I'll kill him. He's my own son, and I have a right to do it. Your name, your name! pretty soul!

Frank. Why did not you tell I so?
[Exit and returns with Pens and Ink.
Young R. Oh, this infernal pain!—A candle

Jessy. Jessy Oatland. The indiscretion of to seal a letter. [Exit Frank, and returns my father has made me a servant

with a Candie] Zounds, it is not lighted!
Frank. You didn't tell I to light it.
Young R. Was ever man plagu'd with such
hollow-headed ninny-hammer.

Frank. [Aside] Maybe, that be better than

Old R. And the discretion of his father has made him a gentleman. But I'll make the rascal know you are not humbled by your a father's conduct, nor is he exalted by his, a villain! Can he hope to be call'd a man of a hollow-hearted one! honour for opposing his head to a pistol, while himself levels the shaft of anguish at an innocent woman's heart? But I'll kill him, that's one comfort. Come with me, sweet one! Jessy. Sir, I must attend my mistress. I am ments to peruse. servant to his bride. [Weeps.

Enter Servant.

Young R. [Jumps up] Well!

Serv. My master has sent you those parch

Young R [Throwing them down] I wouldn't Old R. I shall go mad! Don't cry. If he, by read them for his estate. marriage, won't make you my daughter, I, Sero. He will wait on you, sir directly. by adoption, will. Good bye, sweet Jessy! Young R. Begone all of you!-Stop! [To Oh, the rascal!-Cheer up!-The scoundrel! Frank] Give me my coat! [Frank helps him Pretty creature! The dog!- What a shape! on with one Arm]-Bring the glass!-[Frank -I'll kill him. [Exeunt severally. leaves him so, and brings down a Dressing-glass]-Leave me, dunder-head!

ACT V.
SCENE I.

YOUNG RAPID discovered, and HAIR DRESSER. Young R. Dispatch! Why don't you dispatch?

Hair Dress. Done in a moment, sir,-pray keep your head still.

Young R. [Jumping up] Oh, Jessy Oatland!-S'death, have not you done?

Hair Dress. Sit down, sir, donc in a mo

ment.

Enter VORTEX.

[Exit Frank.

Vortex. Bravo, my fine fellow! You fought nobly;-I say, who fir'd first.

a

Young R. Never mind, that's past!

Vortex. Well, now I must intrust you with little secret.

[They sit. Young R. I have no objection to a little secret. Vortex. In the first place, then, I'll read this paper.

Young R. No; I'll read it-I shall read it much quicker. [Reads]-"Receiv'd of Mr. VorYoung R. Well, well; I'm as patient as-tex, the sum of five thousand pounds, in con[Sits. Enter Frank at the Door, Rapid sideration of which I assign over all my right jumps up, and runs to him] Well!-Speak and title to-hum, hum, hum-Signed, ELLEN -quick! VORTEX."-I understand—

Frank. Sur-I-that is-she-no, I-wentYoung R. You tedious blockhead-is she gone! Is Jessy gone?

Frank. Ees, sur.

Young R. What! left her father's? Where is she?

Frank. I don't know—that is, I won't tell. [Aside. Young R. What must she think me? what I am a rascal.

Hair Dress. Sit down, sir; -done in a

moment.

Young R. Yes, yes; I am as calm- [Sits.
Enter Servant.

What do you want?

[Jumps up again.
[Exit.

Vortex. Now you must know the father of my_niece-

Young R. Jessy Oatland. [In reverie.
Vortex. No, her name is Ellen.

Young R. I know it, I know it-I know it.
[Fretfully.

Vortex. Her father died in India.
Young R. With all my heart.
Vortex. With all your heart!
Young R. Zounds! keep moving, will you?
Vortex. Yes, if you'll keep still.
Young R. Then be quick.

Vortex. Why I am quick, an't I? — Died in India, and left her to my care. All was inYoung R. Confusion.

Vortex. You are right, all was in confuServ. Sir, my master and Miss Vortex wait sion. So I prevail'd onYoung R. Jessy Oatland!

for you.

Young R. Aye, to fulfil that infernal mar- Vortex. No, no, Ellen-to sign_that paper; riage-promise. Oh, Jessy! [To Frank] What since which, indeed, her affairs have turn'd are you at? out pretty lucky. I purchas'd this estate with Frank. Sur, I were only twiddling about her fortune, which will be your's, iny boy!my thumbs. It was a very snug bargain.

Young R. You are always twiddling about
your thumbs. What shall I do? Go to them.
-No, I'll write,-I want to write.
Frank. Ob, you do?

Young P. I tell you I want to write.
Frank. I'm sure I don't hinder you.
Young R. S'death! then don't stand there.
Frank. It be all the same to I where I stands.
[Moving to another Place.
Young R. Thickhead, bring pen and ink.

