passing further into the Peak-country, I met with more friendly people, and with some in empty high notions. And travelling on through some parts of Leicestershire and into Nottinghamshire, there I met with a tender people, and a very tender woman, whose name was Elizabeth Hootton, and with these I had some meetings and discourses. But my troubles continued, and I was often under great temptations; and I fasted much, and walked abroad in solitary places many days, and often took my bible, and went and sat in hollow trees and lonesome places till night came on; and frequently in the night walked mournfully about by myself: for 1 was a man of sorrows in the times of the first workings of the Lord

in me.

Now during all this time I was never joined in profession of religion with any, but gave up myself to the Lord, having forsaken all evil company, and taken leave of father and mother and all other relations, and travelled up and down as a stranger in the earth, which way the Lord inclined my heart; taking a chamber to myself in town where I came, and tarrying sometimes a month, sometimes more, sometimes less in a place; for I durst not stay long in any place, being afraid both of professor and profane, lest, being a tender young man, I should be hurt by conversing much with either, for which reason I kept myself much as a stranger, seeking heavenly wisdom and getting knowledge from the Lord, and was brought off from outward things, to rely wholly on the Lord alone; and though my exercises and troubles were very great, yet were they not so continual, but that I had some intermissions, and was sometimes brought into such an heavenly joy, that I thought I had been in Abraham's bosom. As I cannot declare the misery I was in, it was so great and heavy upon me; so neither can I set forth the mercies of God unto me in all my misery. Oh, the everlasting love of God to my soul, when I was in great distress, when my "troubles and torments were great, then was his love exceeding great. Thou, Lord, makest a fruitful field a barren wilderness, and a barren wilderness a fruitful field; thou bringest down and settest up; thou killest and makest alive; all honour and glory be to thee, O Lord of glory; the knowledge of thee in the Spirit is life; but that knowledge which is fleshly works death." And while there is this knowledge in the flesh, deceit and self will conform to any thing, and will say yes, yes, to that it doth not know. The knowledge which the world hath of what the prophets and apostles spake, is a fleshly

knowledge, and the apostates from the life, in which the prophets and apostles were, have gotten their words, the Holy Scriptures in a form, but not in their life nor spirit that gave them forth; and so they all lie in confusion, and are making provision for the flesh to fulfil the lusts thereof, but not to fulfil the law and command of Christ in his power and spirit; for that, they say, they cannot do, but to fulfil the lusts of the flesh, that they can do with delight.

Now after I had received that opening from the Lord, that to be bred at Oxford or Cambridge was not sufficient to fit a man to be a minister of Christ, I regarded the priests less, and looked more after the dissenting people; and among them I saw there was some tenderness; and many of them came afterwards to be convinced, for they had some openings. But as I had forsaken all the priests, so I left the separate preachers also, and those called the most experienced people, for I saw there was none among them all that could speak to my condition. And when all my hopes in them and in all men was gone, so that I had nothing outwardly to help me, nor could tell what to do; then, O! then I heard a voice which said, There is one, even Christ Jesus, that can speak to thy condition;' and when I heard it my heart did leap for joy. Then the Lord did let me see why there was none upon the earth that could speak to my condition; namely, that I might give him all the glory, for all are concluded under sin and shut up in unbelief, as I had been, that Jesus Christ might have the preeminence, who enlightens and gives grace, and faith and power; thus when God doth work who shall let it? and this I knew experimentally. My desires after the Lord grew stronger, and zeal in the pure knowledge of God and of Christ alone, without the help of any man, book or writing; for though I read the Scriptures that spake of Christ and of God, yet I knew him not, but by revelation, as he who hath the key did open, and as the Father of Life drew me to his Son by his Spirit; and then the Lord did gently lead me along and did let me see his love, which was endless and eternal, and surpasseth all the knowledge that men have in the natural state, or can get by history or books, and that love did let me see myself as I was without him; and I was afraid of all company, for I saw them perfectly where they were, through the love of God which let me see myself. And I had not fellowship with any people, priests nor professors, nor any sort of separated people, but with Christ, who hath the key, and opened the door of light and life unto me; and I was

afraid of all carnal talk and talkers, for I could see nothing but corruptions, and the life lay under the burden of corruptions. And when I myself was in the deep under all shut up, I could not believe that I should ever overcome; my troubles, my sorrows and my temptations were so great, that I thought many times I should have despaired, I was so tempted. But when Christ opened to me, how he was tempted by the same devil, and had overcome him and bruised his head, and through him and his power, Jight, grace and spirit I should overcome also, I had confidence in him; so he it was that opened to me, when I was shut up and had not hope nor faith. Christ it was (who had enlightened me) that gave me his light to believe in, and gave me hope which is himself, revealed himself in me, and gave me his spirit, and gave me his grace, which I found sufficient in the deeps and in weakness; thus in the deepest miseries and in the greatest sorrows and temptations, that many times beset me, the Lord in his mercy did keep me. And I found that there were two thirsts in me, the one after the creatures, to have gotten help and strength there; and the other after the Lord, the Creator, and his Son Jesus Christ. And I saw all the world could do me no good, if I had had a king's diet, palace and attendance, all would have been as nothing; for nothing gave me comfort but the Lord by his power; and I saw professors, priests and people were whole and at ease in that condition which was my misery, and they loved that which I would have been rid of. But the Lord did stay my desires upon himself, from whom my help came, and my care was cast upon him alone; therefore all wait patiently upon the Lord, whatsoever condition you be in, wait in the grace and truth that comes by Jesus; for if ye so do there is a promise to you, and the Lord God will fulfil it in you; and blessed are all they indeed that do indeed hunger and thirst after righteousness, they shall be satisfied with it; I have found it so, praised be the Lord who filleth with it, and satisfieth the desires of the hungry soul. O let the house of the spiritual Israel say, "His mercy endureth for ever." It is the great love of God to make a wilderness of that which is pleasant to the outward eye and fleshly mind, and to make a fruitful field of a barren wilderness; this is the great work of God. But while people's minds do run in the earthly, after the creatures and changeable things and changeable ways and religions, and changeable uncertain teachers, their minds are in bondage and they are brittle and changeable, and tossed up and down with windy doctrines and thoughts,

