212

THE DIVERTING HISTORY OF

So he did fly, which brings me to
The middle of my song.

Away went Gilpin out of breath,
And sore against his will,
Till at his friend the calender's
His horse at last stood still.

The calender, amaz'd to see

His neighbour in such trim,
Laid down his pipe, flew to the gate,
And thus accosted him :-

What news? what news your tidings tell;
Tell me you must and shall-

Say why bare-headed you are come,.

Or why you come at all.

Now Gilpin had a pleasant wit,
And lov'd a timely joke;

And thus unto the calender

In merry guise he spoke :

I came because your horse would come;
And, if I well forebode,

My hat and wig will soon be here
They are upon the road.

The calender, right glad to find

His friend in merry pin,
Return'd him not a single word,,
But to the house went in..

When straight he came with hat and wig ;

A wig that flow'd behind,

A hat not much the worse for wear,
Each comely in its kind.

He held them up, and in his turn
Thus show'd his ready wit-
My head is twice as big as yours,
They therefore needs must fit.

But let me scrape the dirt away
That hangs upon your face ;
And stop and eat, for well you may
Be in a hungry case.

Said John-it is my wedding-day,
And all the world would stare,
If wife should dine at Edmonton,
And I should dine at Ware !!

So, turning to his horse, he said
I am in haste to dine;

'Twas for your pleasure you came here,
You shall go back for mine.

Ah, luckless speech and bootless boast!
For which he paid full dear;
For, while he spake, a braying ass
Did sing most loud and clear ;

Whereat his horse did snort, as he
Had heard a lion roar,

And gallop'd off with all his might,
As he had done before..

214

THE DIVERTING HISTORY OF

Away went Gilpin, and away

Went Gilpin's hat and wig!
He lost them sooner than at first-
For why? they were too big !

Now, Mrs. Gilpin, when she saw
Her husband posting down
Into the country far away,

She pull'd out half a crown ;

And thus unto the youth she said,
That drove them to the Bell-
This shall be yours when you bring back
My husband safe and well.

The youth did ride, and soon did meet
John coming back amain;
Whom in a trice he tried to stop
By catching at his rein;

But, not performing what he meant,

And gladly would have done,
The frighted steed he frighted more,

And made him faster run.

Away went Gilpin, and away

Went post-boy at his heels!

The post-boy's horse right glad to miss
The lumbering of the wheels.

Six gentlemen upon the road,
Thus seeing Gilpin fly,

With post-boy scampering in the rear,

They rais'd the hue and cry :

ANNUAL BILL OF MORTALITY.

Stop thief! stop thief!-a highwayman!

Not one of them was mute;

And all and each that pass'd that way
Did join in the pursuit.

And now the turnpike gates again

Flew

open

in short space;

The toll-men thinking as before,
That Gilpin rode a race.

And so he did-and won it too!

For he got first to town;

Nor stopp'd till where he had got up

He did again get down.

Now let us sing-long live the king,
And Gilpin, long live he;

And, when he next doth ride abroad,
May I be there to see!

VERSES

215

ON THE YEARLY BILL OF MORTALITY IN THE

TOWN OF NORTHAMPTON, FOR THE YEAR

1790.

Ne commonentem recta sperne.

BUCHANNAN.

Despise not my good counsel.

HE who sits from day to day
Where the prison'd lark is hung,
Heedless of his loudest lay,
Hardly knows that he has sung,

VOL. I.

216

ANNUAL BILL OF MORTALITY.

Where the watchman in his round
Nightly lifts his voice on high,
None, accustom'd to the sound,
Wakes the sooner for his cry.

So your Verse-man I, and Clerk,
Yearly in my song proclaim
Death at hand-yourselves his mark-
And the foe's unerring aim.

Duly at my time I come,
Publishing to all aloud-

Soon the grave must be your

home,

And your only suit, a shroud.

But the monitory strain,

Oft repeated in your ears,
Seems to sound too much in vain,
Wins no notice, wakes no fears,

Can a truth, by all confess'd,

Of such magnitude and weight,
Grow, by being oft express'd,
Trivial as a parrot's prate?

Pleasure's call attention wins,
Hear it often as we may;

New as ever seem our sins,
Though committed every day.

Death and Judgment, Heav'n and Hell-
These alone, so often heard,

No more move us than the bell,

When some stranger is interr❜d.