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An Ejay on Bottled Cyder.
287 conform firialy to the following regu- time to write or rather to finish any Jations, which his Majesty will not thing that I set about, that it generally suffer to be violated, with impunity ; [wells to a volume too unwieldy for 1. It is his royal will and in jun&ion, publication, and I get discouraged and that all law (uits be determined IN A throw it in the fire. This has happen
2. That the name of ed to some of my laborious produâi. justice he not prophaned. 3. That all ons ; but now I hope as you have got those who resort to the courts of law, into the way of printing essays by . be treated upon terms of the moft Aria piece meal, I may have the privilege equality, be they princes or peasants, of being one of your correspondents for in the eye of justice all men are without the trouble of reviewing and equals. If his Majesty Mould discover correcting my works and letting them any delinquency of the same nature, lie by me for months together, as I with that which appeared in the case of used to do. the miller, or any violation of these My design is to furnish you with an injuncions, the judges whom he shall essay on bottled cyder, which is a vefind guilty of them, may expeet to be ry, useful and wholerome kind of li. punished with the utmoft rigour, &c. quor and capable of great improveGiven at Berlin, 11 Odober, 1779. ment. If the public will but attend to
FREDERIC. the diretions which I thall give them
on the fubje&i, I doubt not they will
think their time weil spent in perufion An Ejay on Bottled Cyder. By
my essay, and their money well laid TRISTRAM SPINTEXT.
out in purchasing those numbers of the
magazine in which it will be contain Meff'rs Printers.
ed. The observations which I Mall
have the honor of communicating to of your correspondents are food the public are not wholly my own, of taking up several pages in your ma- but have descended to me through segazine with their efsays and that one veral generations,each one refining and of them has lately CLOSED HIS CAUSE improving upon those which were and made room for somebody else... I handed from the generation preceedbeg leave to take his place and bespeak ing, and I am now in the way of imfour or five pages in your magazines, . proving them ftill further, all which for twelve months to come, while I you may easily see will be for the pubcommunicate to the public some very lic benefit ; for as I am continually important hints in my own way for making new experiments on the subtheir entertainment and instruction -- jed and correcting my own mistakes, I say, in MY OWN WAY, because I am the longer I have the matter in hand such a sort of a fellow, that if you go the more beneficial will my essay prove to put me out in telling my story, I to my readers. am obliged to begin again, and goo- I told you just now,that I intended ver the whole of what I have said, be- to give you some account of my famifore I can recover the thread of my ly previous to my entering direally on discourse; and I cannot help it, it is the subject, and there is a particular an infirmity born with me and descen. season to be given for my doing it. I ded from my ancestors for several ge- remember a very polite writer, but I perations, as you may clearly see iorget his name.- no matter, the thing when I come io tell you the ftory of is what I am after and not ti.e name. my family, which I mean to do before I say, I remember he says that when
proceed to the subject of my essay. a new author appears the public is alIn the mean time I must beg your pa
ways agog to know what SORT OF A tience while I congratulate myself on Man he is, whether tall or short, the setting up of such a vehicle for in- white or brown, fator lean, who he formation in this Town, as your ma:
is a kio to, what he is worth, and (och gazine. It is a sort of publication just like things which are important as suited to my capacity, for I am of such matters of curiosity, and serve when a long winded make and take so much kuowa to gratify an innocens defire
in the enquirer. Supposing that some the matter, why says he, I am going of my readers may with to be gratified home for my night cap, for I perceive in this way I mall proceed to tell we shall not be dism fed till morning, them my story, so far as I know it This very divine, was my great grand myself, and that is to begin only as far father aforesaid, he was calied Meback as the Reign of Charles the fe- thuselah, becaufe it was the fashion of cond; for I cannot trace my anceftry the times, to give scripture names, any farther with precision, the records and bis mother,during her pregnancy, of our family having been destroyed dreamed, that her child would live to in the great fire of London which hap. be an old man. It was thought, that pened in the year 1666, if we are to the name was not ill bestowed, for he believe the MONUMENT which as- did live as long, as day body defired one of our poets says
him, and somewhat longer, for thos “ Like a tam bully, lifts its head he was a useful man in his day, and anu LIES."