Young R. What a horrible thing is the gift of speech.

Vortex. Speech!- Did you say any thing about a speech? Ah! had you heard mine out. -Do you remember how it began? - "Had I met your eye at an earlier hour, I should"

[During Vortex's Narration, Rapid, influenced by the most fretful Impatience, has unconsciously bit, and torn to pieces, the Paper given him by Vortex.

Vortex. But what?

Young R. That infernal speech!

Vortex. Oh! [Looking at the scraps of paper]-Eh, but hold!-When he marries my daughter he'll keep the secret for his own sake. Gh, dear! I must lose no time.

Young R. I'm very sorry! I'm sure if hearing your speech will be any compensation[Sils down.

Young R. Madam!

Miss V. [To Jessy] Leave the room!
Jessy. Apart] Now poor heart! having
pass'd thy pride's probation, retire to a corner,
and break with weeping.
[Exit.

Miss V. Sir, what am I to understand?
Young R. That I'm crazy.

Miss V. Have I deserv'd insult?

Young R. Upon my soul, I don't mean to insult you-I ask your pardon-upon my knees. [Kneels.

Enter FRANK.

Frank. You, sur!
Young R. [Jumping up] What's the matter?
Miss V. Well, I'll forgive you, if you'll
come directly. [Rapid nods, and she exit.
Young R. What do you want?

Frank. You be's a desperate villain! [Rapid going to strike] Come, dan't you do that— it wont do-Poor sister! If you bad drawn an harrow across her heart, you could not have hurt her so.

Young R. Damn't-I know nothing of your sister! Who the devil is your sister? youFrank. Why, Jessy Oatland!

Young R. What! your sister-the brother of Jessy my servant?-Damnation! why did not you tell me so? To raise my hand against the brother of Jessy! I shall go mad! - Frank, will you forgive me? I love Jessy-by my soul I do!-And may heaven desert me, if— [Kneels

Vortex. No, no, not now-come with me, all the lawyers are waiting.-Oh, pray come. Young R. I'm coming, but you're always in such a hurry. Vortex. I'll send my daughter to him-Itisfactionmust push him. Pray come directly.

Young R. I know what you want. Come along; I'll fight you directly.

Vortex. Fight! Nonsense!

Young R. Then I'll ask your pardon.
Vortex. But what the devil's the meaning

[Exit, in a hurry. Young R. Upon my soul you'll break your neck, if you hurry so. Am I always to have this infernal pain? [Goes up to the glass] Behold a highfinished rascal at full length.-of all this? Curse me, if I can look myself in the face.

Enter JESSY.

Jessy. [Apart] There he stands! - Now, heart, be firm-Virtuous indignation, support me!-Sir, my mistress waits for you.

Young R. Don't plague me about misyour tress. I'll come by and by.-[Turns round] Heaven and hell! Jessy Oatland!

Jessy. My mistress, sir, waits for you.

Young R. Your mistress!-A servant! Jessy Oatland a servant!-A servant to-And 1Jessy! my life!-my soul!-will you forgive ? Jessy. Wretch!

Young R. I am.-I despise myse-On my knees-only listen to me.

Enter Miss VORTEX.

Miss V. Mr. Rapid!

Young R. Why, don't you see I'm mad` —Stark staring mad!

Enter YOUNG STANLEY. Stanley. Mr. Rapid! [want Young R. [Jumping round] What do you Vortex. Oh, Lord! how fierce Stanley looks at me. Pray come, Mr. Rapid.-[To Stanley] Sir, your most obedient! [Exit, running. Young R. That little fellow will break his neck, to a certainty.

Stan. I have just seen a lovely girl that you have wrong'd.

Young R. I know I have, and I'll fight you again, if you like it.

Stan. Could the result benefit Jessy Oatland, I would accept your invitation.

Young R. The fact is, I'm the most uphappy-the-What do you charge for shoot

Young R. [Jumping up] What is the ing a man? I'll give you a thousand to blow

matter?

my brains out. I'm the most miserable dog. Miss V. How can you debase yourself-to--Pray, sir, will you tell me one thing!—Are Jessy. How dare he debase me, madam, by you a man of fashion? offering to an honest heart the affections of a villain?

Miss V. Sir!

Stan. I trust I'm a gentleman.

Young R. That's pretty much the same thing -an't it, sir?

Young R. Can I be a gentleman, and an honest man?

Stan. Can you be a gentleman, and not an honest man?

Young R. Pray, sir, have you always an infernal pain at your heart?

Stan. No, sir.

Enter YOUNG RAPID.

Young R. Heavens, how interesting! the languor of those lovely eyes

Miss V. Flattering creature!

Young R. My senses are restor'd. Oh, will you pardon-will you again receive a heart full of love and adoration?

