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Clo. I would play lord Pandarus1 of Phrygia, sir, to bring a Cressida to this Troilus.
Vio. I understand you, sir; 'tis well begg'd. Clo. The matter, I hope, is not great, sir, beg. ging but a beggar; Cressida was a beggar. My lady is within, sir. I will construe to them whence you come who you are, and what you would, are out of my welkin: I might say, element; but the word is over-worn. Exit.
Vio. This fellow's wise enough to play the fool; And, to do that well, craves a kind of wit: He must observe their mood on whom he jests, The quality of persons, and the time; And, like the haggard,2 check at every feather That comes before his eye. This is a practice, As full of labour as a wise man's art:
For folly, that he wisely shows, is fit;
But wise men, folly-fallen, quite taint their wit.
Enter Sir Toby Belch and Sir Andrew Aguecheek.
Sir To. Save you, gentleman.
Vio. And you, sir.
Sir And. Dieu vous garde, monsieur.
Vio. Et vous aussi : votre serviteur.
Sir And. I hope, sir, you are; and I am yours. Sir To. Will you encounter the house? my niece is desirous you should enter, if your trade be to her.
Vio. I am bound to your niece, sir: I mean, she is the list of my voyage.
Sir To. Taste your legs, sir, put them to motion. Vio. My legs do better understand me, sir, than I understand what you mean by bidding me taste my legs.
Sir To. I mean, to go, sir, to enter.
Vio. I will answer you with gait and entrance:
(1) See the play of Troilus and Cressida.
But we are prevented.
Enter Olivia and Maria.
Most excellent accomplished lady, the heavens rain odours on you!
Sir And. That youth's a rare courtier! Rain odours! well.
Vio. My matter hath no voice, lady, but to your own most pregnant! and vouchsafed ear.
Sir Aud. Odours, pregnant, and vouchsafed :I'll get 'em all three ready.
Oli. Let the garden door be shut, and leave me to my hearing.
[Exeunt Sir Toby, Sir Andrew, and Maria. Give me your hand, sir.
Vio. My duty, madam, and most humble service.
Vio. Cesario is your servant's name, fair princess. Oli. My servant, sir! 'Twas never merry world, Since lowly feigning was call'd compliment: You are servant to the count Orsino, youth.
Vio. And he is yours, and his must needs be yours;
Your servant's servant is your servant, madam.
Oli. For him, I think not on him: for his thoughts, Would they were blanks, rather than fill'd with me! Vio. Madam, I come to whet your gentle thoughts On his behalf:-
Oli. O, by your leave, I pray you; I bade you never speak again of him: But, would you undertake another suit, I had rather hear you to solicit that, Than music from the spheres.
Oli. Give me leave, I beseech you: I did send, After the last enchantment you did here, A ring in chase of you; so did I abuse Myself, my servant, and, I fear me, you:
Under your hard construction must I sit,
Have you not set mine honour at the stake,
Enough is shown; a cyprus, not a bosom,
Oli. That's a degree to love.
Vio. No, not a grise 2 for 'tis a vulgar proof, That very oft we pity enemies.
Oli. Why, then, methinks, 'tis time to smile again :
O world, how apt the poor are to be proud!
[Clock strikes. The clock upbraids me with the waste of time.Be not afraid, good youth, I will not have you: And yet, when wit and youth is come to harvest, Your wife is like to reap a proper man : There lies your way, due west.
Then westward-hoe: Grace, and good disposition 'tend your ladyship! You'll nothing, madam, to my lord by me?
I pr'y thee, tell me, what thou think'st of me.
Oli. If I think so, I think the same of you. Vio. Then think you right; I am not what I am. Oli. I would, you were as I would have you be! Vio. Would it be better, madam, than I am, I wish it might; for now I am your fool. Oli. O, what a deal of scorn looks beautiful
(1) Ready apprehension.
In the contempt and anger of his lip!
Oli. Yet come again: for thou, perhaps, may'st
That heart, which now abhors, to like his love.
[Exeunt. SCENE II-A Room in Olivia's house. Enter Sir Toby Belch, Sir Andrew Ague-cheek, and Fabian.
Sir And. No, faith, I'll not stay a jot longer.
Fab. You must need yield your reason, sir Andrew.
Sir And. Marry, I saw your niece do more fa vours to the count's serving-man, than ever she bestowed upon me; I saw't i' the orchard.
Sir To. Did she see thee the while, old boy? tell me that.
Sir And. As plain as I see you now.
Fab. This was a great argument of love in her toward you.
(1) In spite of.
Sir And. 'Slight! will you make an ass o' me? Fab. I will prove it legitimate, sir, upon the oaths of judgment and reason.
Sir To. And they have been grand jury-men,
since before Noah was a sailor.
Fab. She did show favour to the youth in your sight, only to exasperate you, to awake your dormouse valour, to put fire in your heart, and brimstone in your liver: You should then have accosted her; and with some excellent jest, fire-new from the mint, you should have banged the youth into dumbness. This was looked for at your hand, and this was baulked: the double gilt of this opportunity you let time wash off, and you are now sailed into the north of my lady's opinion; where you will hang like an icicle on a Dutchman's beard, unless you do redeem it by some laudable attempt, either of valour, or policy.
Sir And. And't be any way, it must be with valour; for policy I hate: I had as lief be a Brownist, as a politician.
Sir To. Why then, build me thy fortunes upon the basis of valour. Challenge me the count's youth to fight with him; hurt him in eleven places; my niece shall take note of it: and assure thyself, there is no love-broker in the world can more prevail in man's commendation with woman, than report of valour.
Fab. There is no way but this, sir Andrew. Sir And. Will either of you bear me a challenge to him?
Sir To. Go, write it in a martial hand; be curst2 and brief; it is no matter how witty, so it be eloquent, and full of invention: taunt him with the license of ink: if thou thou'st him some thrice, it shall not be amiss; and as many lies as will lie in thy sheet of paper, although the sheet were big
(1) Separatists in queen Elizabeth's reign. (2) Crabbed.