Sorely she rued their ill-advis'd departure,
They meant to hunt the Turk, but caught a Tartar..

CUPBOARD LOVE.

FRANK carves very ill, yet will palm all the meats;
He eats more than six, and drinks more than he eats.
Four pipes after dinner he constantly smokes,
And seasons his wit with impertinent jokes.
Yet sighing, he says, we must certainly break;
And my cruel unkindness compels him to speak,
For of late I invite him but four times a week,

GENEROSITY AND PRUDENCE.
FRANK, who will any friend supply,
Lent me ten guineas-Come, sa.d I,
Give me a pen, it is but fair,

You take my note :-quoth he, " Hold there;
"Jack! to the cash I've bid adieu ;-

"No need to waste my paper too!"

THE LIBELLER.

FRETFUL might well a theme for libel choose,
Whose jaundice was his first and only inuse,

THE EFFEMINATE BEAU.

FRIBBLE, while you with pride advance
Your long establishment in France,
By Paris air and taste refin'd
To something of the monkey kind;
Whene'er we gossip, why lug in
Some term significant of kin ?-
Why brother Countryman, I'd know,
To me, John Bull from top to toe?
Say where does the resemblance strike,
And how are we so very like?
A score of curls in fluttering state
Embellish your luxuriant pate:

My close-shorn poll and scanty scut
Affect the smug Tom Onslow cut.
Your powders, essences, and slops,
From twenty advertising shops, -

Creams, pastes, pomades, and drugs, would poze
The veriest perfumer's nose.

My sole cosmetic soap, I ween,

I ply the pump, and think I'm clean.

Your languishing falsetto note

Scarce steals in whispers from your throat :
My boisterous voice, from leathern lungs,
Out bawls a dozen fishmen's tongues.
Hence we're no more alike, I gather,
Than Pacchierotti and his father.
But if we must alliance claim,
Because our native soil's the same,
And you persist, howe'er absurd,
To brother me at every word,
I'll call you, set your mind at ease,
My sister, Fribble, when you please.

ON

DR. FRIEND'S LONG-WINDED EPITAPHS. FRIEND! in your epitaphs I'm griev'd,

So very much is said:

One half will never be believ'd,

The other never read.

UPON A YOUNG GENTLEMAN REFUSING TO WALK WITH THE AUTHOR IN THE PARK, BECAUSE HE WAS NOT DRESSED WELL.

FRIEND Col, and I, both full of whim,

To shun each other oft agree;

For I'm not beau enough for him,
And he's too much a beau for me,

Then let us from each other fly,
And arm in arm no more appear;
That I may ne'er offend your eye,
That you may ne'er offend my ear.

ADVICE TO A BERKSHIRE PUBLICAN. FRIEND Isaac, 'tis strange, you, that live so near Bray,

Should not set up the sign of the vicar;
Tho' it may be an odd one, you cannot but say
It must be the sign of good liquor.

ANSWER.

INDEED, master poet, your reason's but poor;
For the vicar would think it a sin

To stay, like a booby, and lounge at the door,-
"Twere a sign of bad liquor within.

PRETTY CHILDREN.

FRIEND Thomas, I have seen your spouse,
And never saw a plainer creature!

And as for you, the world allows

Your face has scarce a human feature.

Say then, what method you pursue?

Your boys are Loves, your girls are Graces!
Why, madam, they'd be ugly too,

"If we begot them with our faces."

ON A BEE, STIFLED IN HONEY.
FROM flow'r to flow'r, with eager pains,
See the blest, busy lab'rer fly;

When all that from her toil she gains,
Is, in the sweets she hoards, to die.

'Tis thus, wou'd man the truth believe,
With life's soft sweets, each fav'rite joy:

If we taste wisely, they relieve;

But if we plunge too deep, destroy.

THE SMILING FAIR.

FROM morn till eve, throughout the day,
My Chloe was serenely gay:

I romp'd with Phyllis-all the while.
Nothing disturb'd my Chloe's smile.

The next day came-the morning low'r'd,
Our schemes were crost, our tempers sour'd.
Still Chloe smil'd-Amaz'd I said,
"Can nothing vex this lovely maid?"
At length a tooth, by luckless blow,
Was struck from out the pearly row:
Tho' time has long since heal'd the pain,
My Chloe never smil'd again.

ON AN AMOROUS DOCTOR. FROM Rufa's eye sly Cupid shot his dart, And left it sticking in Sangrado's heart; Nor from that moment has be quiet known, And peaceful sleep has from his eyelids flown; And Opium's force, or what is more, alack! His own Orations cannot bring it back. In short, unless she pities his afflictions, Despair will make him take his own prescriptions.

ON THE MISSES ********,

THREE BEAUTIFUL HIGHLAND LADIES. FROM Scotish mountains, hid in clouds,

What heavenly forms descend!

No more, ye maids of English birth,

To beauty's crown pretend.

Forbear to boast your rosy bloom,

A transitory dye:

Faint, near these denizens of air,

And inmates of the sky.

Nor strange, their beauty earlier dawns,

And later knows decay;

Who, when from Heaven their sisters fell,
Dropt oply half the way.

ON MR. ADDINGTON BEING MADE
PREMIER.

FROM the calm guidance of the fierce debate,
The Speaker's called to guide the helm of state;
Oh! may his voice reach warfare's distant border,
And Europe's powers attend to-" Order! Order!"

THE MODERN TRAVELLER.

FROM the grand tour, through Paris, Florence,
Rome,

The travell'd youth returns accomplish'd home.
Learn'd in each goût, and vers'd in every fashion,
He comes to teach and to adorn the nation.
With smartest airs he sparkles through the town,
And views with scorn the academic clown;
A modern wit extremely read in French,

Can sing, and dance, and dress, and swear, and

wench.

Accomplishments like his demand esteem;

He knows the world,-aye, and the world knows him.

ONE MAN'S MEAT ANOTHER'S POISON. FROM the same cause we oft perceive

Diff'rent effects arise:

Thus Stop by drugs contrives to live,
Whilst ev'ry patient dies.

IN CHAUCER'S STYLE.

FULL oft doth Mat with Topaz dine,
Eateth bak'd meats, drinketh Greek wine:
But Topaz his own werke rehearseth;
And Mat mote praise what Topaz verseth:
Now, sure as priest did e'er shrive sinner,
Full hardly earneth Mat his dinner.

A LASTING SUIT.

FULL twenty years, through all the courts,
One craving process George supports.