Page images
PDF
EPUB

next to lay hefore you, what you will find of equal use and importance in your commerce with the world, some directions, or

RULES FOR CONVERSATION

Talking.

WHEN you are in company, talk often, but ne

tice for any one to rise up in an assembly thus conversing together, and to walk about the room.

You meet with some people, likewise, who are continually wriggling and twisting themselves about; stretching and gaping, and turning themselves sometimes on one side, sometimes on another, as if they were seized with a sudden fever; which is a certain indication that they are tired and disgusted with their present company.

In like manner, they act very improperly who pull out of their pockets first one letter, then another, and read them before he company.

And much worse does he behave, who, taking out his sciscars or his penknife, sets himself, with great composure, to cut and polish his nails; as if he had an utter contempt for those that are present, and therefore, to deceive the time, was endeavouring to amuse himself in some other manner.

We ought also carefully to abstain from those little ways which are much in use, of hunming a tune to ourselves, imitating the beating of a drum with our fingers upon a table, or kicking out our fect alternately in an insolent manner; for these are all indications of our contempt for others.

Moreover, it is by no means decent to sit in such a manner as either to turn our backs upon any part of the company, or to lift up our legs so as to discover to the eyes of others these parts of the body which are usually concealed; for we never act thus but in the presence of those for whose good opinion we have not the least regard. Galateo

ver long; in that case, if you do not please, at least you are sure not to tire your hearers.*

There are many persons who never know when to leave off prating; and, like a ship which, once put in motion by the force of the winds, even when the sails are furled, will not stop,-so these loquacious people, being carried on by a certain impulse, continue their career; and though they have nothing to talk of, they nevertheless proceed; and either inculcate over and over again what they have already said, er utter nt random whatever comes uppermost.

There are also some people who labour under so great and insatiable an appetite for talking, that they will interrupt others when they are going to speak; and as we sometimes sec, on a farmer's dunghill in the country, young chickens snatching grains of corn out of each other's little bills, so these people catch up the discourse out of the mouth of another, who has begun speaking, and immediately hold forth themselves; which is so provoking to some people, that they would rather interchange blows than words with them, and rather fight than converse with them; for, if you accurately observe the humours of mankind, there is nothing which sooner, or more certainly, provokes a man, than the giving a sudden check to his desires and inclinations, 0752 in the mort trifling affair.

Now, as an immede loquacity, cr love of talking, gives disgus, s t great a triturnity, or an affected silence, is very disagreeable; for ty cerve a haughty silence, where others take their tura: the conversation, seems to be nothing else than unwillingness to contribute your share to the common entertainment: and as to speak is to open your mind, as it were, to those that hear you, he, on the contrary, who is entirely silent, seems to shup all acquaintance with the rest of the company. Wherefore, as those people who, at their entertainments on any joyful occasion, drink freely, and perhaps get drunk, love to get rid of people who will not drink, so no one desira

Learn the characters of the company before you talk much.

Inform yourself of the characters and situations of the company before you give way to what your magination may prompt you to say. There are in all companies more wrong heads than right ones, and many more who deserve, than who like, censure. Should you therefore expatiate in the praise of some virtue, which some in company notoriously want, or declaim against any vice which others are notoriously infected with, your reflections, however general and unapplied, will, by being applicable, be thought personal, and levelled at those people. This consideration points out to you sufficiently not to be suspicious and captious yourself, nor to suppose that things, because they may, are therefore meant at, you.

Telling stories and digressions.

Tell stories very seldom, and absolutely never but where they are very apt, and very short. Omit every circumstance that is not material, and beware of digressions. To have frequent recourse to narrative, betrays great want of imagination.*

to see these silent gentry in their cheerful, friendly meetings: the most agreeable society, therefore, is that where every one is at liberty to speak or keep silence in his turn.-Galateo.

*If you have a mind to relate any thing in company, it is proper, before you begin, to have the whole story, whether a piece of history or any late occurrence, well settled in your mind; as also, every name and expression ready at hand, that you may not be obliged every B

Seizing people by the button.

Never hold any body by the button, or the hand, in order to be heard out, for if people are not will

moment to interrupt your narration, and inquire of other people, and beg their assistance; sometimes in regard to the fact itself. sometimes the names of persons, and other circumstances, of what you have undertaken to recite.

But, if you are to relate any thing which was said or done amongst any number of people, you ought not too frequently to use the expressions of He said,' or 'He replied;' because these pronouns agree equally with all the persons concerned; and this ambiguity must necessarily lead the audience into an error. It is proper therefore that he who relates any fact should make use of some proper names, and take care not to change them one for another during the narration.

Moreover, the reciter of any incident ought to avoid the mentioning those circumstances, which, if omitted, the story would not be less, or rather, would be more agreeable without them. The person I speak of was son of Mr. Such-a-one, who lives in St. James-street, do you know the man? His wife was daughter to Mr. Such-a-one, she was a thin woman, who used to come constantly to prayers at St. Lawrence's church: you must certainly know her.-Zounds! if you do not know her, you know nothing! Or, 'He was a handsome, tall old gentleman, who wore his own long hair. do not you recollect him?'-Now, if the very same thing might as well have happened to any other person which happened to him, all this long disquisition were to little purpose; nay, must be very tedious and provoking to the audience, who being impatient to arrive at a complete knowledge of the affair which you have begun upon, you seem de termined to delay the gratifying their curiosity as long as possible.Galateo.

ing to hear you, you had much better hold your tongue than they.*

Long talkers and whisperers.

Long talkers generally single out some unfortunate man in company to whisper, or at least, in a half voice, to convey a continuity of words to. This is excessively ill-bred, and, in some degree, a fraud; conversation-stock being a joint and common property. But if one of these unmerciful talkers lays hold of you, hear him with patience, (and at least with seeming attention,) if he is worth obliging; for nothing will oblige him more than a patient hearing, as nothing would hurt him more, than either to leave him in the midst of his discourse, or to discover your impatience under your affliction.

Inattention to persons speaking.

There is nothing so brutally shocking, nor so little forgiven, as a seeming inattention to the person who is speaking to you ;† and I have known many a man knocked down for a much slighter provocation than that inattention which I mean. I have

*When you are talking to any one, do not be continually punching him in the side, as some people are who, after every sentence, keep asking the person they are conversing with, Did not I tell you so?' 'What do you think of the matter?' 'What say you, sir?' and in the mean time they are every moment jogging and thrusting him with their elbow; which cannot be considered as a mark of respect.-Galateo.

It is also a very disagreeable practice to interrupt a person by any noise in the midst of his speech; which, indeed, must give the person interrupted much the same pleasure as it would give you, if, when vou were just

« PreviousContinue »