Miss V. What shall I do?-I must pardon Young R. No! Huzza! Thank you!-By hea- him. [Miss Vortex is preparing to speak. ven I'll-Now don't hurry yourself. If I don't, Jessy. Edward! what shall I say? - your may I-. [Walks about. love has been too long my joy, my pride,Štan. Ah! Mr. Rapid, how different are to be torn from my heart without many a our situations! You, possessing the love of a bitter wound;-[Miss Vortex with surprise most charming and fascinating girl, dash the and chagrin withdraws her arm from Jescup of happiness away. sy]-but your late conduct has beenYoung R. May be not, my dear fellow- Young R. Detestable! But I'm pardon'd; push on. your eyes tell me So. Thanks, my angel! Stan. I, possessing the heart of my dear [Running to her and kneeling] I'm so opEllen, am miserable; because, on account of press'd with joy.-Ma'am will you have the the narrowness of her fortune, she compels goodness to help me up? me to abandon her.

Young R. What! the narrowness of her

fortune compels

Stan. Yes, I say

Miss V. Help you up!

Frank. He he he! Gi' me a buss, Jessy! he! he! thee be's a domn'd honest fellow! [Shaking Rapid's hand] I'll run and tell

Vortex. No, not I.
Miss V. Coward!

-

Young R. No! Don't say it again. Don't poor Feyther.-Now I shall have a farm of despair, that's all. [Nodding. my own! [Capering and snapping his finStan. She has given a fatal paper. gers]-Dong it, how I will work. He! he! Young R. A paper!-Yes, I know, I know. he! [Exit. Stan. And I'm come to take leave of her. Miss V. To be used so twice in one day! Young R. No, you are not!-I'll shew you-it is not to be borne, — Nabob, won't you such a scene.-Nay, don't ask me any ques-fight him? tions-follow me, that's all.-Wait at the door; and when I cry, hem! come in. But don't be in such a hurry. By heavens, the pain in my side is better already! Huzza!—Come along! [Going, returns, and runs to the glass, and nods] How do you do? -How do you do? What! you rascal! you can grin again, quite faint with laughing. can you? Come along; but don't hurry; because, my dear fellow, 'tis impossible to do any thing well in a hurry. Come along! but, zounds! never hurry.

[Exeunt, Young Rapid speaking very quick.

SCENE II. Another Apartment in VORTEX's
House.

Enter JESSY and FRANK.

Frank. How bee'st thee now, Jessy? Jessy. Better. Quite recover'd. What pass'd between you and Edward?

Frank. Why, at first be were in a desperate passion; but when I told him I were thy brother, he were so humble, and did ax I so to forgive un, that I could say no more to un. Dom it, I could not hit him when he were down; and I've a notion his conscience was pegging him about pretty tightish. He swear'd he did love thee!

Jessy. Did he, Frank? Did he say he lov'd me?

Vortex. You'd better be quiet, or I'll convince you I'm none, however.

Miss V. He! he! I declare it is so uncommonly ridiculous!-so comic!-He! he !—I'm

Jessy. Shall I assist you?

Miss V. No! [Resentfully] I must retire, or I shall expire with laughing!-he! he! Exit, crying.

Oh !

Enter ELLEN.

Ellen. Heaven! what's the matter? Young R. Allow me to introduce Mrs. Rapid, madam.-

Ellen. Sweet Jessy!-Sir, I thank you for giving my heart a pleasurable sensation, which thought it had for ever taken leave of.

I

Young R. Bless your heart! perhaps I may tickle it up a little more. [To Vortex] Now, stand out of the way, will you?

Vortex. You're quite free and easy.
Young R. My way.

Vortex. You forget 'tis my house.
Young R. No, I don't!-you bought it with
her money you know.
Vortex. Umph!

Young R. Mum, now for Young Stanley's cue. [To Ellen] 'Pon my honour, ma'am, any man might be proud to-Hem - He does'nt hear me-Such beauty! Such a shape!-such hot-a-Hem~

Enter Mr. and Miss VORTEX.
Miss V. What! torn the paper!-A
headed-only wait till he's my husband-
Vortex. Egad, I wish he would come though-
Miss V. Oh, here he is.

Jessy, How my poor frame trembles,

Enter CHARLES STANLEY.

Vortex. Zounds! he's here again [Getting behind Young Rapid] What does he want?

.

Young R. Shall I ask him?
Young R. I say he's justly punished for the
Vortex. Do.-I'll be very much obliged to length of the story he told.

Young R. [To Charles Stanley] What may be your business here, Sir?

Charles. Mr. Rapid, in expressing my obligations, allow me to be

Young R. Not more than a minute, Iintreat.
[Old Rapid and Sir Hubert without.
Old R. Where is he?
Sir Hub. Be patient.

Old R. I won't.-Let me come at him.

