foul is thirsting after, and which her natural quality produces, which is the divinity, her only true repofe. Club. Of all men you hold the first place in mimickry, or whatever you undertake; but death has painted a peculiar fet form on your features, with afpirate tone of voice, that kills our hearts, and makes us quake; we therefore intreat you will reaffume your natural vivacity and difpel our doubts, darling of our new philofophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemisphere. Why do you thus play with your lovers, heroic champion, fortrefs, and chief of our glorious caufe? brighten up, we beseech you, that once pleasant countenance, fmile and revive our drooping spirits, that we may with heart-felt joy crown the nuptials of your illuftrious brightness, reanimation and restoration to your brotherhood of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere. You that have feated yourself by your unprecedented, unpleafant, and confummate merit, far tranfcending even our great patriot Voltaire, who heretofore ftood on the pinnacle or turret of our new philofophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere, as our common father, who folved doubts, difpelled spiritual mifts, and with his ufual pleafantry, took off fpiritual fetters, and cajoled the paffions of his new philofophy, which has enlightened our age and northern hemisphere, finds and brings into action many particles of matter which, until the appearance of our bright Luminary, lay uncultivated and unknown; nay, the greatest and moft most heroic exploit that has made a noife throughout the world was that ftupendous, wonderful, mazing, aftonishing, and tremendous scene that he exhibited, difplayed and exulted in his last stage of life, banquetting and feasting on his own excrement, holding out to the new philofopers of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere, that all material fubftances, of what kind, figure, matter, or thing whatsoever, or wherefoever, are to be held, careffed, fondled, enjoyed, and fanctified with equal esteem, which fanctification iffuing from fo powerful and eminent a perfonage, both by word and example, have put all fqueamishnefs, fhamefacednefs, diftinctions, particularities and every impediment which, through spiritual fear, both Jewish and chriftian, have kept, for many ages, the world in a lethargic fufpence, and robbed inan of a crowd of enjoyments, pleafant fooleries, and unrestrained intercourfe, with each other, and all other parts of matter; yet this great hero, when he could keep his wind no longer, trembled with the thought of diffolution, and at fourfcore years; whereas the mighty Nimrod, great Ignatius, at the prime and vigour of his ftrength, facrificed his darling paffions to the greater glory of our new philofophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere, bequeathed a facrifice the most noble and generous that ever entered into the heart of man, bereft and deprived himself of life, that he might give life; to whom, to his darlings, the most glorious lights of this our en-" lightened age, wife men, or men wife, who R 3 dive, dive, pierce, bring into action, feaft on, glut, inebriate, drenched in, and ducked with a plunge of delights into the vitals and quintef fence of fimple, pure Matter. To conclude, be it known to your invincible and unconquerable greatness, Top-knot, and Crown on the Head of the mighty Patriarch our grand progenitor, Voltaire, who, truckling under our tupendous and Triumpant Heroiẩm, acknowledge in filence himself vanquished; that on the memorable night of your parting with your wind, in council affembled, we judged it proper at the dead of night, whilft nature was in profound reft, to fally forth in formal proceffion, to the lodgings of his Eminence, Cardinal Priest of the Proteftant Republic or Commonwealth, Lord Archbishop of Canterbury, Primate of all England, with its appendages, &c. &c. &c. praying his parental acquiefcence to our fuit, and lenient acceptance of our tender, which was to become one common father to both focieties, that is, the old proteftant Republic, and our new Reformation, being nothing, nothing more than a new reform of the old reformation; they being perfectly fimilar, in perfuafion and confraternity, conformable to the paffions, malapert carriage, pomp, invidious, irony, fneering, and fnarling against our common enemy, the Roman Pontiff, with his gospel adherents, to all which his eminence joyfully granted his affent. The contrived plot for converting or rather convincing the good bishop of the utility, in order to remove various errors, enmities, back-bitings, felf-fears, bitings bitings of confcience, fhamefaced nefs, denials, grievings, mortifications, fpiritual doubts, and infinite other strange fangled dreffes, which remain unpurged from the old reformation, to the annoyance of the children, fair-fex and ignorant, are the productions of your fuperior brain, our darling God, who bestows wisdom, to contrive, obtain, and plump head-long, neck and fhoulders, topfey-turvy, into the gulph and garden of blifs. O the full-fraught happinefs and glut of delights will the new reform in our proteftant ancestors bring forth, compared to a woman after a tedious nine months breeding, fickness, qualms, purgings, pukings, but at the grand hour of delivery or transfer, when through anguish and pain every hope disappears and vanishes; behold ye, a man child, heir, comfort, and hope of the family; forrow and dismay cease, the cause removed, joy and mirth take place, a fimper difplays titilation on every member, and a general fhout of applaufe crowns the banquet. Even fo with us, our proteftant mother being in a fickly ftate from her commencement with popifh qualms, remorfe and afraid of gratifying different defires, for the dread of hell fire and many other popish contrivances which infected her, remained in a pregnant and fickly ftate, feftering and multiplying, as they drew near the time of delivery, by a thousand horrors, fet forth by as many arch knaves, who, to raife their own reputation and accumulate a long purfe, each of them droll wags, fet up new reforms and cloathed the old matron in a Merry-Andrew Coat, in this huR 4 miliating miliating and make-game condition, laughed at and derided by her forward children, as a felf-witted old woman, who cannot bear reproach, fell into a megrim or diforder of the brain, which brought on a melancholy ftupor. In this irrecoverable and hapless ftate was our antiquated mother, when on a fudden, behold ye, beamed forth and difplayed its radiant and glittering rays, the great Luminary, our new philofophy of this our enlightened age and northern hemifphere, which difperfed the remaining fragments of fpiritual fears, invigorated the old matron, and introduced to practice many pleafant novelties, branded heretofore with the odious and deteftable terms of obfcene, difgufting, wicked, filthy, and unfavoury, which, being now tolerated, are found defirable, relifhing, favoury and high-flavoured; all which philofophical refolutions, experimentally dif fected and anatomised, are pronounced wholefome, defireable, and delicious, proper, and worthy, the fmile, new countenance and favour of the gay and fashionable circles, and applied as an antidote against remorse, fhame, fhynefs, or other spirituai attachments. Our task is endlefs; to attempt is folly; let thus far fuffice, noble champion, deign us, we pray, a smile; vouchfafe us to escort you in proceffion at the midnight watch, which nature charms the watchful eye with its ftupendous wifdom, order, and immenfity, in he ftary regions, as a well-generalized army compact, regulated and moving in their feveral orbits without confufion, Jet, or retarding each other; and, as a clock or monitor, |