Of this kind a HOOP PETTICOAT ap- The INTERVIEW. peared; but had it been palatable it was foo big to be swallowed. A large lump of HAIR, clotted with PoMATUM and POWDER, fucceeded; but not a fish, who had a nose, would approach. All fifhing was at a ftand, and Cupid began almoft to despair. Fatigue ed and mortified, he flew back to Venus. He entered her apartment, and blubbered as he spoke: "Mamma, I fhall indeed become a beggar, 1 find fishing even worse than hunt ing." "My fon, (replied Venus) I fancy you have not followed my inftructions. Let me look into your basket, and examine of what bait you have made use." She fearched, and difcovered, that not a fingle MENTAL lure had been fixed upon the hook. "Return, my fon (faid fhe). Em ploy the baits of the MIND: I affure you fuccefs." Cupid haftened once more to the fame happy fpot of Columbia, where mental baits of all kinds could be procured. He made a large addition to the flock he had already in his Lafket, and re-ascended to the Roating cloud; PRUDES, COQUETTES, PAINTED FACES, HOOP PETTICOATS and CRAPED HAIR, were plucked with violence from his hooks, and in their ftead were fixed WIT, GOOD SENSE, POLITENESS, AFFABILITY, TASTE, ELE GANCE, DELICACY, MODESTY CANDOUR,TRUTH, CALMNess, TENDERNESS, HUMANITY, and other charming lures of the fame kind. As he faftened on the baits, he dropped his lines one after another. The fishes, who were fick ened and disgufted with the vile trash, that had lately been offered, approached with ardour and delight,and were easily caught. They were pulled up in vaft multitudes. Hymen purchased them with avidity. He carried them awayand depofited them in the moft lovely fish ponds of his eftare. Cupid flew in triumph to his mother, and declared, that hereafter be would make use of no other than the baits of the MIND. A genuine Story. Illustrated with a Copper plate. D ORINDA is at once the moft amiable and beautiful of her fex; indeed, it is difficult to determine whether the charms of her mind, or those of her person, are the most prevalent; but united they may be pronounced irrefiftible. had finished the career of a polite eduAt the age of nineteen, after she cation, of which her capacity was perfectly fufceptible, her father judiciously thought it was time to settle her in the world: and though he did not entertain the flighteft fufpicion coquetry, of which he was perfectly of any danger from either levity, or free; yet he knew nature at that ly he confulted her, in a friendly period would prevail, and accordingmanner, with regard to the difpofiti on of her heart, and the state of her affections. He found as yet they had received no bias; and, therefore, confulted what fort of a man would meet her approbation. mode of choosing a coxcomb, a pupSo far from adopting the ridiculous py of tafte, in one word a Macaroni, The defcribed her choice nearly in the following words; "Were I to unite for life with a man, to call him my husband, it would be with one whose fenfe furpaffed his beauty'; who had feen the world, and knew how to behave with propriety in all companies; who had courage to proteft his own honour, as well as mine; who was not of a quarrelfome difpofition, but would rather avoid broils, than promote them who had read enough not to be ignorant of that neceffary knowledge fuited to a gentlemen; yet as diftant from a bookworm, as an ignoramus, and, therefore, many degrees diftant from a pedant. An old man would certainly not be my choice, nor yet a boy; but one who had had fufficient experience to know the world and himfelf: one who was not addicted to the fashionable vices of the times; and yet was not fuch a Cynic as to fhun all fashionable pleafures. He should be be no gamefter, though I could with him to play for his amufement; a libertine, in every fenfe of the world, would be my deteftation; and if he had done his country fome fervice, either in a military or naval capacity, it would be a much greater recom mendation to me." No fooner had Dorinda's father heard this judicious election, than his fancy was immediately ftruck with the idea of his worthy friend Altamont. He was a man who had received a liberal education, was defcended from a good family, and in poffeffion of a decent fortune; he was bred to the profeffion of arms, and had been appointed to a public character at a foreign court; he was, indeed, the accomplished gentleman; he had, as Addifon expreffes it, "vifited courts and camps," and was equally well acquainted with them both. His age was about thirty; but being of a good conftitution, and of an athletic form, his years, if they could be called fuch, had not made any ravages upon his perfon. It is true there might have feemed a great difparity between their ages; but confidering the difference of the fexes, and the care Altamont had taken to preferve his conftitution, in every refpect, except the toils and fatigues of war, this apparent barrier to Dorinda and Altamont's happiness was eafily furmounted. We now approach the fubjoined INTERVIEW, where we find Dorinda's father introducing his daughter to Altamont, in the prefence of her mother; an Interview equally agreeable to all the parties, and which we may reasonably fuppofe was fucceeded by a happy union between the lovers. It may, perhaps, feem Arange, that this apparent match at first fight, fhould be fo completely congenial to all their wishes: but it hath been obferved, that Altamont had long entertained a TENDRE for Dorinda; and though he was at thofe tender years unacquainted with the flutter ings of her heart..." a figh gave the omen, and faid it was love." After this ecclairciffement," it will not appear wonderful, that Altamont and Dorinda should be extremely hap py in this Interview, or that her pa rents fhould fympathize in the mu tual approbation which was painted in their