Enter OLD RAPID and SIR HUBERT.

Jessy. [Young Rapid and Jessy kneel]
Your blessing, sir!

Old R. What? Oh! [Falls down on his
Knees, and embraces them both.]
Sir Hub. [After talking a part to his Son]

Charles. I came to take leaveYoung R. Hush! [Apart]-To enquire re- Mr. Rapid, by asserting your character as a specting that Lady's fortune. We'll soon ans-man of honour, in rewarding the affections of wer all that, won't we?- [Nodding to Vortex. this amiable woman, you command my praise; Charles. I say, Sirfor bestowing happiness on my dear Charles,

Young R. [Stopping him] We grant it,-receive an old man's blessing.

we grant Mr. Vortex has recovered property Young R. Approbation from Sir Hubert to a considerable amount, but what signifies Stanley is praise indeed.

Vortex. What, a taylor?

that! She assigned it for five thousand pounds! Old R. Dam'me, there's the son of a taylor -You see how I'm going on. [To Nabob. for you! Vortex. Oh, thank you, my dear friend! Young R. I've seen the paper, haven't I? Old R. Yes! and let me tell you, that one [To Vortex. guinea honestly gotten by blood drawn from Charles. And I should be satisfied- the finger, is sweeter than a million obtained Young R. You would be satisfied if you by blood drawn from the heart!—So, take saw it.-Certainly-Very proper-Nothing in that.

nature can be more reasonable; so, Nabob,| Young R. Well, Nabob, how do you feel? shew him the paper, and settle the business Vortex. Egad, 'tis very odd;-but I declare at once [Walks about, Vortex following I feel light and comfortable since Ellen has him] Shew him the paper!-Don't keep the got her estate, and I somehow breathe more gentleman waiting all day- Shew him the free, I've a notion the last line of my speech paper. My dear fellow! what's the use of is true. walking after me! Shew him the paper.

Vortex. [Taking advantage of the Pauses in the foregoing Speech] I say my dear friend-Hush!-Be quiet!-I want to speak to you-You forget you destroyed it! Young R. I destroyed it!

Vortex. Hush!

Yonng R. He says I destroyed it!

Young R. Come, I'll hear the last line. Vortex. Why, "that the first step towards securing the esteem of others, is to secure your own."

Young R. Stick to the last line.

Ellen. And, dear uncle, take Sir Hubert Stanley for your physician. Follow his prescription of justice and benevolence, and, my

Vortex. I did not-I'll take my oath I did life on it, you will soon thank me for my re

commendation.

Vortex. Well, to shew the sincerity of my intentions, allow me, Ellen, to present you these parchments, the title-deeds of this estate. [Presents Parchments. Old R. I say, Ned, what nice measures they would make.

Ellen. And Sir, allow me to shew you the true value of riches-[Giving the Parchments to Stanley]-Convert them into happiness. Old R. Well, I've only one observation to make.

Young R. I hope it is a short one.
Jessy. What, impatient again?
Young R. 1 am, and if I err,

'Tis you, my generous Patrons,

cause,

are the

My heart's impatient for your kind applause.

A SCHOOL FOR GROWN CHILDREN.

This comedy appeared at Covent-Garden in the beginning of the present year, 1927, and was hailed with the marks of the greatest satisfaction by the delighted Londoners. Old Revel's manner of bringing his son to a right knowledge of his faults, descends rather to the farcical; but there are some excellent hits at character throughout the whole piece, and from Bobby Buttercup to Sir Arthur Stanmore, we have some good sketches of nature. May Sir Arthurs never more be obliged to apply such severe remedies with Lady Stanmores, and no Miss Raven's gentle counsel tempt a wife to abuse her privileges. The scenes between Sir Arthur and Lady Stanmore, are well deserving of a first place in real comedy, and have the sterling stamp of real life upon them. The author of the best comedy in the English language (School for scandal) seems to have lent his pen; and, but that we know he is "gathered to his fathers," we should have been inclined to have thought them the production of his genius. Good old Dame Ryeland, honest Frank and Fanny Bloomly, by their native simplicity, interest us highly in their favour. Poor Frank's heart-breaking situation at having lost his money, is rendered tender to a degree, by the reception the good old Dame gives him at his return to the cottage; that was indeed a school for him; and little Fanny's vanity is well humbled by reflecting, that she was the cause of Frank's desperation, the loss of his money, and consequently the author of his as well as her own misfortune. Young Revel's reformation, and determinations are very well drawn: he'll "rise at ten," form plans of economy, and a thousand other things: in fact the lessons given to every one in this comedy, may well entitle it to be called "A School for grown children " The word "School" seems to have become quite in vogue lately, for titles to good co · medies we have the "School for Scandal,” “Ecole des Vieillards," "A School for grown children."