had the bonor of a lifting the worthy . Now it may tie, for ought I know, Mr. Caryl, in his laborious and long about the causes of the fire, for it al. winded commentary, on the book of cribes the whole mischief to ihe Papiits, Job, (and by the way, he named his and the monument was erected by the ion after that good gentleman) yet Proteftants, some of whom, as another poor man in his old age, he fell into a grave author obferves, “ had got a fow fever, which brougit on a lethargy, (curvy trick of lying for the truth :”
and he was bed.rid, for at leaft, the But as to the date I suppore, it may nine laft years of his life, and by the be depended on. --Well, then as I was reason of this very fore and grievous say og, our ramily records, having indisposition of body and mind too, he pe: :shed in that great Configation, í not only spent all that he had, but cannot precisely trace my pedigree, was obliged to run in debt for more; any farther than the reign of Charles and so left his heir incumbered with the 21, tnos I verily believe, I had the payment of the doctor's and apo. ancesters before that time, and that thecaryos bills, and other expences, fone traces of the family, of the which ihe poor man was obliged to SPINTEXTS, may be found in Oliver become bound to pay, to prevent an Cromweli's cours, and even among
arrest of his father's corps, as it was the school divines.
carrying to the grave. The firfi gentleman of the name of According to the nature and conftiwhom I have any certain acc 'unt,was tution of the family, you may be fure, the Rev Mr. Methuselab Spintext, that the payment of these charges was. who w 18 a learned non-conformist moi- a work not to be performed of a sudden. nifter, and was ejected by the fa al My grand father, Joseph Spintext, uniforinity act, on Bartholomew's day (for as I told you, he was named after 1662. I cannot conceive the reason, good Mr.Cary!) having no patrimony, why, he is not mentioned in Dr. Ca. nor capital to begin business with, and Jamy's account of the ejected ministers being loth to trust to his WITs, to get of that day; but that there was such a living by, for fear, that he dou'd a man, is certain, from our family re- break for want o STOCK, was obliged cords, and I bel ove, I can give you to go to work in a very low, and lure a clue to be satisfied, as well as myself. way to maintain his owo family, and Did you never read or hear, (for it has pay his father's debts. The firft bus been retailed in Joe Miller, and other siness that be undertook, was that of laugh and he fai books,. ever since) of a tinker, woich he chose for two rea. a certain grave divine, who having fons; one was that it coft but little to named his text and raised his doctrine, fet him up, for he had only a hammer lad out the plan of his sermon, in and a bag, and lit le coal, and sodder eighty nine propositions,each of which ing to buy, and with these implements were to be subdivided, and so on, and he travelled about the country, meado that one of the audience, getting up, ing old kettles, and usually accomandgong out of church, was afked by panying his work, with repeating a person in the next pe vw g what was Come of Mr. Bunyan's poetry, which
he had got by heart in his youth; the positive enjoyments attendant on this other reason why he chose this trade, period of human life. Alas, what a was, that in repeating his verses, he long catalogue of diseases might be could beat timē ro exaâly with his ena meraled, to which the tender age Kammer, that as one of our modern of childhood is subje&ed i now wretch. poets expreffes it," The found Teemed ed, how miserable would it be, withto be an Tcgo to the sense,” and my out the softening care and folicitude grand-latrer, was so great a judge of of a parent ! Still helples and depropriety and confiftency, tho he was fenceless in itself, to how many difa a poor man, that I dely all the world afters is it exposed, to how many painto lay he ever did an inconfiftent thing ful fenfibilities, which though not atto highsc He was a dear lover of church tended with very lasting impressions, mufic, and could fing all the good old yet perhaps with those of the moft tones in David's Plalm-book, with pungent and agonizing kind. fuch an air and grace, as would almoft these two ftages comprehend a very have made a Lobter dance, if he could large part of human life, or in other bat have heard him.-.Ah! this word words as a very large proportion of L0BTIR, makes me think of my poor
the human race are interested only in father : as you will readily perceive them, if the arguments which have when I come to tell you the Aory of been adduced repeating them, are just him ;--- but let us take things as we
and unanswerable, it follows, that eind them for I hate to have the ORDER. ven admitting a less degree of proof of them inverted, -As I was observ. ia the subsequent periods, yet what ing, my grand-father firft took up the has been alreaiy advanced must go a trade of a tinker, with a view to get
g cat way in support of our general enough money to maintain his family, poftion. The quantity, if I may be and pay tuis father's debts, and he did allowed the term, of happiness usualpretty well, for a while ; but it was ly attendant on adult age greatly defoon found by his employers, that for
pends upon the moral conduět of youth, every bole, that he mende 1, he made and the indiscretion and immoralities
Wo; and this caused thein whenever commited in his period, are often pro. they could meet with him, to infift on
ductive of the most bitter sorrow and his mending their kettles over again,
remorse in that ; but as I have pro. for nothing, which he was too honeft
mired to leave out of my eftimate all toetuse, but he learned by experience, moral evils, and to take in those only that this way, would never do ; it was which are purely natural, i thall li. kke the squirrel in the cage, who keeps
mit myself to the confideration of always travelling upward, and yet
throse impulses which are generally Bever gets to the top. He was there.
