Re-enter Anne Page. Shal. Here conies fair mistress Anne: - Would I were young, for your sake, mistress Anne! Anne. The dinner is on the table; my father desires your worships' company. Shal. I will wait on him, fair mistress Anne. Eva. Od's plessed will! I will not be absence at the grace. [Exeunt Shallow and Sir H. Evans. Anne. Will't please your worship to come in, sir? Slen. No, I thank you, forsooth, heartily; I am very well. Anne. The dinner attends you, sir. Slen. I am not a-hungry, I thank you, forsooth: Go, sirrah, for all you are my man, go, wait upon my cousin Shallow: [Exit Simple.] A justice of peace sometime may be beholden to his friend for a man :-I keep but three men and a boy yet, till my mother be dead: but what though? yet I live like a poor gentleman born. Anne. I may not go in without your worship: they will not sit, till you come. Slen. I'faith, I'll eat nothing; I thank you as much as though I did. Anne. I pray you, sir, walk in. Slen. I had rather walk here, I thank you: I bruised my shin the other day with playing at sword and dagger with a master of fence, three veneys* for a dish of stewed prunes; and, by my troth, I cannot abide the smell of hot meat since. Why do your dogs bark so? be there bears i' the town? Anne. I think there are, sir; I heard them talked of. Slen. I love the sport well; but I shall as soon quarrel at it, as any man in England:-you are afraid, if you see the bear loose, are you not? * Three set-to's, bouts, or hits. Anne. Ay, indeed, sir. Slen. That's meat and drink to me now: I have seen Sackerson* loose, twenty times; and have taken him by the chain: but, I warrant you, the women have so cried and shriek'd at it, that it pass'df: but women, indeed, cannot abide 'em; they are very ill-favoured rough things. Re-enter Page. Page. Come, gentle master Slender, come; we stay for you. Slen. I'll eat nothing; I thank you, sir. Page. By cock and pye, you shall not choose, sir: come, come. Slen. Nay, pray you, lead the way. Page. Come on, sir. Slen. Mistress Anne, yourself shall go first. Anne. Not I, sir; pray you, keep on. Slen. Truly, I will not go first; truly, la: I will not do you that wrong. Anne. I pray you, sir. Slen. I'll rather be unmannerly than troublesome: you do yourself wrong, indeed, la. [Exeunt. SCENE II. The same. Enter Sir Hugh Evans and Simple. Eva. Go your ways, and ask of Doctor Caius' house, which is the way: and there dwells one mis tress Quickly, which is in the manner of his nurse, * The name of a bear exhibited at Paris-Garden, in Southwark. + Surpassed all expression. or his dry nurse, or his cook, or is laundry, his washer, and his wringer. Simp. Well, sir. Eva. Nay, it is petter yet-give her this letter; for it is a 'oman that altogether's acquaintance with mistress Anne Page; and the letter is, to desire and require her to solicit your master's desires to mistress Anne Page: I pray you, be gone; 1 will make an end of my dinner: there's pippins and cheese to come. [Exeunt. SCENE III. A room in the Garter Inn. Enter Falstaff, Host, Bardolph, Nym, Pistol, and Robin. Fal. Mine host of the Garter, Host. What says my bully-rook? Speak scholar ly, and wisely. Fal. Truly, mine host, I must turn away some of my followers. Host. Discard, bully Hercules; cashier: let them wag; trot, trot. Fal. I sit at ten pounds a week. Host. Thou'rt an emperor, Cæsar, Keisar, and Pheezar. I will entertain Bardolph; he shall draw, he shall tap: said I well, bully Hector? Fal. Do so, good mine host. Host. I have spoke; let him follow: let me see thee froth, and lime: I am at a word; follow. [Exit Host. Fal. Bardolph, follow him; a tapster is a good trade: an old cloak makes a new jerkin; a withered servingman, a fresh tapster: go; adieu. Bard. It is a life that I have desired; I will thrive. [Exit Bard. Pist. O base Gongarian wight! wilt thou the spigot wield? Nym. He was gotten in drink: is not the humour conceited? His mind is not heroic, and there's the humour of it. Fal. I am glad, I am so acquit of this tinderbox; his thefts were too open: his filching was like an unskilful singer, he kept not time. Nym. The good humour is, to steal at a minute's rest. Pist. Convey, the wise it call: steal! foh; a ficot for the phrase! Fal. Well, sirs, I am almost out at heels. Pist. Why then let kibes ensue. Fal. There is no remedy; I must coney-catch; I must shift. Pist. Young ravens must have food. Fal. Which of you know Ford of this town? Pist. I ken the wight; he is of substance good. Fal. My honest lads, I will tell you what I am about. Pist. Two yards, and more. Fal. No quips now, Pistol; indeed I am in the waist two yards about: but I am now about no waste; I am about thrift. Briefly, I do mean to make love to Ford's wife; I spy entertainment in her; she discourses, she carves, she gives the leer of invitation: I can construe the action of her familiar style; and the hardest voice of her behaviour, to be English'd rightly, is, I am Sir John Falstaff's. Pist. He hath studied her well, and translated her well; out of honesty into English. Nym. The anchor is deep: will that humour pass? Fal. Now, the report goes, she has all the rule of her husband's purse; she hath legions of angels‡. Pist. As many devils entertain; and, To her boy, say I. Nym. The humour rises; it is good: humour me the angels, * For Hungarian. † Fig. ‡ Gold coin. Fal. I have writ me here a letter to her and here another to Page's wife; who even now gave me good eyes too, examin'd my parts with most judicious eyliads: sometimes the beam of her view gilded my foot, sometimes my portly belly. Pist. Then did the sun on dung-hill shine. Fal. O, she did so course o'er my exteriors with such a greedy intention, that the appetite of her eye did seem to scorch me up like a burning-glass! Here's another letter to her: she bears the purse too: she is a region in Guiana, all gold and bounty. I will be cheater to them both, and they shall be exchequers to me; they shall be my East and West Indies, and I will trade to them both. Go, bear thou this letter to mistress Page; and thou this to mistress Ford: we will thrive, lads, we will thrive. Pist. Shall I Sir Pandarus of Troy become, And by my side wear steel? then, Lucifer take all! Nym. I will run no base humour; here, take the humour letter; I will keep the 'haviour of reputation. Fal. Hold, sirrah, [to Rob.] bear you these letters tightlyt; Sail like my pinnace to these golden shores.- fullam holds, And high and low beguile the rich and poor: Nym. I have operations in my head, which be humours of revenge. * Escheatour, an officer in the Exchequer. † Cleverly. ‡ False dice. § Sixpence I'll have in pocket. |