Fal. Dost thou hear, hostess?- comes no swaggerers here. Fal. Dost thou hear? it is mine ancient. Host. Tilly-fally, sir John, never tell me; your ancient swaggerer comes not in my doors. I was before master Tisick, the deputy, the other day; and, as he said to me, it was no longer ago than Wednesday last, Neighbour Quickly, says he ;master Dumb, our minister, was by then;-Neighbour Quickly, says he, receive those that are civil; for, saith he, you are in an ill name;-now he said so, I can tell whereupon; for, says he, you are an honest woman, and well thought on; therefore take heed what guests you receive: Receive, says he, no swaggering companions. There comes none here; you would bless you to hear what he said:no, I'll no swaggerers. Fal. He's no swaggerer, hostess; a tame cheatert, he; you may stroke him as gently as a puppy greyhound: he will not swagger with a Barbary hen, if her feathers turn back in any show of resistance.Call him up, drawer. Host. Cheater, call you him? I will bar no honest man my house, nor no cheater: But I do not love swaggering; by my troth, I am the worse, when one says swagger: feel, masters, how I shake; look you, I warrant you. Doll. So you do, hostess. Host. Do I? yea, in very truth, do I, an 'twere an aspen leaf: I cannot abide swaggerers. Enter Pistol, Bardolph, and Page. Pist. 'Save you, sir John! Fal. Welcome, ancient Pistol. Here, Pistol, I charge you with a cup of sack: do you discharge upon mine hostess. * A blustering, fighting fellow. + Gamester. Pist. I will discharge upon her, sir John, with two bullets. Fal. She is pistol-proof, sir; you shall hardly offend her. Host. Come, I'll drink no proofs, nor no bullets: I'll drink no more than will do me good, for no man's pleasure, I. Pist. Then to you, mistress Dorothy; I will charge you. Doll. Charge me? I scorn you, scurvy companion. What! you poor, base, rascally, cheating, lack-linen mate! Away, you mouldy rogue, away! I am meat for your master. Pist. I know you, mistress Dorothy. Doll. Away, you cut-purse rascal! you filthy bung, away! by this wine, I'll thrust my knife in your mouldy chaps, an you play the saucy cuttle with me. Away, you bottle-ale rascal! you baskethilt stale juggler, you!-Since when, I pray you, sir?-What, with two points on your shoulder? mucht! Pist. I will murder your ruff for this. Fal. No more, Pistol; I would not have you go off here: discharge yourself of our company, Pistol. Host. No, good captain Pistol; not here, sweet captain. Doll. Captain! thou abominable damned cheater, art thou not ashamed to be called-captain? If captains were of my mind, they would truncheon you out, for taking their names upon you before you have earned them. You a captain, you slave! for what? for tearing a poor whore's ruff in a bawdy. house? He a captain! Hang him, rogue! He lives upon mouldy stewed prunes, and dried cakes. A captain! these villains will make the word captain as odious as the word occupy; which was an excel * Laces, marks of his commission. lent good word before it was ill-sorted: therefore, captains had need look to it. Bard. Pray thee, go down, good ancient. Pist. Not I: tell thee what, corporal Bardolpla;I could tear her:-l'll be revenged on her. Page. Pray thee, go down. Pist. I'll see her damned first; -to Pluto's damned lake, to the infernal deep, with Erebus and tortures vile also. Hold hook and line, say I. Down! down, dogs! down, faitors*! Have we not Hiren heret? Host. Good captain Peesel, be quiet; it is very late, i'faith: I beseek you now, aggravate your choler. Pist. These be good humours, indeed! Shall pack-horses, And hollow pamper'd jades of Asia, Shall we fall foul for toys? Host. By my troth, captain, these are very bitter words. Bard. Be gone, good ancient: this will grow to a brawl anon. Pist. Die men, like dogs; give crowns like pins; Have we not Hiren here? Host. O' my word, captain, there's none such here. What the good-year! do you think I would deny her? for God's sake, be quiet. Pist. Then feed, and be fat, my fair Calipolis ý: Come, give's some sack. * Traitors, rascals. + A quotation from a play of G. Peele's. ‡ Blunder for Hannibal. Parody of a line in the Battle of Alcasar, an old play. Si fortuna me tormenta, sperato me con tenta. Fear we broadsides? no, let the fiend give fire: Pist. Sweet knight, I kiss thy neif*: What! we have seen the seven stars. Doll. Thrust him down stairs; I cannot endure such a fustian rascal. Pist. Thrust him down stairs! know we not Galloway nagst? Fal. Quoit him down, Bardolph, like a shovegroat shilling: nay, if he do nothing but speak nothing, he shall be nothing here. imbrue? Bard. Come, get you down stairs. Pist. What! shall we have incision? shall we [Snatching up his sword. Then death rock me asleep, abridge my doleful daysý! Why then, let grievous, ghastly, gaping wounds Untwine the sisters three! Come, Atropos, I say! Host. Here's goodly stuff toward! Fal. Give me my rapier, boy. Doll. I pray thee, Jack, I pray thee, do not draw. Fal, Get you down stairs. [Drawing, and driving Pistol out. Host. Here's a goodly tumult! I'll forswear keeping house, afore I'll be in these tirrits and frights. So; murder, I warrant w.Alas, alas! put up your naked weapons, put up your naked weapons. [Exeunt Pistol and Bardolph. Doll. I pray thee, Jack, be quiet; the rascal is gone. Ah, you whoreson little valiant villain, you. Host. Are you not hurt i'the groin? methought, he made a shrewd thrust at your belly. * Fist. + Common hacknies. † Throw. Part of an ancient song. Re-enter Bardolph. Fal. Have you turned him out of doors? Bard. Yes, sir. The rascal's drunk: you have hurt him, sir, in the shoulder. Fal. A rascal! to brave me! Doll. Ah, you sweet little rogue, you! Alas, poor ape, how thou sweat'st! Come, let me wipe thy face; come on, you whoreson chops :- Ah, rogue! i'faith I love thee. Thou art as valorous as Hector of Troy, worth five of Agamemnon, and ten times better than the nine worthies. Ah, villain! Fal. A rascally slave! I will toss the rogue in a blanket. Doll. Do, if thou darest for thy heart: if thou dost, I'll canvass thee between a pair of sheets. Enter musick. Page. The musick is come, sir. Ful. Let them play;- Play, sirs. Sit on my knee, Doll. A rascal bragging slave! the rogue fled from me like quicksilver. Doll. I'faith, and thou followedst him like a church. Thou whoreson little tidy Bartholomew boar-pig, when wilt thou leave fighting o'days, and foining o'nights, and begin to patch up thine old body for heaven? Enter behind, Prince Henry and Poins, disguised like drawers. Fal. Peace, good Doll! do not speak like a death's head: do not bid me remember mine end. Doll. Sirrah, what humour is the prince of? * Thrusting. |