The

THOUGH there are many calamities to which all men are equally exposed, yet some species of intellectual diftrefs are thought to be peculiar to the vicious. various evils of difeafe and poverty, pain and forrow, are frequently derived from others; but fhame and confufion are fuppofed to proceed from ourfelves, and to be incurred only by the misconduct which they punish. This fuppofition is indeed fpecious; but I am convinced by the strongest evidence that it is not true : I can oppofe experience to theory; and as it will appear that I fuffer confiderable lofs by my teftimony, it must be allowed to have the most distinguishing characteristic of fincerity.

That every man is happy in proportion as he is virtuous, was once my favourite principle: I advanced and

defended

defended it in all companies; and as the last effort of my genius in its behalf, I contrived a feries of events by which it was illuftrated and established: and that I might substitute action for narrative, and decorate fentiment with the beauties of poetry, I regulated my ftory by the rules of the drama, and with great application' and labour wrought it into a tragedy.

When it was finished, I fate down like Hercules after his labours, exulting in the paft, and enjoying the future by anticipation. I read it to every friend who favoured me with a vifit, and when I went abroad, I always put it into my pocket. Thus it became known to a circle that was always increafing; and was at length mentioned with fuch commendation to a very great lady, that she was pleafed to favour me with a meffage, by which I was invited to breakfast at nine the next morning, and acquainted that a felect company would then expect the pleasure of hearing me read my play.

The delight that I received from the contemplation of my performance, the encomium of my friends, and especially this meffage, was in my opinion an experimental proof of my principles, and a reward of my merit. I reflected with great felf-complacence, upon the general complaint that genius was without patronage; and concluded, that all who had been neglected were unworthy of notice. I believed that my own elevation was not only certain but near; and that the reprefentation of my play would be fecured by a meffage to the manager, which would render the mortifying drudgery of folicitation and attendance unneceffary.

Elated with these expectations, I rofe early in the morning, and being dreffed long before it was time to

fet

fet out, I amused myself by repeating the favourite pasfages of my tragedy aloud, forming polite anfwers to the compliments that should be made, and adjusting the ceremony of my vifit.

I obferved the time appointed with fuch punctuality, that I knocked at the door while the clock was ftriking. Orders had been given for my admittance; and the porter being otherwife engaged, it happened that the fervant whofe place it was to introduce me, opened the door in his ftead, and upon hearing my name, advanced directly before me into the room; fo that no discovery was made of an enormous queüe of brown paper, which fome mischievous brat had with a crooked pin hung between the two locks of my major periwig. I followed the valet into a magnificent apartment, where, after I had got within a very large Indian fcreen, I found five ladies and a gentleman.

I was a little difconcerted in my first address, by the respect that was shewn me, and the curiofity with which I was regarded: however, I made my general obeifance, and addreffing myfelf in particular to the elder of: the ladies, whom I confidered as my patronefs, I expreffed my sense of the honour she had done me, in a short speech which I had preconceived for the purpose ; but I was immediately informed, that the lady whose favour I had acknowledged was not yet come down: this mistake increased my confufion; for as I could not again repeat the fame words, I reflected, that I fhould be at last unprepared for the occafion on which they were to have been used. The company all his while continued ftanding: I therefore haftily turned about, to reconnoitre my chair; but the moment I was feated I perceived every one labouring to ftifle a laugh. I instantly

inftantly suspected that I had committed fome ridiculous indecorum, and I attempted to apologize for I knew not what offence; but after fome hesitation, my extreme fenfibility ftruck me speechlefs. The gentleman, however, kindly discovered the caufe of their merriment, by exclaiming against the rude licentioufness of the vulgar, and at the fame time taking from behind me the pendulous reproach to the honours of my head. This discovery afforded me inexpreffible relief; my paper ramellie was thrown into the fire, and I joined in the laugh which it produced: but I was ftill embarraffed by the confequences of my mistake, and expected the lady by whom I had been invited, with folicitude and apprehenfion.

When he came in, the deference with which she was treated by perfons who were fo much my fuperiors, ftruck me with awe; my powers of recollection were fufpended, and I refolved to express my fentiments only by the lowness of my bow and the distance of my behaviour: I therefore haftily retreated backward; and at the fame time bowing with the most profound reverence, unhappily overturned the fcreen, which in its fall threw down the breakfast table, broke all the china, and crippled the lap-dog. In the midst of this ruin I ftood torpid in filence and amazement, stunned with the fhrieks of the ladies, the yelling of the dog, and the clattering of the china and while I confidered myself as the author of fuch complicated mifchief, I believe I felt as keen anguish as he, who with a halter about his neck looks up, while the other end of it is fastening to a gibbet.

The fcreen, however, was foon replaced, and the broken china removed; and though the dog was the

principal

principal object of attention, yet the lady fometimes adverted to me: fhe politely defired that I would confider the accident as of no confequence; the china, fhe faid, wat a trifle, and the hoped Pompey was more frighted than hurt. I made fome apology, but with great confufion and incoherence: at length, however, we were again feated, and breakfast was brought in.

I was extremely mortified to perceive, that the dif courfe turned wholly upon the virtues of Pompey, and the confequences of his hurt: it was examined with great attention and folicitude, and found to be a razure of the skin the whole length of one of his fore-legs. After fome topical application, his cushion was placed in the corner by his lady, upon which he lay down, and indeed whined piteously.

I was beginning to recover from my perplexity, and had just made an attempt to introduce a new subject of converfation, when cafting my eye downward I was again thrown into extreme confufion, by feeing fomething hang from the fore-part of my chair, which I imagined to be a portion of my fhirt; though indeed it was no other than the corner of a napkin on which I fat, and which, during the confufion produced by the fall of the screen, had been left on the chair.

My embarraffment was foon discovered, though the cause was mistaken: and the lady hoping to remove it, by giving me an opportunity to difplay my abilities. without the reftraint of ceremony, requested that I would now give her the pleasure which he had impatiently expected, and read my play.

My play, therefore, I was obliged to produce, and having found an opportunity haftily to button up the corner of the napkin while the manufcript lay open in

my