; endless converfations with lawyers; and packets of letters every day to read and answer: all this weight of bufinefs is too much for the rag of life that yet hangs about me; and was preceded by three weeks of anxiety about my unfortunate nephew; and a daily correfpondence with phyficians, and mad doctors, calling upon me when I had been out of order ever fince Juiy fuch a mafs of troubles made me very ferioufly ill for fome days, and has left me, and ftill keeps me, fo weak and difpirited, that if I fhall not foon be able to get fome repofe, my poor head or body will not be able to refift. For the empty title, I trust you do not suppose it any thing but an incumbrance, by larding my bufy mornings with idle vifits of interruption, and which, when I am able to go out, I fhall be orced to return. Surely no man of seventy four, four, unless fuperannuated, can have the smallest pleasure in fitting at home in his own room, as I always do, and being called by a new name. It will feem perfonal, and ungrateful too, to have faid fo much about my own trift fituation, and not to have yet thanked you, Sir, for your kind and flattering offer of letting me read what you have finished of your hiftory; but it was neceffary to expofe my condition to you, before I could venture to accept your propofal, when I am so utterly incapable of giving a quarter of an hour at a time to what, I know by my acquaintance with your works, will demand aft my attention, if I wish to reap the pleafure they are formed to give me. It is most true that, for these seven weeks, I have not read feven pages, but letters, ftates of accounts, cafes to be laid before lawyers, accounts of farms, &c. &c. and thofe fubject to mortgages. Thus are my mornings occupied in an evening my relations, and a very few friends, come to me; and when they are gone, I have about an hour, to midnight, to write anfwers to letters for the next day's poft, which I. had not time to do in the morning. This is actually my cafe now; I happened to be quitted at ten o'clock, and I would not lofe the opportunity of thanking you, not knowing when I could command another hour. I would by no means be understood to decline your obliging offer, Sir. On the contrary, I accept it joyfully, if you can trust me with your manufcript for a little time, should I have leifure to read it, but by fmall fnatches, which. would be wronging, and would break all connexion D 5 |