countenances upon this agree able occasion. To wind up this ftory, we need on ly add, that Altamont hath fince fig nalized himself heroically in defenc of his country, and that he has late ly returned from. Alia, with the spoil of the enemy to a very confiderable o amount; and though he has no made an immenfe fortune by mean of the rapacity, treachery, and du plicity, of fome of our European Na bobs, he has gained, in the moft up right manner, fuch a competence as will render it needless for him t return to the Afiatic part of the glob to increase his fortune, which is fuf ficient to make his beloved Dorind completely happy in the man sh adores. Whimsical Diftrefs of a Country Physician. AM a phyfician, and as my caf is very extraordinary, I mean t Publifh it for the benefit of the pub lic. When a man lives, as I did, un married, till he is fixty-one, he ha better never marry at all. There are more ways by which a woman ma torment her husband besides being jealous of him. To give you fom idea of my fituation, take the genera outlines of my hiftory: The earlie part of my life I fpent at college i the ftudy of phyfic, and, I don't kno why, acquired the character of a odd learned fellow. When I arrive at the age of forty, a vacancy happer ed in the neighbourhood of my birth I was invited by my uncle to tak upon me the infirmities of all th folks within the circle of twent miles. Before I fet out, I ordere the college barber to make me, wha the wags called a Lion or a Pompey literally, nothing more than a goo phyfical wig; under the shadow o which, by the affiftance of a handfom cane, properly applied to the im movable mufcles of my face, and very few fignificant fhrugs and folem pods, I foon acquired the reputatio of an eminent phyfician. Fees cam in apace; fo that, in the courfe of twenty years, I had laid up more money than I really knew what to do with. Whether it was my learning, my perfon, or my money, I can't fay; but a lady of the neighbourhood took a vaft liking to fomething belonging to me. I was not fo blind but I faw the conqueft; for he would often come and spend a week together with me: in fhort, I married her. I was paft the years of difcretion, and fo I married her. O what a condefcenfion! A lady of her family, rank, and fathion in life! As for age, indeed, the was but fix years younger than myfelf; and for fortune, if the ever had any, fhe had spent it; and yet I was fuch a fool, as to be convinced, the was conferring the greatest obligation in the world upon me. No fooner did the take upon her the management of my family, thзa adieu for ever to all order, peace, and comfort. She began with discharging poor Jonas, because he made fo queer a Egure in a long queue and white flockings, which the infifted upon his wearing, though the poor fellow could not but laugh at himself. The fame day with Jonas, my old wig was difcarded. It must be confeffed it grew rather the worse for wear. From long .acquaintance, it had contracted fuch a connection and familiarity, that it no longer kept that refpe&ful distance from each fide of my face, which had at firft fo much diftinguished it. I had, however, fill continued it th fervice, purely from this reflection, the older it grew the lefs occafion it had for combing. A new wig has been immediately put on the flocks, with a feather'd top and a forked tail; fince the arrival of which I am never fuffered to stir out, let the occafion be ever lo preffing, before it is combed and powdered. Our prig of a new footman is fo long twifting, and tickhog it up, that a fcore of patients have expired, and the fees have been loft, ere I was able to fet out to receive them. My fnuff-coloured fuit had been reinflated every other year, from a pattern that was left in the hands of an honeft taylor on the neighbouring heath. He, poor fellow, was likewife forbid the houfe; because, according to my directions, he made my cloths eafy. A more fashionable operator was charged with preparing a new fuit with gold button-holes. He made them to fit fo exa&ly, that I dare not bring my hands to meet before me, for fear of laying open my fpinal bone. My hat is not to be flapp'd any more, even tho' the fun shines full in my face. I am no longer fuffered to wash my face, according to cuftom, every morning, at the pump in my backyard, though nothing was more refreshing; nor any thing more handy than the towel, which revolved on a rowiler at the back of the kitchen door. On my returning home the other day from vifiting a patient, I found the maid had fet my ftudy to rights, as the called it, but the confufion which the regularity has occafioned, is almoft inconceivable. My toepin, my fhoeing horn, and tobacco topper, are loft forever; my papers are difpofed in fuch order,that I know not where to recur to any thing I want. Two pair of old Manchefter velvet breeches, which I left on the back of a chair, have difappeared; and inftead of the easy flippers which I had made out of an old pair of fhoes, by cutting the ftraps off, I found a new pair of red leather,adorned with white ftitches round the edges, and made fo neat, that I can't bear to walk in them. My woolen night cap is condemned, in company with my brown hofe, to the vile purpose of rubbing the grates and fenders; and my wife inifts that I wear one of linen, flounced on all fides and adorned with a black ribband, which, tying together the aperture within an inch and a half of the top, carelefly flows down on the fide. I took fuch a violent cold the firft night, that it brought a defluxion of humours into my right eye, which very nearly deprived me of fight. The ftair-cafe and floors are all waxed; it faves the expence of mops, indeed; but I have fuch falls that I have almost dislocated every joint about me. My neck is ftretched out in fuch a manner, that I am apprehenfive of having |