WHAT'S AN EPIGRAM.

The first known English Epigram.

On a Scholar, who was pursuing his Studies unsuccessfully, but, in the midst of his Literary Career, married unfortunately.

A student at his book so plast,

That welth he might have wonne,
From book to wife did flete in haste,
From welth to wo to run.

Now who hath paid a feater cast,
Since juggling first beganne?
In knitting of himself so fast,
Himself he hath undone.

WHOLESALE AND RETAIL.

A KNOWING One his horses put
In stables snug till time of sale;
Their coats well curried, trimm'd and cut,
And nicely drest each mane and tail.

A spiteful rogue, just ripe for jail,
Stole unobserv'd into the stable,
And cutting off each horse's tail,
Decamp'd as fast as he was able.

"What shall I do!" the dealer cried,
As loudly he his loss bewail'd;
"Sell them wholesale;" his boy replied,
"You see they cannot be re-tail'd."

FAIR BIDDING.

To an Auction, an honest Hibernian went ; And to Knock-'em down's rhet'rick was very intent,

Who of puffs made a brilliant display ;

"May I bid what I plase? the Irishman cried, "To be sure, Sir,"—the knight of the hammer replied,

"Then I bid you," says Pat," a good day!"

ON MRS. FRY'S AND MRS. STEELE'S TRIAL OF THE TREAD MILL.

When Mrs. Fry, and Mrs. Steele,
One morning went to try

To work a little at the Treading-wheel-
"Oh dear! I feel," said Mrs. Steele,

"All over in a fry," .

"And so do I," said Mrs. Fry,

"I'm sure I'll never steal."

THE GLORIES OF 1802.

Extempore, on seeing the New Barracks at Buckingham House, in 1802, with the King's Arms above and a long chain dangling below, towards the head of a Centinel.

Such are the glories of great George's reign,
Below the bayonet, and above the chain !

EARLY RISING,

Now rosy morning, clad in light,
Dispels the darkling clouds of night;

T

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The sun, in gold and purple drest;
Illumines all adown the east ;.
The sky-lark flies on soaring wings,
And, as he mounts to heav'n, thus sings:
'Arise, ye slothful mortal, rise!
See me ascending to the skies:
Ye never taste the joys of dawn,
Ye never roam the dewy lawn,
Ye see not Phoebus rising now,
Tinging with gold the mountain's brow;
Then rise, ye slothful mortals, rise!
See me ascending to the skies.

ON A LARGE NOSE.

The following lines were written by Thomas Paine, on Count Zenobio, who was remarkable for a Nose of prodigious size.

Walking out the other day,
Upon a certain plan;
I met a nose upon the way,
Behind it was a-man;

I called upon the nose to stop,
And when it had done so ;
The man behind it he came up,
They made-ZENOBIO.

THE GOOD WIFE;

Occasioned by this question : "What three things should a good wife resemble, and yet not resemble?”

Good wives to snails should be akin-
Always their houses keep within ;
But not to carry (fashion's hacks !)
All they are worth upon their backs.

Good wives like echoes still should do,
Speak but when they're spoken to ;
But not like echoes (most absurd!)
To have for ever the last word.
Good wives like city clocks should chime,
Be regular, and keep in time;
But not like city clocks, aloud,
Be heard by all the vulgar crowd.

MATERIALS FOR NOVEL WRITING.

A novel now, says Will, is nothing more
Than an old castle, and a creaking door :
A distant hovel,

Clanking of chains, a gallery, a light,
Old armour, and a phantom all in white-
And there's a novel.

THE KNAVE OF SPADES.

On a Mr. Perfect's comparing the Author to a Knave of Spades.

Perfect, for satire so renowned,

Now feels the lash he meant for me.

I'm but the picture of a knave,

A perfect knave in all his actions he.

THE FLOWERS.

Translated from the French.

With each expanding flower we find
Some pleasing sentiment combin'd;
Love in the Myrtle's bloom is seen,

Remembrance to the Violet clings,

Peace brighten's in the Olive's green,
Hope from the half-clos'd Iris springs;

And Victory on the Laurel glows,

And Woman blushes in the Rose!

COVENT GARDEN THEATRE.

On the Bow-street side of Covent-garden Theatre, stands a statue of Comedy and another of Tragedy. But they both look so sober that it would puzzle Garrick himself to say which is which.

With steady mien, unalter'd eye,
The muses mount the pile;
Melpomene disdains to cry,
Thalia scorns to smile.

Pierian springs when moderns quaff,
'Tis plainly meant to show,
Their Comedy excites no laugh,
Their Tragedy no woe."

ON A DRUNKARD WITH A RED NOSE.

A man did surmise that another one's eyes
Were quite of a different frame:

For if they'd been matches, alas, poor wretches,
His nose would have set them in flame.

CURIOUS HANDBILL OF A SLOPSELLER IN HULL,

B――y, mercer and sea draper, High Street Hull. Sailors rigged complete from stern to stern, viz. chapeau, mapeau, flying-gib, and flesh-jack; inner pea, outer pea, and cord defender; rudder case, and service to the same, up-traders, down-traders, fore-shoes, lacings, gaskets, &c. &c.

With canvass bags,
To hold your cags,