Miniver Cheevy, born too late, Scratched his head and kept on thinking; Miniver coughed, and called it fate, And kept on drinking. Edwin Arlington Robinson. THE RECRUIT SEZ Corporal Madden to Private McFadden: Now turn out yer toes! Yer belt is unhookit, Yer cap is on crookit, Ye may not be dhrunk, But, be jabers, ye look it! Wan-two! Wan-two! Ye monkey-faced divil, I'll jolly ye through! Wan-two! Time! Mark! Ye march like the aigle in Cintheral Parrk!" Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden: "A saint it ud sadden To dhrill such a mug! Eyes front!-ye baboon, ye! Chin up!-ye gossoon, ye! Ye've jaws like a goat Halt! ye leather-lipped loon, ye! Wan-two! Ye whiskered orang-outang, I'll fix you! Wan-two! Time! Mark! Ye've eyes like a bat!-can ye see in the dark?" Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden: Sure, man, ye've no shape! The Recruit 231 Yer shins is as thin As a pair of pen-holders! Wan-two! Wan-two! Yer belly belongs on yer back, ye Jew! Wan-two! Time! Mark! I'm dhry as a dog-I can't shpake but I bark!" Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden: To blacken your eye. Will ye heed what I told ye? Wan-two! Be jabers, I'm dhryer than Brian Boru! Wan-two! Time! Mark! What's wur-ruk for chickens is sport for the lark!" Sez Corporal Madden to Private McFadden : "I'll not stay a gaddin', Wid dagoes like you! I'll travel no farther, I'm dyin' for-wather; Come on, if ye like, Can ye loan me a quather? Ya-as, you What,-two? And ye'll pay the potheen? Ye're a daisy! Whurroo! You'll do! Whist! Mark! The Rigiment's flattered to own ye, me spark! Robert W. Chambers. OFFICER BRADY THE MODERN RECRUIT I SEZ Alderman Grady Luk here what ye've done: "Way up in Tammany Hall They's a gintleman layin' f'r ou! 'An' what,' sez he, 't' 'ell,' sez he, 'Does the villyun mane to do? Lock up the ass in his shtall! He'll rue the day I rue, F'r he's pulled the dive that kapes me alive, An' he'll go to the goats! Whurroo!'" II Sez Alderman Grady To Officer Brady: "Ye pinched young Mullady F'r crackin' a safe! An' Sinitor Moran Is inside, a-roarin' F'r justice, ye thafe! "Way up in Tammany Hall They's a gintleman layin' f'r you! 'What's this,' sez he, 'I hear?' sez heAn' the air, bedad, grew blue! Officer Brady 'Well, I nivver did hear av such gall! But if phwat ye say is thrue, He's pulled a fri'nd av a fri'nd av me fri'nd, 233 III Sez Alderman Grady She lifted a locket From Casey's coat pocket, ""Way up in Tammany Hall They's a gintleman layin' f'r you! "Tis a shame,' sez he, 'f'r to blame,' sez he, 'A lady so fair an' thrue, An' so divinely tall'— 'Tis po'ms he talked, ye Jew! An' ye've cooked yer goose, an' now ye're loose F'r to folly the goats! Whurroo!" IV Sez Alderman Grady "Where's Katie Macready, The Confidence Queen? Steady colleen! "Way up in Tammany Hall They's a gintleman layin' f'r you! 'He's pinched,' sez he, 'an' cinched,' sez he, 'A lady tray comme eel foo! Go dangle th' tillyphone call, An' gimme La Mulberry Roo, F'r the town is too warrm f'r this gendarme, An' he'll go to the goats, mon Dieu!"" Sez Alderman Grady Can't open to-night, An' everything tight! "Oh! 'Way up in Tammany Hall They's a gintleman lookin' f'r you! 'Bedad,' sez he, he's mad,' sez he. So turrn on the screw f'r Bellevue, An' chain 'im ag'in' the wall, An' lather 'im wan or two, An' tether 'im out on the Bloomin'dale route Like a loonytick goat! Whurroo!'" Robert W. Chambers. |