Enter WAITWELL and FOIBLE. Sirrah, Waitwell, why sure you think you were married for your own recreation, and not for my conveniency. Wait. Your pardon, sir. With submission, we have indeed been billing; but still with an eye to business, sir. I have instructed her as well as I could. If sbe can take your directions as readily as my instructions, sir, your affairs are in a prosperous way. Mir. Give you joy, Mrs. Foible. Foi. O-las, sir, I'm so ashamed--I'm afraid my lady has been in a thousand inquietudes for me. But 1 protest, sir, I made as much haste as I could. Wait. That she did indeed, sir. Foi. I told my lady, as you instructed me, sir, that I had a prospect of seeing sir Rowland, your uncle; and that I would put her ladyship's picture in my pocket to show him; which I'll be sure to say has made him so enamour'd of her beauty, that he burns with impatience to lie at her ladyship's feet, and worship the original. Mir. Excellent Foible! Matrimony has made you eloquent in love.. Wait. I think she has profited, sir, I think so. Foi. You have seen madam Millamant, sir? Mir. Yes. Foi. I told her, sir, because I did not know that you might find an opportunity; she had so much company last night. Mir. Your diligence will merit more-in the mean time-[Gives Money. Foi. O, dear sir, your humble servant. Wait. Spouse. Mir. Stand off, sir, not a penny--Go on and prosper, Foible-The lease shall be made good, and the farm stock'd, if we succeed. Foi. I don't question your generosity, sir: and you need not doubt of success. If you have no more commands, sir, I'll be gone; I'm sure my lady is at her O dear, I'm sure toilet, and can't dress till I come. that [Looking out] was Mrs. Marwood that went by in a mask; if she has seen me with you I'm sure she'll tell my lady. I'll make haste home and prevent her. Your servant, sir. B'w'ye, Waitwell. [Exit. Wait. Sir Rowland, if you please. The jade's so pert upon her preferment, she forgets herself. Mir. Come, sir, will you endeavour to forget yourself, and transform into sir Rowland? Wait. Why, sir, it will be impossible I should remember myself. [Exit Mirabell] Married, knighted, and attended, all in one day! 'tis enough to make any man forget himself. The difficulty will be how to recover my acquaintance and familiarity with my former self; and fall from my transformation to a reformation into Waitwell. Nay, I shan't be quite the same Waitwell neither for now I remember, I'm married, and can't be my own again. Ay, there's my grief; that's the sad change of life; To lose my title, and yet keep my wife. [Exit. SCENE I. A Room in LADY WISHFORT's House. Lady W. I have no more patience--If I have not fretted myself till I am pale again, there's no veracity in me. Fetch me the red- -the red, do you hear? An arrant ash-colour, as I'm a person. Look you how this wench stirs! why dost thou not fetch me a little red? didst thou not hear me, mopus? Peg. The red ratafia, does your ladyship mean, or the cherrry-brandy? Lady W. Ralafia, fool! no, fool, not the ratafia, fool -Grant me patience! I mean the Spanish paper, idiot; complexion. Darling paint, paint, paint; dost thou understand that, changeling, dangling thy hands like bobbins before thee? why dost thou not stir, puppet? thou wooden thing upon wires. Peg. Lord, madam, your ladyship is so impatient I cannot come at the paint, madam; Mrs. Foible has lock'd it Lady and carried the key with her. Plague take you both-Fetch me the cherry-brandy then. [Exit Peg] I'm as pale and as faint, I look like Mrs. Qualmsick, the curate's wife, that's always breeding-Wench, come, come, wench; what art thou doing, sipping? tasting? save thee, dost thon not know the bottle. Enter PEG, with a Bottle and China Cup. Peg. Madam, I was looking for a cup. Lady W. A cup, save thee; and what a cup hast thou brought! dost thou take me for a fairy, to drink out of an acorn? why didst thou not bring thy thimble? hast thou ne'er a brass thimble clinking in thy pocket with a bit of nutmeg? I warrant thee. Come, fill, fill -So-again. See who that is. [One knocks] Set down the bottle first.-Here, here, under the tableWhat, wouldst thou go with the bottle in thy hand, like a tapster? [Exit Peg] As I'm a person, this wench has lived in an inn upon the road, before she came to me. No Foible yet? Enter PEG. Peg. No, madam, Mrs. Marwood. Lady W. O Marwood, let her come in. Come in, good Marwood. Enter MRS. MARWOOD. Mrs. Mar. I'm surprised to find your ladyship in dishabillé at this time of day. Lady W.. Foible's a lost thing; has been abroad since morning, and never heard of since. Mrs. Mar. I saw her but now, as I came mask'd through the park, in conference with Mirabell. Lady W. With Mirabell! you call my blood into my face, with mentioning that traitor. She durst not have the confidence. I sent her to negociate an affair, in which, if I'm detected, I'm undone. If that wheedling villain has wrought upon Foible to detect me, I'm ruin'd. Oh my dear friend, I'm a wretch of wretches if I'm detected. Mrs. Mar. O madam, you cannot suspect Mrs. Foible's integrity. Lady W. O, he carries poison in his tongue that would corrupt integrity itself. If she has given him an opportunity, she has as good as put her integrity into his hands. Ah! dear Marwood, what's integrity to an opportunity?-Hark! I hear her-Dear friend, retire into my closet, that I may examine her with more freedom-You'll pardon me, dear friend, I can make bold with you-There are books over the chimneyQuarles and Pryn, and the Short View of the Stage, with Bunyan's works, to entertain you. [Exit Mrs. Marwood] Go, you thing, and send her in. [Exit Peg. Enter FOIBLE. Lady W. O Foible, where hast thou been? what hast thou been doing? Foi. Madam, I have seen the party. Lady W. But what hast thou done? Foi. Nay, 'tis your ladyship has done, and are to do; I have only promised. But a man so enamour'd-so transported! well, if worshipping of pictures be a sin -poor sir Rowland, I say. Lady W. The miniature has been counted like But hast thou not betray'd me, Foible? Hast thou not detected me to that faithless Mirabell?-What hadst thou to do with him in the park? answer me, has he got nothing out of thee? Foi. So, mischief has been before-hand with me; what shall I say? [Aside] Alas, madam, could I help it, if I met that confident thing? was I in fault? If you had heard how he used me, and all upon your ladyship's account, I'm sure you would not suspect my fidelity. Nay, if that had been the worst, I could have borne: but he had a fling at your ladyship too; and then I could not hold: but i'faith I gave him his own. Lady W. Me! what did the filthy fellow say? |