inseperably connected with this period, fora obliged to turn his hand another as arising from the nature and confor way for a living.
mation of the animal frame itself ;and (To bo continued.)
as these impulses must frequently, ac
cording to the degree of their operaOn M A N.
tion, produce a greater, or less effe&t
on the subsequent stages, I mall yet, (Continued from page 230.)
in a connected view proceed upon my 1 HIS prefent uneasiness, so far as
inquiring into the circumstances at. it respects animal nature, which
tending them. As there include alis the fobject of inquiry, is a real and
mof the whole of the busy and acPositive evil; it is very true that con:
tive part of mankind, and in a man. kdered with respect to the conse
ner characterize or give the complex. quences which may ensue from each
ion to the human portrait, we shall be refraint, it may upon the whole, 1. e.
at liberty to expatiate with less rein some future stage of bis present ex
Atraint upon the traits and features of iteace be the means of diminishing
which it is composed. the sum of evil; but as this argument
• The sensual gratifications and enen evidently be of no weight under joyments are probably at the nighet fins head, we thall consider that single exa& equilibrium betwero the fluids Souree, as at leaft a balance for all the and Solids, the quick flow of tne an je
mal spirits, the warmth of blood, and but he muft be a philosopher indeed, bloom of beauty all conspire to ren- who does not feei his folicitudes, his der extatic the pleasures of this feet- anxieties increase, in the same proing period, On the wing of appetite portion as he feels his affe&ions engagand expectation, untaught by experi; ed and captivated ; such is the frailence, and undisciplined in the scnoolty of humanity, that innumerable of adversity, every diftant object of evils are perpetually threat'ning those defire is view'd under the most enchan. whom he holds mof dear in life; a ting colours, and porsued with an avi; thousand arrows are pointed at the dity which itrell is often the means of very vitals of his peace, and the lardeftruction ; but how traosient, how ger the mark, the greater is the dan. momentary, how unsatisfactory, how ger of a wound : whilft he is fondly inadequate to the expectation are the caiefing the child on whom he doats, enjoyments when obtain'd! the paffi does he not often experience the intrus ons themselves onless kept under a fion of some gloomy ideas, founded controul which to animal nature muft on the frailties of mortality, or on the be extremely mortifying, will run us uncertainty repeating its welfare in into a thousand difficulties, and is the world? but are his anticipations volve us in misery and wretchedoels realized, and does an inexorable disfrom which oo future caution or pru. eare invade the tender frame of the dence may be suffic ent to extricate us; wife of his bolom, or the darling of on the one hand then a perpetual ftate his arms, what apguish of soul, what of mortification, a continual warfare diftracting agonies take possession of with the appetites and passions, moft him! the greater the degree of attachJeftrain us to proper bounds, or the ment, the ftronger and more violent delirium of paflion will lead us into will be the fock he Tuftains, whilft fatal indulgences, and be succeeded, the man of weaker paffions, and less at the period of reason and refeftion, fenfibilities, as being less susceptible by the most pungent and excruciating of the softer impreffions, will be propain. The sober judgment of riper age porcionably less distress'd on ro tryis the hour of reason and reflection, ing an occafion ; a convincing proof, which generally inscribes “vanity," that the higher our enjoyments rise, and often "vexation of fpirit” upon. and the fronger our attachments are the folies and inconfideratenefs of ear to the things of the present scene, the lier life, but still the fascination con- greater will be the evil of a privation tinues ! deception and difappointinent of them, and the greater the Colicitude have been the refult of all our san- intermixed with their pofleffion. In guine pursuits, but hope yet travels the instance of property, and the pora ou, the pleasing prospeas of 'happiness in feffion of wealth, there is perhaps no society are generallyene motives which more common obfervations than, that prompt us to forther exertion in the the folicitude attending them, and the busy paths of life; the sweets of friend. perpetual fear of lofs and disappointTip are generally highly spoken of, ment, are fully a balance for the mabur who amongtt a thousand has ex- ny advantages that may be supposed perienced them ? our confidence is of. 10 be derived from riches. And is ten betray'd, by those whose interest life and health lefs precarious than it is to deceive us, but are we happy wealth? or is it true indeed, that we enough to be succesful in the choice seldom feel the full force of oor enjoy. of a Triend and confidant, should we meots whilft in poffefion, that we only with to give him pain by communica. learn to eftimate their value by their ting our own ? surely not, and yet loss ? truly this will generally be this communication is considered as granted. If we know not the value one of the most folacing priviledges of of a thing poffesad but by its loss, it friendthip. This is the period in which follows, that possession of a thing vaour domeftic connexions, are usually Tuable, is attended with no very great formed and enlarged ; and that the fatisfaction, but that the loss is atten. higheft happiness in the present ftate ded with real pain. In fad, human arises from them, I will readily admit ; life evinces the affertion in ev'ry in,
