cerely respected and beloved by her children; but I have known many, who have been repaid for their injudicious kindness by heart-rending neglect or insult. The firm and prudent mother alone, who has the good sense to unite general kindness with occasional and salutary restraint, becomes an object of permanent respect and affection. Her tenderness is justly appreciated, because it is considered as a proof of approbation, and not as a mere thoughtless instinctive impulse; and even her very denial of hurtful gratification is accompanied by a manner and an explanation eminently calculated to enforce conviction and secure esteem. Such a mother walks amidst her children as an object of affectionate reverence, an equitable distributor of rewards and punishments; from whose justice, propriety of conduct is always secure of a recompense, and from whose weakness, criminality cannot speculate upon impunity. If there be anything, which, above all other considerations, I would press upon parents with peculiar earnestness, it is this—that, in the management of children, there should be no apparent diversity of opinion or system between father and mother. Wherever such difference exists, it is uniformly destructive; the judgment of each parent being alternately undervalued, and the authority of both too often eventually undermined. It usually happens, indeed, in such cases, that a wretched system of deceit and tyranny springs into existence. The mother frequently encourages or connives at actions, of which the father disapproves; concealment or apology is therefore her object, whilst detection and punishment are his. Such a course once begun, action and re-action mutually increase the evil. -- The more the father is deceived, he becomes the more severe; and in proportion as his severity increases, the mother redoubles, in concert with the child, her efforts of deception. Thus, both parents sin against nature; the one in fostering folly and hypocrisy, the other in becoming a tyrant. The child, too, is eventually taught to sin against nature to despise one parent, and to hate another. And, what is equally deplorable, the mutual affection and confidence of the parents themselves are impaired; and that very being, who ought to be the most sacred bond of union, often becomes a source of division and alienation. Whatever diversity of opinion, therefore, may happen to exist between fathers and mothers, it should be entirely settled or compromised in private, that the slightest symptom of it may not appear before their children. A divided authority is always weak; and there can be no case in which it is more destructive, for a house to be divided against itself,' than in the education of the young. Parental wisdom should never be doubted, parental impartiality should never be suspected, parental authority should never be the subject of dispute. If a mother be too indulgent, let there be a private admonition; if a father be too severe, there ought to be a secret remonstrance. Even where a restraint may have been tyrannical, or a punishment inflicted beyond due bounds, there should never be a sudden and repentant relaxation. Such alternate rigor and relenting are exceedingly common, and exceedingly mischievous. The boy hates a power that is exercised without reason, speculates upon undue indulgence as a recompense for unmerited suffering, and looks upon himself rather as the victim of his father's improper passion, than as the object of a just and necessary correction. To prevent such consequences, it is the part of true wisdom to follow the gentler suggestions of nature; and to keep always rather within than beyond the bounds of rigorous justice. 6 You are no doubt anxious, my christian friends, to establish your children in circumstances of worldly competence and respectability. This is a natural, a laudable, a religious desire. An honest independence is one of the greatest blessings of existence. It enables a man to walk amidst his fellows, of whatever rank, with a firm step, a manly aspect, and a tranquil heart. It affords him the means of moderate, rational, and decent enjoyment, both in his individual and social capacity; and, what is still more, it enables him to taste the luxury of doing good.' But, let it ever be remembered, that even this valuable independence should never be purchased by sacrifices or exertions, which would raise a blush upon the cheek, or excite a pang in the heart. If you can exalt your children to affluence and station by honorable means, whilst you impress those sound principles of religion and morality, which will enable them to enjoy and to improve the blessings of their lot, you become not merely the benefactors of your families, but also of your kind. If, however, it be your sole object to confer affluence upon them for its own sake, without any attention to the dispositions and virtues which would render it a source of personal and public advantage, you would more consult their substantial interest and happiness by placing them in the humblest condition of honest industry. I solemnly declare that I would rather bequeath to my child the honorable inheritance of good principles and a good name, than 'millions of silver and gold' with an ungoverned spirit, or a corrupted heart. We all know the uncertainty of reputation, and fortune, and power. We farther know that were they even permanent in their own nature, they have not the capacity of conferring virtue or happiness. On the contrary, they have a natural tendency to render the heart presumptuous, to inflame the passions, and to foster crime. Neither can they ward off the stroke of disease, nor the shafts of calamity. In the gloomy hour of dissolution, when the heart sinks, and the spirits fail, and there is no pleasure in life,' they cannot afford one gleam of hope, or one moment of consolation. Under such circumstances, how different is the lot of him, who has been educated with sound principles of piety and morality! With regard to all his true interests, he is entirely independent of world; and even in the the chances and changes of the In conclusion, christian parents, if you desire that your children should be duly guided by your instructions, show them in all things the sincerity and value of your precepts, by their happy influence upon your own 'lives and conversation.' Example is the most agreeable and the most powerful instructer. As they learn your language, copy your manners, and acquire your C habits of thinking upon ordinary subjects, so will they become imbued with your christian temper and principles. But, remember, if you walk not worthy of the high vocation wherewith you are called,' your example must be destructive, and you can no longer be objects of affection or respect. Do not force your children to err against nature. No child can love a tyrant, a sensualist, a despiser of religion, or a neglecter of parental duties. Walk in the midst of your families, in the constant exercise of kindness tempered with firmness, of piety without austerity, of holiness adorned by cheerfulness, and you cannot fail, in the virtues and happiness of your children, to reap an abundant harvest of joy and peace. |