and notions and things, their minds being from the unchangeable truth in the inward parts, the light of Jesus Christ, which would keep their minds to the unchangeable, who is the way to the Father, who in all my troubles did preserve me by his spirit and power, praised be his holy name for ever.

Again I heard a voice which did say, "Thou serpent, thou dost seek to destroy the life, but canst not; for the sword which keepeth the tree of life shall destroy thee." So Christ, the word of God, that bruised the head of the serpent, the destroyer, preserved me; my inward mind being joined to his good seed that bruised the head of this serpent the destroyer. And this inward life did spring up in me, to answer all the opposing professors and priests, and did bring in Scriptures to my memory to refute them with.

At another time I saw the great love of God, and I was filled with admiration at the infiniteness of it; and then I saw what was cast out from God, and what entered into God's kingdom; and how by Jesus, the opener of the door by his heavenly key, the entrance was given; and I saw death how it had passed upon all men, and oppressed the seed of God in man and in me; and how I in the seed came forth, and what the promise was to. Yet it was so with me that there seemed to be two pleading in me, and questionings arose in my mind about gifts and prophecies; and I was tempted again to despair, as if I had sinned against the Holy Ghost, and I was in great perplexity and trouble for many days; yet I gave up myself to the Lord still; and one day when I had been walking solitarily abroad and was come home, I was taken up in the love of God, so that I could not but admire the greatness of his love; and while I was in that condition, it was opened unto me by the eternal light and power, and I therein clearly saw, that all was done, and to be done, in and by Christ, and how he conquers and destroys this tempter, the devil, and all his works, and is a top of him; and that all these troubles were good for me, and temptations for the trial of my faith which Christ had given me; and the Lord opened me that I saw through all these troubles and temptations, my living faith was raised, that I saw all was done by Christ, the life, and my belief was in him. And when at any time my condition was vailed, my secret belief was stayed firm, and hope underneath held me, as an anchor in the bottom of the sea, and anchored my immortal soul to its Bishop, causing it to swim above the sea, the world, where all the raging waves, foul weather, tempests and

temptations are. But, oh! then did I see my troubles, trials, and temptations more than ever I had done. As the light appeared, all appeared that is out of the light, darkness, death, temptations, the unrighteous, the ungodly, all was manifest and seen in the light. Then, after this, there did a pure fire appear in me; then I saw how he sat as a refiner's fire and as the fuller's soap; and then the spiritual discerning came into me, by which I did discern my own thoughts, groans and sighs, and what it was that did vail me, and what it was that did open me. And that which could not abide in the patience, nor endure the fire, in the light I found to be the groans of the flesh, that could not give up to the will of God, which had vailed me, and that could not be patient in all trials, troubles, and anguishes and perplexities, and could not give up self to die by the cross, the power of God, that the living and quickened might follow him, and that that which would cloud and vail from the presence of Christ, that which the sword of the spirit cuts down, and which must die, might not be kept alive. And I discerned the groans of the Spirit which did open me, and made intercession to God, in which Spirit is the true waiting upon God, for the redemption of the body and of the whole creation. And by this true Spirit, in which the true sighing is, I saw over the false sighings and groanings; and by this invisible spirit I discerned all the false hearing and the false seeing, and the false smelling which was a top, above the spirit, quenching and griev ing it; and that all they that were there, were in confusion and deceit, where the false asking and praying is, in deceit and a top, in that nature and tongue that takes God's holy name in vain, and wallows in the Egyptian sea, and asketh, but hath not, for they hate his light and resist the Holy Ghost, and turn the grace into wantonness, and rebel against the Spirit, and are erred from the faith they should ask in, and from the Spirit they should pray by; he that knoweth these things in the true spirit can witness them; the divine light of Christ manifesteth all things, and the spiritual fire trieth all things, and severeth all things. Several things did I then see as the Lord opened them to me; for he shewed me that which can live in his holy refining fire, and that can live to God under his law; and he made me sensible how the law and the prophets were until John, and how the least in the everlasting kingdom of God is greater than John. The pure and perfect law of God is over the flesh, to keep it, and its works, which are not perfect, under by the perfect law; and the law of God that is perfect, answers the perfect principle of God