291 Atance, we advert to ; it is rare that I infer; that most of our pleasures are we realize our present happiness, we but a negative of pain, and that poffeldom value a present good, except fitive pleasure, or absolute happiness, when we are threat'ned with the loss is rarely to be met with, in the present of it, so intermixed are the evils of Aate. --Bodily pain, however, is moft life with the pleasures of it, that there undoubtedly a pofitive evil.--. On the is scarcely a sweet without a bitter, one hand then, we find (carcely any scarcely a role without a thorn, scarce, thing, that can deserve the name of ly a pleasure whose exiftence did not happiness ; but on the other, a thouspring from a previous pain, or which fand pains and disquietudes, which will not prove the means of begetting with the common feelings of humania subsequent one.
ty, are inseperably connected with " Man never is but always TO BE our present existence. bleft." The infirmities attendant on The observations that have been old age are so conspicuous, that little made, may lead to the proof of another need be urg'd in rapport of our argu- propofition,of important consequence ment, from the circumstances of life in the economy of the human system, at that helpless period. The Ariking that the distribution of the real calafigures in which it is describ'd by the mities of life, is pretty equal among mouth of the preacher in holy writ the whole species, and, with perhaps " while the sun, and the moon, and the a very few exceptions, if any, of corftars are dark'aed,” &c. conftrain us poreal pain, each individual has his with him to entitle it, the evil days Mare, of what are called the pleasures wherein (we may emphatically say) and enjoyments of life..- No external we have no pleasure..... I might circumstances of poverty, or affluence, greatly enlarge upon this subjeet and have any permanent effect on the de thew, that moft of our enjoyments in grees of happiness; but the mind thos life are such only as depend entirely perhaps momentarily affected by exupon, and owe their very exiftence ieroal occurrences, and the babitudes to the wants, neceffities and distresses of the body, seems to be endued with, previously experienced, and that our a property of accomodating itfelf to a pleasures in general as neceffarily pre- certain equality, or a general Atandard suppore pain and vucaliners, as the of serenity and quietud:, if it is pronatural appetite, and relish for food per to apply these terms, to a mere implies a pieceeding sensation of hun- negation of pain. Let any man fairly ger; a fingle day's enjoyment of ease examine human life, and if he can and present relief from acute pain, fully diveft himself of prejudice, he to a person who has been continually must conclude, that whatever may be alli Aed with extreme bodily torture, our reluctance, at the idea of a diffo is a higher pleasure, if we may so call lution of the body, it does by no means it, than a ye ır of the most perfect,and proceed from the advantages of the uninterrupted healing to a man, who present state, with respect to happiness. from his cradle, has been unacquainted Animal nature, without reason, is with any more than the names of pain
terrified at the view of that convulfive and disease.-- Is a life of perfeâ calm. pang, which tends to the deftruation ness, and serenity, that which is at- of life.--It is very difficult to undetended with the highest pleasure ? on ceive ourselves in this matter, because the contrary do they not oftener ac. there are so many other strong reasons company the less easy circumstances for the dread of mortality, which perof life? Do we not ostener see them in haps our pride will not allow us to acthe cottage, than in the palace ? Is koowledge for the true ones, that there any condition of life, that does we early receive the prejudice, and not become intipid by habit, so that adopt it for a truth, without giving the very continuance of it fall become ourselves the trouble to examine it. an evil? In fine, are not the calamities We are not willing to confess, a of life, as necessary to confitute our cowardly fear of the agonies of dying, pleasure, as storms, and commotions and we are too hypocritical to own in the atmosphere, are for rendering any apprehenfion, from the events of it habitable and falutary ? K fo, then fucurity ; but we think it no di Monor,
What • Eccle. xi. chap