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THE

POETICAL NOTE BOOK,

AND

EPIGRAMMATIC MUSEUM.

THE SECRET.

1

In a fair lady's heart, once, a secret was lurking,

It toss'd and it tumbled, it long'd to get out, The lips half betrayed it by smiling and smirking,

And Tongue was impatient to blab it, no doubt. But honour look'd gruff on the subject, and gave it

In charge to the teeth, so enchantingly white;Should the captive attempt an elopement to save it,

By giving the lips an admonishing bite. 'Twas said and 'twas settled, and honour departed,

Tongue quivered and trembled, but dared not rebel, When right to its tip, Secret suddenly started,

And half, in a whisper, escaped from its cell. Quoth the teeth, in a pet, we'll be even for this,

And they bit very smartly above and beneath, But the lips at that instant were bribed with a kiss,

And they popt out the Secret in spite of the Teeth.

B

THE BACHELOR'S SOLILOQUY.

(A Parody.)

Marry, or not to marry ? that is the question
Whether 'tis nobler in the mind to suffer
The sullen silence of these cob-webbed rooms
Or seek in festive halls some cheerful dame,
And, by uniting, end it ?-to live alone,
No more : and by marrying say we end
The heart-ache, and the thousand make-shifts
Bach’lors are heirs to ; 'tis a consummation
Devoutly to be wished. To marry, to live
In peace ! Perchance in war : ay, there's the rub;
For in the marriage state what ills may come,
When we have shuffled off our liberty,
Must give us pause-there's the respect,
That makes us dread the bonds of wedlock
For who could bear the noise of scolding wives,
The fits of spleen, th' extravagance of dress,
The thirst for plays, for concerts and for balls,
The insolence of servants, and the spurns
That patient husbands from their consorts take
When he himself might his quietus gain
By living single. Who would wish to bear
The jeering name of bachelor,
But that the dread of something after marriage,
(Ah that vast expenditure of income,
The tongue can scarcely tell) puzzles the will,
And makes us rather choose the single life,
Than go to jail for debts we know not of- ?
Economy thus makes bachelors of us still ;
And thus our melancholy resolution
Is still increased upon more serious thought.

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THE MISER AND THE MOUSE,

(From the Greek.) To a Mouse said a Miser, “ My dear Mr. Mouse, Pray what may you please now to wantin my house?" Said the Mouse, “ Mr. Miser, pray keep yourself

quiet, You are safe in your person, your purse,

and

your diet; A lodging I want, which e’en you may afford, But none would come here to beg, borrow, or

board.”

THE ENGLISH UNIVERSITIES.

'Tis no wonder that Oxford and Cambridge abound In such excellent stores of deep learning profound ; Since so many we see come from thence every day, Who scarce ever are known to bring any away.

MUTATIS MUTANDIS.

Once, in a Barn, the strolling Wardrobes' list, Had but one Ruffle left for Hamlet's wrist : Necessity, which has no law, they say, Could, with one Ruffle, but one arm display“ What's to be done ?” the hero said and sigh'd : “ Shift hands each scene,”—A brother buskin cry'd; “ Now in your pocket keep the left from sight, “ Whilst o'er your breast you spread the ruffled

right; « Now in your robe the naked right repose, “ Whilst down your left the dingy cambric flows ; “ Thus, though half-skilled, as well as half-array'd, You'll make one change-which Garrick never

made."

ON COOKE'S PRONUNCIATION.

Ix 1810, when George Freilerick Cooke was performing at Nero York, the critics compluined that he pronounced the words thy and my us thee and me. A wag thus defended him :

“ Great Cooke, your tragic powers surprise,
" You play with ease, and scorn the wise.

yys

ees

DIFFERENCE BETWEEN GOULD AND GOLD.

* An old gentleman of the name of Gould, lutely married a girl scarcely nineteen years af age. After the wedding the juvenile bridegroom addressed to his friend Dr. G- the following couplet to inform him of the happy event :“ So you see, my dear sir, though eighty years old, “ A girl of nineteen falls in love with old Gould.

To which the Doctor replied :

A girl of nineteen may love Gould, it is true; “ But believe me, dear sir, it is Gold without U.

THREE SWALLOWS MAKE A SUMMER.

One sharp frosty day, his Majesty, when Prince of Wales went into the Thatched House Tavern, and ordered a beef-steak; but the weather being very cold, desired the waiter to bring him first a glass of brandy and water. He emptied that in a twinkling, then a second, then a third. Now,' said his royal highness, ' I am warm and comfortable ; bring me my steak.' On this, Mr. Sheridan who was present, wrote the following impromptu :

The prince came in and said 'twas cold,

Then put to his head the rummer ;
Till swallow after swallow came,

When he pronounc'd it summer.

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